Love & Marriage

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crazymylife
i am getting hopeless.
September 29, 2012 at 12:37 PM

Hi Everyone!

I  have been tolerating with my husband for so much, now i cant do it anymore and i cant share with anyone, so finally joined here for solutions...


 I have loved & love my husband but he never touches me unless we are having sex. He wont hold my hand, cuddle, me, put his arm around me, kiss me, let me lean on him..any contact.He wont even cuddle after sex! Even if i go near to him to lean & show some affections, he shouts asif he is angry at me. I tell him sometimes that i love to be hugged, kissed & need some affections, but this is to reason for him.

Now i thought of ignoring him, coz he makes me hopeless.What do you think dear's?



Replies

  • ShannaBee
    September 29, 2012 at 5:07 PM

    Some people are not affectionate. Have you asked him why he behaves this way?

  • crazymylife
    October 1, 2012 at 12:39 PM

    Hi ShannaBee!

    Yes of course...i always tell him but he is really a stubborn man, even i tell him directly to show some affection ,  i asked him and he keep on saying.."stop saying  irritating words" That is why i feel he dosent love and care me, as for me i reallly do. I dont know the reason behind...and i am becoming hopelss..i am telling you frankly.

    I sometimes thought of getting a boyfriend..coz there is no use loving him so much. 

  • m0mmy0ftw02012
    October 1, 2012 at 12:46 PM

    Some men are like that. Has he always been like that? My ex was like that, i hated that.... but my SO now is so loving. Try what you think will work. If sitting down and talking to him will work, do it. If Ingoring him will work, do it.  Best of luck sweetie!  Things will get better, just keep your head up! :)

  • MomToovey
    October 1, 2012 at 3:57 PM

     Have you told him this? Have you said that his lack of physical affection has led you to feel this way? He needs to know it's more than just touching, that it's about keeping his woman. Most guys don't realize that just because they're satisfied doesn't mean EVERYONE is satisfied. Good luck.

    Quoting crazymylife:

    Hi ShannaBee!

    Yes of course...i always tell him but he is really a stubborn man, even i tell him directly to show some affection ,  i asked him and he keep on saying.."stop saying  irritating words" That is why i feel he dosent love and care me, as for me i reallly do. I dont know the reason behind...and i am becoming hopelss..i am telling you frankly.

    I sometimes thought of getting a boyfriend..coz there is no use loving him so much. 

     

  • crazymylife
    October 3, 2012 at 5:20 AM

    Hi Dear's

    Thanks for all your views. I think the best way to make him realize is to avoid him, no matter how hard it really is, coz talking with him dosen't make any sense for him and making me more hopeless. He simply gives his sweet talks but not his affection & i deserve sth. more than that, after all i am a mother of his child. I do good to him & his parents without any discrimination..but he dont notice that also. For me i am alyways open & share everything that is inside me, but no way he doest that.

    He simply care about himself & his friends, manages time for friends, but hardly for us.

    I have a long story, but you guys will be bored.

    So any ways, thanks for your concerns.


    Regards


  • 2lilmamas
    October 3, 2012 at 6:28 AM
    Hmm has he always been this way. I could understand if he not affectionate.But it does hurt for him to hug you or kiss you every now and then. Everyone needs to feel loved in a relationship.
  • crazymylife
    October 4, 2012 at 6:44 AM


    Yes, what you said is right. I dont expect that all the time, but sometimes i love to be loved & cared.

    He was good before our marriage, but after i dont see in the same way. He never ask me to go out with him, & he go alone with his friends, that i undrstand, but all the time i am getting hurt. In my case i always ask him for out whenever i have sth. to attend like dinner parties. I love to spend time with him and he never..so because of this he hit on me once & i  felt so upset with his behavior towards me..which i would say...hatred...not love.

    Judging his body language..he really dont care about me...but i cant study his mind...after satyin together for 4 years.


    Rgds 



  • RichlyMiddle
    October 4, 2012 at 7:49 AM

    Hi Crazymylife,

    First of all, I would like to say that I am really sorry that you are going through this.  I am going to give you a little advice. I have been married for over 20 years. 

    There seem to be a lot going on in your relationship.  Because I address the affection issue, I think that you said something more important that he hit you.  I think that you might need to consider that you may be in an abusive relationship and seek some help outside this forum.  In your relationship should anyone but their hands on the other in a hostile manner for any reason regardless of how upset the person gets.

    Another thing that you might need to consider is looking within and finding some love for yourself. Regardless of your spouse's action, you need to love yourself.  At the end of the day I don't know if you have children but that can be projected on to them.

    I think that your spouse and you need to consider some kind of counseling if you want to save the relationship. 

  • crazymylife
    October 7, 2012 at 8:41 AM

    Thank you so much for your advice,  You know what??? I started ignoring him, & he started to become close to me.But i am not really going to be the same person as i am really hurt inside because before he got no work to do and i managed everything by myself with 0 balance in my pocket. But later on he opened his  bussiness & became so different to me and my family, which also hurt me like hell, after all i have also struggled so much for him. I also asked him to get divorce & he accepted, but i dont know, he agreed out of anger or not.




  • Bluerivergirl
    October 7, 2012 at 8:55 AM

    I hate to say this but he just sounds like a total jerk, love.  You deserve WAY WAY WAY BETTER !!!!!!

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