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Ladybug1260
People are quick to say "dump him".....do they just say that or would really do that?
September 20, 2012 at 8:49 AM

Did you ever notice whether on your own posts or someone elses that what seems to be one of the first responses people have for you is "dump him".  I sometimes think that people say that just to come off like a hard ass when in reality in their own lives they know that they wouldnt.  Am I off the beaten path here?

Replies

  • CutieCrab
    October 5, 2012 at 10:29 AM
    Depends
  • mommagirl77
    October 5, 2012 at 10:31 AM
    Well said!!!


    Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

    I think it depends on the sitation. Some women come on here with some really effed up stories and by all means SHOULD just pack up their kids and run. 

    Sometimes people are just venting and exaggerate, or they condense 5-10 years worth of problems into a 3 paragraph post that makes things sound way worse than they really are. 

    I don't think everyone should just "dump him", even in cases of random infidelity. It's more complicated then that, especially if you are married and financially bound together. It's a lot cheaper to break up than to get divorced. If my husband cheated on me and it was just a random one night stand, I don't think I'd leave. It would take me a lonnnnnnnnnnng time to get over it, but I wouldn't dump him. If he cheated multiple times though, or had a prolonged relationship on the side, or cheated and produced a child, that's it. I find that inexcusable. 

    In cases of abuse, I wish every woman here who is being physically/emotionally abused would just get off of Cafemom, pack their shit, and leave. Not only are they doing a disservice to themselves, but they are harming their kids in unimaginable ways. In those cases, I mean it whole heartedly when I say "dump him".


  • nikkifam5
    October 5, 2012 at 2:32 PM
    Very much agree.. although slight differences. But that's where we are all different. I think people tend to forget that infidelity is nothing new to relationships or marriage. And that we are only human and usually there are reasons behind a spouse cheating. I don't think its right and nobody deserves to be cheated on. But unless you are a heartless piece of grabage, then you don't just cheat to cheat. Some have communication issues, some have sexual addictions, sometimes relationships become routine and we start acting as roommates rather then a bonded union. And again that's where communication comes into play.

    Quoting mommagirl77:

    Well said!!!




    Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

    I think it depends on the sitation. Some women come on here with some really effed up stories and by all means SHOULD just pack up their kids and run. 

    Sometimes people are just venting and exaggerate, or they condense 5-10 years worth of problems into a 3 paragraph post that makes things sound way worse than they really are. 

    I don't think everyone should just "dump him", even in cases of random infidelity. It's more complicated then that, especially if you are married and financially bound together. It's a lot cheaper to break up than to get divorced. If my husband cheated on me and it was just a random one night stand, I don't think I'd leave. It would take me a lonnnnnnnnnnng time to get over it, but I wouldn't dump him. If he cheated multiple times though, or had a prolonged relationship on the side, or cheated and produced a child, that's it. I find that inexcusable. 

    In cases of abuse, I wish every woman here who is being physically/emotionally abused would just get off of Cafemom, pack their shit, and leave. Not only are they doing a disservice to themselves, but they are harming their kids in unimaginable ways. In those cases, I mean it whole heartedly when I say "dump him".


  • Megan11587
    October 5, 2012 at 2:34 PM

     In cases of infedelity or abuse, one time is enough.  My bags will be packed that day.

  • merryvoice
    October 6, 2012 at 7:53 PM

    I think a lot of it has to do with self-worth. She has VERY low self-esteem and felt she deserved that treatment. 

    Quoting Metteba:


    Quoting merryvoice:

    I used to be one of the people who said that, but it's easier said than done. I had asked a friend of mine why she never left her husband who cheated constantly. I said that I would, but she made an excellent point. When you invest so much in a marriage or relationship, it's not that easy to give it up. You loved this person for however many years, you've built a life together. It made me think about my marriage and I realized that if he ever cheated, it wouldn't be as easy as it sounds to leave him. And of course I would want to try and work through it.

    Why would you want to stay with a man who fucks around on you?? your the one who looks like the fool.  *SMDH* We need to take a poll and see how many of these SAHMz are being cheated on...and forgive? LOL...wutta day!!


  • Jessiejem
    October 6, 2012 at 8:52 PM
    Some things are deal breakers for me, other things you can work through .
  • Dontchawishuknu
    October 7, 2012 at 8:52 PM

    I don't think you're off the beaten path on that.  But I also think it's a LOT easier to offer the advice than it is to take it.  Truthfully, I've recommended to two of my friends that they leave their SO's and even offered them a room in my home should they choose to do so.  Yet, I offer and leave it alone after that.  The old saying, "It's easier said than done." is true in these instances.  I believe some women mean it when they say they'd leave, but I certainly don't believe that ALL the women who say it mean it.

  • squeekers
    October 7, 2012 at 8:56 PM

     for those who havent walked a mile in the other's shoes, it's easy to say 'dump him' but they do not truly understand the difficulty.

  • meg4763
    by meg4763
    October 8, 2012 at 12:05 PM

    Honestly, I think women on here really just want to vent or feel supported by other women. I would never ask women or anyone I did not personally know whether or not I should leave my spouse. I think that is crazy, because no one can fully know the situation.

    Another thing, my DH and I have had really BAD problems in the past where we sought Godly and family counsel. It was amazing how even my relatives told me to get a divorce, but then months later once we had worked everything out, those same people praised us for not giving up! It was really hypocritical and crazy, but I feel like unless it is an extreme situation like violence or repeated cheating, then people should take their vows seriously. A marriage is always a work in progress and its usually never easy....for better or worse!

  • Mustlovelife
    October 8, 2012 at 12:22 PM

    Its easy to say dump him when either you are single or are in a bad relationship, But when its your HUSBAND dumping him should not even be an option, Divorce is something that should never be spoken of. As a Christian I have a clear understanding of Gods word and it cleary states that we should not divorce our spouses, One thing I am noticing is that now and days society is so quick to tell someone to leave there other half as if this is a normal behavior and I totally disagree. I depend on if it is your husband or just a boyfriend but if it is yur husband I always say fight for it. If you havent yet then give your life to God and allow him to help you through it. And if its a boyfriend and you really love him then work for it but. It depends on the situtaion and circumstances but if its over just little things any marriage or relationship can be restored.

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