Love & Marriage

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Kayla1211
Need advice please! Is it me or something else?
September 18, 2012 at 3:41 PM

My husband and I have been married almost a year. We have 2 children. My son from a previous relationship almost 4, and our daughter together almost 2. He works full time, and I stay at home with the kids, and watch another little one full time. My husband and I have always had a very great couple. I am his laid back, and he is my all out there, loud, goofy, center of attention. We have always been on the same page when it came to in the bed room. He has always wanted sex at least 4 times a week and it has been this way since the beginning. Sex has never been an issue with us, its something that each of us has always looked forward to once the kids are in bed. Our time.

Well recently my husband has started going to the gym with a friend of his (male) and has really gotten on this health kick. I'm happy for him that he is wanting to work out and is watching his health more. but now, well I just don't know. He gets up every morning and is at the gym at 5am, comes home takes a shower and goes to work. Gets home about 6pm. Doesn't really do much when he gets home, plays with the kids a little and thats it. I give the kids a bath and put them to bed. While I am putting the kids to bed he jumps in the shower and heads to bed himself. By the time I am done picking up and then get myself ready for bed hes asleep. He use to never go to bed before me. He always helped me pick up then we went to bed together.

What happen to the man that couldn't wait to get me in the bed? There have been times when I couldn't even get my PJs on good with out him trying to take them off, or if I want to sleep nude it was like his body just knew I was naked, and sleeping or not this man was awake and ready. We haven't been close in the bed for 2 weeks!! I have went to bed naked 4 different times and NOTHING! At first I thought well maybe he is tired, but now I just don't know. I don't think my husband is cheeting, but what is wrong? I am happy he is getting in shap, but at the same time I am very upset because every since he has been going to the gym we now have no sex life. I am loosing my mind, and am very frustrated. Please help! What can I do? Or should I just not do anything and wait it out.

Replies

  • ReadWriteLuv
    September 19, 2012 at 12:49 PM
    I'm going to disagree with all of the above statements. People are so quick to call "cheater, cheater, cheater", but quite frankly he may just be freaking exhausted. If I start a new diet and strenuous exercise regimen by 8pm every night after a work day, I'm passing out on the couch.

    You have to be direct with men sometimes, instead of worrying yourself to death and swimming in self doubt, just flat out tell him you want sex. You could always remind him that sex IS a work out and burns tons of calories. ;-)
  • KyrinM
    by KyrinM
    September 19, 2012 at 1:31 PM
    Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

    I'm going to disagree with all of the above statements. People are so quick to call "cheater, cheater, cheater", but quite frankly he may just be freaking exhausted. If I start a new diet and strenuous exercise regimen by 8pm every night after a work day, I'm passing out on the couch.

    You have to be direct with men sometimes, instead of worrying yourself to death and swimming in self doubt, just flat out tell him you want sex. You could always remind him that sex IS a work out and burns tons of calories. ;-)
    Actually, if you knew me well, you would know that cheating is NOT the first thing I think of. But sadly the changes she is seeing is too common for cheating for it not to be considered seriously. That said, I am sincerely hoping that he is simply tired from his new workout routine, but the only way for her to really find out it is to have a serious talk with him. But something is wrong, & they need to talk to each other to work it out.
  • Serenity7
    September 19, 2012 at 1:36 PM

     You can always talk to your husband about it

  • Kayla1211
    September 20, 2012 at 7:34 PM

    Thank you all so much for all of your advice, and I took each one very seriously. I still did not think my husband was cheating but thought, what the hell, I might as well check it out. I checked the gyms sign in sheet and there he was every morning with his friend, so that was true. Then checked to see who else was there and all males. Well names can be deceiving, so I asked my cousin who also attends there to confirm with her and she said they are all regulars their. their are only about 5 people in gym that early. Well I asked her to discreetly ask and look around and it seems he has been being truthful. So finally I just asked. LOL, well more like YOUR ASS BETTER TELL ME WHATS GOING ON! Well finally we talked and he said that he has been very tired and didn't realize it was bothering me so much. He actually thought it was kinda funny and liked that I wanted to have sex, and was mad because I wasn't getting any. He promised that he would be more considerate and said he was sorry for thinking of himself only. So I guess now we will just have to see. He did help me clean the kitchen, pick up the toys, and  get the kids in bed early. FINALLY!!! I'm a happy woman. :)

  • meganisamom
    September 20, 2012 at 11:54 PM
    I'm so happy for you!!! :)


    Quoting Kayla1211:

    Thank you all so much for all of your advice, and I took each one very seriously. I still did not think my husband was cheating but thought, what the hell, I might as well check it out. I checked the gyms sign in sheet and there he was every morning with his friend, so that was true. Then checked to see who else was there and all males. Well names can be deceiving, so I asked my cousin who also attends there to confirm with her and she said they are all regulars their. their are only about 5 people in gym that early. Well I asked her to discreetly ask and look around and it seems he has been being truthful. So finally I just asked. LOL, well more like YOUR ASS BETTER TELL ME WHATS GOING ON! Well finally we talked and he said that he has been very tired and didn't realize it was bothering me so much. He actually thought it was kinda funny and liked that I wanted to have sex, and was mad because I wasn't getting any. He promised that he would be more considerate and said he was sorry for thinking of himself only. So I guess now we will just have to see. He did help me clean the kitchen, pick up the toys, and  get the kids in bed early. FINALLY!!! I'm a happy woman. :)


  • MomToovey
    September 21, 2012 at 7:33 AM

     Have you tried talking to him? A schedule change requires adjustment and it seems he's just still trying to get into a rhythm. My DH is the same way. Sometimes I have to remind him that I'm part of his routine too! LOL

  • babyboy117
    September 21, 2012 at 7:37 AM
    Maybe he's just using all his energy at the gym? I would just talk to him about it.

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