Love & Marriage
Hi Ladies,
As a future Social Worker, I felt it would be good to have a post in the Love and Marriage group that has information about the different types of abuse - and yes, there is more than just physical abuse. I have listed some links below, and I hope that everyone will add more resources and /or stories so that we can keep it on top as a primary resource. Feel free to include resources and information about abuse within an adult relationship, child abuse/neglect, and elder abuse. It's not a fun topic, but I think it's vital that we have these resources available!
Here are a few links to get us started:
http://www.loveisrespect.org/is-this-abuse/types-of-abuse
http://www.asafeplacenh.org/abuse_types.html (be sure to donload the brochure!)
http://suite101.com/article/different-types-of-abuse-in-love-relationships-a12723
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/child_abuse_physical_emotional_sexual_neglect.htm
http://alzheimers.about.com/od/advocates/a/6_types_abuse.htm
Here's a link to a post in the Babies group for more info about domestic violence: http://www.cafemom.com/group/babies/forums/read/17029403/Dv_info?last#last
Replies
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I used to think I would never escape my marriage. I always feel terrible about myself when I was with him. He blamed me for him calling me names, hitting me, and hurting me sexually. The verbal and emotional torchure left me with no self esteem. I tried to leave but he always became perfect and loving and he made me feel guilty leaving. After he finally had a diagnosis of narcisssism, I realized he would never change. He has made it so hard to leave. Very hard. But I am sticking to it. 15 years with him. He took so much from me. Not anymore! -
what does bump mean?
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BUMP!
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Thank u keep up the good work. U are doing a good job helping others. Appreciate it . Everyone does need to know that kind of info. to help them. Keep up the good work. Hugs Dawna -
BUMP!
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bumplol
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Awesome for so many who are being abused!
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Hi I just read articles.A little about me. I am a stay at home mom. I have been for last 7 years. I read about financial abuse. I am in a situation where my husband and I did not have checking account for several years. My husband cashes the pay check and keeps all the money to himself. I do not know where he keeps it and he has control of money at all times.. like where it is spent and on what its spent on. It's been this way for years. I never know how much money we have. When I ask him how much money he has.. he just says he doesn't know. This upsets me. I asked my husband to open checking account with me. We might this week but I m not sure if we will cause he keeps putting it off. I have been looking for a job but I m not having any luck cause I did not work last 7 plus years. I am not sure what to do and I feel like I can not handle this situation much longer. I'm thinking about filing for divorce when I can.
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I am quoting this one because I think more people need to see this (maybe it should be added to the original post!
Quoting Dimples04:
I work in a Domestic Violence shelter and if you or someone you know is being abused you need to get help. ALSO REMEMBER THAT YOUR COMPUTER CAN TELL YOUR ABUSER YOUR PLANS, PLEASE BE CAREFUL AND DELETE ALL INFORMATION THAT YOU LOOK UP IN REFERENCE TO LEAVING OR GETTING HELP. Violence doesn't know any discrimination. If you or someone you know needs help PLEASE call the National domestic violence hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) whoever answers the line can direct you to a local shelter or answer any questions you may have. Any Shelter is there to help women and child (and some also help male victims) get the counseling and any other help that they need to get through the difficult time. Abuse can be Emotional abuse (name calling, putting someone down, or controlling who/what they see or do), Physical Abuse (hitting, kicking, biting, anything that causes physical pain), Sexual abuse (can also be from a spouse or otherwise intimate partner when it is a unwanted occurance.) Leaving your partner is the most dangerous time, wait until he/she is gone and then pack whatever you will need and just leave. Good Luck and Don't forget that help is never more than a phone call away 24 / 7 / 365.
* To delete your history: go to control panel, internet options, delete cookies, delete files, delete history. EVERYTIME!!
What is Domestic Violence?
Domestic violence can be defined as a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner. Abuse is physical, sexual, emotional, economic or psychological actions or threats of actions that influence another person.
You may be in an emotionally abusive relationship if your partner:
·Calls you names, insults you or continually criticizes you.
·Does not trust you and acts jealous or possessive.
·Tries to isolate you from family or friends.
·Monitors where you go, who you call and who you spend time with.
·Does not want you to work.
·Controls finances or refuses to share money.
·Punishes you by withholding affection.
·Expects you to ask permission.
·Threatens to hurt you, the children, your family or your pets.
·Humiliates you in any way.
You may be in a physically abusive relationship if your partner has ever:
·Damaged property when angry (thrown objects, punched walls, kicked doors, etc.).
·Pushed, slapped, bitten, kicked or Strangled you.
·Abandoned you in a dangerous or unfamiliar place.
·Scared you by driving recklessly.
·Used a weapon to threaten or hurt you.
·Forced you to leave your home.
·Trapped you in your home or kept you from leaving.
·Prevented you from calling police or seeking medical attention.
·Hurt your children.
·Used physical force in sexual situations.
You may be in a sexually abusive relationship if your partner:
·Views women as objects and believes in rigid gender roles.
·Accuses you of cheating or is often jealous of your outside relationships.
·Wants you to dress in a sexual way.
·Insults you in sexual ways or calls you sexual names.
·Has ever forced or manipulated you into to having sex or performing sexual acts.
·Held you down during sex.
·Demanded sex when you were sick, tired or after beating you.
·Hurt you with weapons or objects during sex.
·Involved other people in sexual activities with you.
·Ignored your feelings regarding sex.
Quoting aimesnyc:
Hi Ladies,
As a future Social Worker, I felt it would be good to have a post in the Love and Marriage group that has information about the different types of abuse - and yes, there is more than just physical abuse. I have listed some links below, and I hope that everyone will add more resources and /or stories so that we can keep it on top as a primary resource. Feel free to include resources and information about abuse within an adult relationship, child abuse/neglect, and elder abuse. It's not a fun topic, but I think it's vital that we have these resources available!
Here are a few links to get us started:
http://www.loveisrespect.org/is-this-abuse/types-of-abuse
http://www.asafeplacenh.org/abuse_types.html (be sure to donload the brochure!)
http://suite101.com/article/different-types-of-abuse-in-love-relationships-a12723
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/child_abuse_physical_emotional_sexual_neglect.htm
http://alzheimers.about.com/od/advocates/a/6_types_abuse.htm
Here's a link to a post in the Babies group for more info about domestic violence: http://www.cafemom.com/group/babies/forums/read/17029403/Dv_info?last#last
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I was sexually abused as a child by an uncle AND a sibling so I grew up thinking sexual and physical abuse was normal.
My first relationship became physically abusive two years into it, I stayed 7 years for the kids. I was afraid of losing the kids because he came from money and I was right. Even with police reports the judge awarded my ex custody because I did not have a stable home when I left with nothing but the kids :-(
My current husband is mentally, emotionally and financially abusive. The first time I tried leaving him he attempted suicide so I came back. Unfortunately I am still here and he hasn't changed. I am planning on leaving again but I learned a lesson from my first relationship: have a plan!
I am trying to work to save money to have a way out for DD and I. Another thing I found out after the fact is if I would have went to a shelter or to seek help from the domestic violence people I would have had help in fighting my ex. I would have had a place to live that was stable and I wouldn't have lost my kids. Seek help!