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MamaTabb
a little extreme?
January 7, 2011 at 12:27 PM
Christopher and I have been married for 2 years come May, but have been together since I was 15..so almost 6 years :) well about 6 months into our marriage I caught him in what he called "a verbal & visual" affair. He was sending pictures to girls back home(we are military & live 1000 miles away from home), and receiving them back..and it was hard because he didn't start this until after I miscarried. We split for about a month, I went back home and awaited the divorce papers I knew he had. Instead he appologized and I came back. Its taken me a long time to forgive him and give him an ounce of trust.
He knows I don't trust him, but we've been together since high school so we've tried to just live in the now, and not be angry.
Well this week I have caught him, once again in a verbal and visual affair. To me this is cheating, BIG TIME. Especially since this is what he has done in the past. I knew he had been talking to a girl from home, but things were so good between us that I figured she was just a friend...well I saw the messages (which he had over 200)..and confronted him. He somehow turned it into my fault and said it was about time I take up for myself...that's all he wanted...I don't understand that but its not even bout me...its about our 5 month old daughter.
We had a conversation and I told him that he didn't have any real friends, friends would respect the fact that he is married with a family. Friends who were true friends would not only talk to him when they broke up with their so's. Friends would have been here for you when you joined the military and had to move away...instead all of his friends ditched him and only talked to him when they needed some form of "booty".
Well I knew the girl still texted him after I had asked him to tell her to stop and for him to just ignore her..so I went onto our onnline account for our phones and blocked her number. From what vzw online says, he won't be able to call or text her and vice versa. He doesn't know and I don't care if. He eventually finds out...

Do you think I went overboard by blocking her? Would you block the others who do the same thing? Or would that make it obvious that I blocked them?

Replies

  • VintageWife
    January 7, 2011 at 12:31 PM

     HAHA...I know everyone is gonna say that is wrong, but I think it is funny! I understand they are gonna say you are his wife and not his mother, but he did say he wanted you to stick up for yourself! That is just funny :)

    BTW...sign up for counseling from the chaplain and for a couples retreat.

  • SnowboardMama4
    January 7, 2011 at 12:32 PM

    Hell yes I would have done the same thing! I can't believe he did it again... What were him & this girl saying to each other? *hugs* I'm sorry mama, I don't know how i'd deal in a situation like that.  :(

  • LADYBUGZ909
    January 7, 2011 at 12:34 PM

    I think you did the right thing, you do whatever it takes to save your relationship if he is upset too bad. If he finds another way to communicate with her then honestly I would just let him go. This girl needs to get her ass kicked for messaging him knowing damn well that he is married. Don't feel bad I for blocking her out, I would have done the same thing.

    Wendy

  • BonitaM
    by BonitaM
    January 7, 2011 at 12:37 PM

    I don't think you went overboard and I would have blocked everyone he was doing this with or I thought he was doing this with.   It will probably cause a fight and I hope you are prepared for that.  I've actually done something like this to my husband when we first got married but his actions weren't as bad..or at least I hope not.

  • Love2BaMom77
    January 7, 2011 at 12:37 PM

    yep hubby is a bone head and you did the right thing.  If he confronts you about it and says hey I haven't gotten a call/message/text from so and so lately then you can tell him what you did and if he tells you that you had no right then you should tell him that has his wife and a woman who is standing up for her right to be respected you took matters in to your own hands since he feels the need to cheat and lie and break promises to you. 

  • KimberlyMKasten
    January 7, 2011 at 12:42 PM

    I blocked a number on my ex's phone when he cheated on me....it only helped for a while because he figured out pretty quickly what i had done.

  • akgraff
    by akgraff
    January 7, 2011 at 12:44 PM


    Quoting Love2BaMom77:

    yep hubby is a bone head and you did the right thing.  If he confronts you about it and says hey I haven't gotten a call/message/text from so and so lately then you can tell him what you did and if he tells you that you had no right then you should tell him that has his wife and a woman who is standing up for her right to be respected you took matters in to your own hands since he feels the need to cheat and lie and break promises to you. 


  • Ohio.SAHMof2
    January 7, 2011 at 12:45 PM

     I think you did the right thing. After my DH (before we were married) had an affair with someone I blocked everything I could from him BUT he still worked with her so I COULDN'T block that. Thank goodness she got fired eventually! I think you did the only thing that was in your control to do!

  • Mrs.DeRoberts
    January 7, 2011 at 12:51 PM
    I would have done the same thing and have done similar things... Bit sometimes I wonder if I am trying to control the situation instead of letting him makes decisions therefore staying in a relationship bc I control it. ( if that makes sense. ) it's a hard place to be in. We have had similar problems & I know how much it hurts.
  • JHjelle827
    January 7, 2011 at 12:53 PM

    i would have done the same thing :)

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