Jessicamarquez
opinion?
January 27, 2013 at 3:05 AM
SO told me tonight I could get a full eight hours! Guess whose awake doing the night shift me!!!! I appreciate the nap he let me get at the beginning of the night and its not that I don't want to take care of the baby but, I need to take care of myself too don't I? Feeling selfish a little disappointed blah what do you think?

Replies

  • Newmom.com12
    January 27, 2013 at 4:47 PM

    I'm a SAHM and my hubby works 2 jobs I also nurse and I wish I could get a full night of sleep!! He doesn't flinch when my son cries. I wish I could get a night off and sleep through the night I also pump but let him tell it it won't b like this forever!!! Men


    Quoting christineT79:



    Quoting Jessicamarquez:

    I'm in the same boat and I feel guilty asking for help since he has been at work but his shift is 12 and ours is around the clock


    Quoting christineT79:

    I understand. I haven had a single night off in over 5 months straight. My hubby dosnt really help me at all with the baby. He works alot so when he's home he's usually sleeping. It sucks.


    That's how I feel too. My hubby works alot & I'm a SAHM so I feel like the baby is my job, it just sucks that it's 24/7. Plus I breastfeed so he can't feed the baby so I can sleep or take a break. There's really no way around it :(




  • Newmom.com12
    January 27, 2013 at 4:48 PM

    It's not selfish your tired and he should keep his end of the bargain they forget we didn't make the baby alone!!

  • christineT79
    January 27, 2013 at 4:59 PM

     


    Quoting Newmom.com12:

    I'm a SAHM and my hubby works 2 jobs I also nurse and I wish I could get a full night of sleep!! He doesn't flinch when my son cries. I wish I could get a night off and sleep through the night I also pump but let him tell it it won't b like this forever!!! Men

     

    Quoting christineT79:

     

     

    Quoting Jessicamarquez:

    I'm in the same boat and I feel guilty asking for help since he has been at work but his shift is 12 and ours is around the clock


    Quoting christineT79:

    I understand. I haven had a single night off in over 5 months straight. My hubby dosnt really help me at all with the baby. He works alot so when he's home he's usually sleeping. It sucks.


    That's how I feel too. My hubby works alot & I'm a SAHM so I feel like the baby is my job, it just sucks that it's 24/7. Plus I breastfeed so he can't feed the baby so I can sleep or take a break. There's really no way around it :(

     

     

     

    My hubby dosnt even sleep with me & the baby! He sleeps in our spare bedroom so he can SLEEP. We just had our first baby after being together for 7 years & married for 3. This has been a horrible experience for me. I love my baby to death but I seriously feel like I never want to have any more.

     

  • Newmom.com12
    January 27, 2013 at 11:04 PM

    I feel the same way!! This is something we did together buti have to do it alone... I always said I didn't want children but I let him talk me into it I love my so dearly but I wish his father was more supportive it's not fair!! So what you work I do to raising our child but they don't look at it that way I can barely get a moment to myself.. My son is 4 months and he has given him a bath 1 time when he's wet he tells me!! The life of a single married mother!! It makes it harder on us mentally when we have no peace of mind time

    Quoting christineT79:



    Quoting Newmom.com12:

    I'm a SAHM and my hubby works 2 jobs I also nurse and I wish I could get a full night of sleep!! He doesn't flinch when my son cries. I wish I could get a night off and sleep through the night I also pump but let him tell it it won't b like this forever!!! Men


    Quoting christineT79:



    Quoting Jessicamarquez:

    I'm in the same boat and I feel guilty asking for help since he has been at work but his shift is 12 and ours is around the clock


    Quoting christineT79:

    I understand. I haven had a single night off in over 5 months straight. My hubby dosnt really help me at all with the baby. He works alot so when he's home he's usually sleeping. It sucks.


    That's how I feel too. My hubby works alot & I'm a SAHM so I feel like the baby is my job, it just sucks that it's 24/7. Plus I breastfeed so he can't feed the baby so I can sleep or take a break. There's really no way around it :(




    My hubby dosnt even sleep with me & the baby! He sleeps in our spare bedroom so he can SLEEP. We just had our first baby after being together for 7 years & married for 3. This has been a horrible experience for me. I love my baby to death but I seriously feel like I never want to have any more.




  • christineT79
    January 28, 2013 at 11:31 AM

     


    Quoting Newmom.com12:

    I feel the same way!! This is something we did together buti have to do it alone... I always said I didn't want children but I let him talk me into it I love my so dearly but I wish his father was more supportive it's not fair!! So what you work I do to raising our child but they don't look at it that way I can barely get a moment to myself.. My son is 4 months and he has given him a bath 1 time when he's wet he tells me!! The life of a single married mother!! It makes it harder on us mentally when we have no peace of mind time

    Quoting christineT79:

     

     

    Quoting Newmom.com12:

    I'm a SAHM and my hubby works 2 jobs I also nurse and I wish I could get a full night of sleep!! He doesn't flinch when my son cries. I wish I could get a night off and sleep through the night I also pump but let him tell it it won't b like this forever!!! Men

     

    Quoting christineT79:

     

     

    Quoting Jessicamarquez:

    I'm in the same boat and I feel guilty asking for help since he has been at work but his shift is 12 and ours is around the clock


    Quoting christineT79:

    I understand. I haven had a single night off in over 5 months straight. My hubby dosnt really help me at all with the baby. He works alot so when he's home he's usually sleeping. It sucks.


    That's how I feel too. My hubby works alot & I'm a SAHM so I feel like the baby is my job, it just sucks that it's 24/7. Plus I breastfeed so he can't feed the baby so I can sleep or take a break. There's really no way around it :(

     

     

     

    My hubby dosnt even sleep with me & the baby! He sleeps in our spare bedroom so he can SLEEP. We just had our first baby after being together for 7 years & married for 3. This has been a horrible experience for me. I love my baby to death but I seriously feel like I never want to have any more.

     

     

     

    My baby is 5 months old & my hubby has never given her a bath! He changes a diaper mabey once a week. On the weekends when he's off he sleeps, taking 3 hour naps in the afternoon & I'm lucky to take a shower once every other day! What really kills me is that we were trying to concieve for years! It took us 2 years to concieve her so this is somthing we both really wanted. I don't get it. I'm so heart broken over all of this & I think about leaving quite a bit. The only thing that would suck about leaving is I would have to go back to work & put her in daycare & I really dont want to do that. I'm hoping to god this is just an adjustment period because I really dont want to end my marriage.

     

  • jobberwocky
    January 28, 2013 at 2:01 PM
    I had to finally stand up to him and say hey I need help. When you are home you need to help. You work 8 hr days with 2 days off. I work 24/7. I need you to get up with him during the night on one of your nights off and I need you to get up with him in the morning one day a week so I can get some rest.

    It has helped a lot. On his nights that he's on duty I do have to wake him up when my son wakes up but he will go to him as long as I wake him up.
  • ronvot
    by ronvot
    January 28, 2013 at 2:35 PM
    Guys don't hear or see it like we mommies do; just wake him. You need rest too and he wanted to give it to you; if you don't allow him to help then he'll assume you don't want/need it and will stop offering.

    I'm a SAHM for the most part (I do work but I have a weird job so that I may work a few months on and then have a few months off and right now I've been off a year). DH works 12 hour days, six days a week, and when he gets home at night he takes over baby/toddler duty. DS will be right in the same room and doing something he shouldn't or crying for a drink or whatever and DH is tuned into the TV and won't even see it. I don't take care of it, I say DH's name and point at DS and he jumps up and deals with it. If DS and I are cuddling and watching TV or reading a book and he has a dirty diaper, I let DH know and he changes it. DH is SD to DS too BTW. But DS's BD is never around and I've seen how my friends' husbands are and men just really don't have the same radar we do when it comes to children. That does not mean that they don't want to help though.

    You need to make him a part of taking care of your child/ren for your sanity and health, for his bonding with your child, and because he can. We mothers give our bodies and souls to our children before they are even born; motherhood is as physically, mentally, and emotionally draining as it is infinitely rewarding. Your DH works all day, true, but he does not give that much of himself to his occupation and he can help out when he is home.
  • MomToovey
    January 28, 2013 at 4:51 PM

     I agree with this. Good luck!

    Quoting jobberwocky:

    Wake him up and say. Thank you for giving me the chance to sleep. Can you please go take care of the baby so I can get that sleep?

     

  • erikadi
    by erikadi
    January 29, 2013 at 11:06 AM

    You do need to take care of yourself. He needs to understand that there needs to be turn taking so that both of you can get the sleep you need.

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