I saw this in The Stir - Do you cosleep with your child/ren?
If anyone asked me if I would still be co-sleeping with my babies by the time they reached 3, I'd say no. I realize my twins are technically no longer babies at 3, but there are ways they still are. My son actually prefers his crib. Yes, I said crib -- 3-year-old in crib. He never climbs out, and sleeps really well. Why mess with a good thing? Also a good thing: My daughter co-sleeping with me and my husband.
It works for us. More specifically it works for our daughter who just doesn't like sleeping alone. My mom tells me I didn't like sleeping alone either when I was a kid. My dad used to work nights and I remember crawling into bed with her on and off up until I was 12. That may sound horrifying to some, but for me it was comforting.
My daughter never really had to sleep alone -- she was in my womb with her brother, they both slept in the same co-sleeper next to our bed for the first six months, and after a short stint in her own crib, Pippi often ended up back in our bed. At first my husband and I disagreed on co-sleeping -- he wanted the kids in their cribs. But he came around. It's precious to wake up in the morning and see them cuddling.
We did try to end co-sleeping. When we first moved from a small Brooklyn apartment to a house with real bedrooms, we got the kids twin-sized beds and set up both of their rooms with everything they loved thinking this was it! My son, often clingy during the day, loves to sleep alone. Though if you count the blanket he's had since birth, select cars, and the Spider Man doll that must accompany him in the crib, he really isn't "alone." But not my daughter.
At first, Pippi took a liking to her big girl bed along with the cute firefly bedding we bought her and like magic, we thought it was the end. She slept the whole night through in her own room for the first week. Then it was a few nights a week; and now we're back to every night in the family bed.
Instead of trying to get her to stay in her room, we just upgraded to a king size bed so we can all sleep more comfortably. If you share a bed with your kids, you know how they turn gymnastic in their sleep. And in case you're wondering, my husband and I don't rely on our bed to be intimate. Co-sleeping doesn't have to kill your sex life.
Am I holding her back from learning to be more independent? I don't think so. She's only this age once. And even if she's sleeping in our bed on and off until she's 12, she's still only a kid once. I want to cherish every moment of that ... even the sleeping ones. There will be that day when she's moving out, getting her own apartment outside my womb (and bed), and her brother will one day no longer be sleeping in a crib. Hopefully.
I'm not kicking her out because I remember how I felt at 12 and wanting to sleep with my mom. It was comfort. It was security. I felt safe. No boogie man was going to get me with my mom around. Unreasonable? Maybe. It's just how I felt. Sleeping alone in my bed was cold, lonely, and scary. And that was me at 12. Pippi is 3. A baby. Okay a toddler, but still my baby. We went from a tiny house to one with halls and stairs. That's a big change. And frankly, I love having her next to me. It's comfort.
Do you co-sleep with your toddler? How does it work for you?
by busymom64064December 23, 2012 at 3:58 PMNo
by mhmommaDecember 23, 2012 at 4:06 PM
Nope I believe kids need to sleep on their own. When the kids are sick they are welcome to come in bed with us. Once they feel better they go back to their bed.
by TerriCDecember 23, 2012 at 5:45 PMWe did for a while when the kids were younger, but finally had to get them in their own beds. Now, they have their own rooms but they sleep together every night in one room or the other and I am fine with that. :-)
December 23, 2012 at 7:35 PMNo
December 24, 2012 at 12:32 AMMy dd recently turned two. She has a crib in our room,nearly in arm's reach but she doesn't sleep through the night in it consistently. Some nights, especially when she's not feeling well, she just wants Mommy & Daddy. Our 4 year old has always had sleep issues, he still doesn't consistently sleep through the night. Some nights he ends up in our bed, like last night. Oddly enough our 5 year old was never a co-sleeper as a baby/toddler. At the beginning of September he started a phase where he was getting in our bed every single night. It lasted two months and then he went back to sleeping in his own bed all night every night. Sometimes kids just need the extra comfort at night. And with #4 on the way, we need to follow the writer's example and get a bigger bed.
Dd slept with me till she was 2 1/2... Being prego wasn't working with co sleeping. Ds has slept with me since birth. Tried the pack and play beside the bed but it was a pain. Sometimes dd comes back to our bed. Sometimes she wants mommy or daddy to sleep with her. My attitude is whatever makes them sleep so I can.
by sktrowbDecember 24, 2012 at 12:38 AMGo for a Cali king... So much room
My dd recently turned two. She has a crib in our room,nearly in arm's reach but she doesn't sleep through the night in it consistently. Some nights, especially when she's not feeling well, she just wants Mommy & Daddy. Our 4 year old has always had sleep issues, he still doesn't consistently sleep through the night. Some nights he ends up in our bed, like last night. Oddly enough our 5 year old was never a co-sleeper as a baby/toddler. At the beginning of September he started a phase where he was getting in our bed every single night. It lasted two months and then he went back to sleeping in his own bed all night every night. Sometimes kids just need the extra comfort at night. And with #4 on the way, we need to follow the writer's example and get a bigger bed.
by Jenn8604December 24, 2012 at 12:40 AMMy 4 yr old ds still sleeps w me. I see no problem w it. like the author i too think he is still a baby. he may be 4, but its still a baby. its comforting for him to have me with him. if i had nightmares i slept in my parents bed even as a teenager, or if one of my siblings was already there i slept on their floor. just being near ur parents makes bad dreams stay away.
by TigerofMuDecember 24, 2012 at 4:53 PM
I always worried that I'd roll over on the baby, so except for the occasional drifting off in exhaustion, no, I didn't really cosleep. When I was a single parent she slept in my bed if she had nightmares or if it was really cold. We've still been known to do that if they have nightmares.
by tennisgalDecember 24, 2012 at 5:15 PM
My three year old came in to sleep with us around 3am every morning for a few months until the new baby was born. At this point he was really too big and I was quite uncomfortable. We coslept when he was a baby so I assume it was just comforting to him...not really a big deal.
We cosleep with all of our babies and haven't had difficulty getting them into their own beds.