Healthy Moms

Cafe AmyS
What do you do to get a little privacy?
October 8, 2012 at 12:16 PM

I saw this in The Stir - Can you relate?

10 Desperate Lengths Moms Go to for Privacy

Posted by Jill Smokler on October 8, 2012 

I took a conference call last week on the toilet. Actually, it gets worse: I took a conference call while standing on the toilet and whispering so my kids wouldn't be able to find me. When they did, I muted the phone so I could hiss, "Get out of here THIS MINUTE and leave me ALONE." Except that I didn't actually press mute.

Oh, the joys of working from home.

Fortunately, I'm not the only mother who has resorted to such lows for a little privacy. Here are some of my favorite Scary Mommy Confessions on the subject ...

1. Figured out a way to get some time to myself. I went in my room, closed the door, and hung a sign that read, "Do not enter, mom is naked." Worked like a charm.

2. I can hear little people looking for me. I am hiding in the closet for some me time.

3. I love my husband dearly, but some days I think it would be good to get a divorce so we could split custody and I could actually have time to myself for a change.

4. I'm supposed to be working out. I got dressed and drove to the gym. I'm sitting in the parking lot playing Angry Birds. This is the only alone time I get. I just don't have it in me today.

More from The Stir25 All-Time Favorite Mommy Confessions

5. I love playing hide and seek with my children. They still haven't caught on to the fact that I hide in a different bed every time. Best way ever to sneak in a cat nap.

6. I pretend to have IBS, but really, I just sit in the bathroom endlessly playing on my iPhone. Periodically, I flush the toilet and grunt.

7. I gave up privacy the day I became a mother. I mourn it every single day.

8. I go to great lengths to get away from my children. I am currently typing this while hiding out on my son's bunk bed, literally under the blanket.

9. I wear headphones almost constantly. "SORRY, KIDS! I CAN'T HEAR YOU!!!"

10. The real prep for motherhood was the dump I took on the delivery table with my first daughter. Haven't gone to the bathroom without an audience since.

Replies

  • AleaKat
    by AleaKat
    October 8, 2012 at 12:21 PM
    #3 actually sounds nice though I'd never actually do it . We have friends who are both divorced and they set up for their exs to get each others kids at the same time do they get together time. Must be nice .
    Luckily my hubby can be wonderful he replaced our stand up shower with a whirlpool tub with jets and all and about once a week I get to soak and relax while he watches them
  • Melissa823
    October 8, 2012 at 12:45 PM

    Eh, I get all this stuff...It's just joking, and we don't get a lot of privacy...I just don't like the tone. I don't know. I know we all love our kids and it's all in fun, but for crying out loud - this is what we signed up for, right? It's just a way of life now and they'll be grown up and married so fast...I don't miss a minute of time they want to spend with me - even if I'm on the toilet :) But, I do like my breaks too - so I do get it.

  • SandraJo
    October 8, 2012 at 12:52 PM
    I hide in our storage closet and listen to Pandora on my phone with headphones.
  • reneawesley
    October 8, 2012 at 1:55 PM
    My girls would just walk in on me with #1. Actually none of those would slow them down. I run errands by myself for a break.
  • Alyson121
    October 8, 2012 at 6:01 PM

    Yeah, there's no such thing as "privacy" with children around. 

  • darbyakeep45
    October 8, 2012 at 6:39 PM

    Yep, totally agree here!

    Quoting Alyson121:

    Yeah, there's no such thing as "privacy" with children around. 


  • darbyakeep45
    October 8, 2012 at 6:40 PM

    I totally see where you're coming from...I agree with you:)

    Quoting Melissa823:

    Eh, I get all this stuff...It's just joking, and we don't get a lot of privacy...I just don't like the tone. I don't know. I know we all love our kids and it's all in fun, but for crying out loud - this is what we signed up for, right? It's just a way of life now and they'll be grown up and married so fast...I don't miss a minute of time they want to spend with me - even if I'm on the toilet :) But, I do like my breaks too - so I do get it.


  • chrissyof5
    October 8, 2012 at 9:22 PM

    Well unlike everyone else I found this to be hilarious! I have five kids. I can POOP withour one of them up my BUTT almost litterally. Not even the gasly FUMES keeps them away.


    Yes yes yes, we all ove our kids we all signed up for it yada yada but yall all know you need a moments of peace. 

    Even if that peace is once they all go to bed. 

  • mypbandj
    Jen
    October 8, 2012 at 10:33 PM
    So funny! Actually made me LOL.
  • HIJKLM
    by HIJKLM
    October 8, 2012 at 10:35 PM
    #6... Yup I do that

Healthy Moms

Active Posts in All Groups
More Active Posts
Featured Posts in All Groups
More Featured Posts
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN