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Anonymous
Leave it in the past already!!
by Anonymous
April 16 at 11:04 PM
... Is what my husband said to me because I had to deal with an emotional abusive mother and sister for years and I talk about it whenever It's bothering me, the only reason why it's a problem now and bothering me so much is because I had to move in with them in December and it's all coming back to me, I'm starting to feel like I need to really stop talking about it and get over it. Everyone I tried Explaining my story to never seem to get it or just feel like I should get over it, I'm beginning to think it's just me.... My husband said "life is tough, get over it and move on, I'm tired of hearing you talk about them"

Replies

  • leahbeah143
    April 16 at 11:22 PM
    Hugs it's hard for people to understand if they haven't been through it themselves
  • Mackiesgg
    April 17 at 12:55 AM

    It is easy for others to say get over it but I am sure that they have things in their past hidden, that maybe they don't talk about it. I didn't talk about my rape for almost 18 years. My eldest found out about it because we were having a safety talk with my grandgirls and I told them during our talk. I had to go tell him about it before the kids innocently brought it up. I felt he needed to hear it from me. I have talked about things that bother me over and over. I do feel better with a therapist to talk with, she gives me a different insight.

  • srltb143
    April 17 at 1:18 AM

    this    

    Quoting leahbeah143: Hugs it's hard for people to understand if they haven't been through it themselves


  • srltb143
    April 17 at 1:19 AM

    I think it was a really insensitive thing for him to say to you.  I'm so sorry.  Have you thought about talking to a counselor so that you can hopefully work through some of it?

  • lyrick24
    April 17 at 5:42 AM
    Obviously it is bothering you. I'm sorry no one understands and that your husband doesn't understand. I have an emotionally abusive daughter and it really hurts. Are you in therapy for this? I started therapy and it is helping. Sometimes it helps to have someone to talk to and listen to you who is not going to criticize you.
  • happyolechimp
    April 17 at 5:58 AM
    im sorry...that's how most people are too...they want to get away from you if you try and tell them anything....but a husband needs to be different...
    if you clam up...pretend...smiles....pretend...everything else is okay...too much...
    ny husband said that....once....if he can't help me by shutting his mouth when im in broken state...then...I'll share...NOTHING..with him...
    nothing...
  • lucy164
    by lucy164
    April 17 at 7:13 AM

    Your husband and everyone else is wrong.  The emotional scars left by your mother and sister don't go away.  I am in the exact situation as you.  My mother and sister are toxic to me and my well being.  I finally figured out what I have to do.  I have no contact with them what so ever.  This has given me peace and happiness.  I realize that you can't do the same right now but I would try to engage with them as little as possible until you are able to move out.  Since your husband doesn't want to hear about it, do you have a therapist?  That would be a great way for you to get support and be able to vent.

  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
    April 17 at 7:54 AM
    I will be getting a therapist soon but it would be nice to get a little support out of him, he has a good relationship with his mother and thinks grown people should just move on with their past regardless of what it was. He always either walk away or say nothing at all...thanks :-)

    Quoting Mackiesgg:

    It is easy for others to say get over it but I am sure that they have things in their past hidden, that maybe they don't talk about it. I didn't talk about my rape for almost 18 years. My eldest found out about it because we were having a safety talk with my grandgirls and I told them during our talk. I had to go tell him about it before the kids innocently brought it up. I felt he needed to hear it from me. I have talked about things that bother me over and over. I do feel better with a therapist to talk with, she gives me a different insight.

  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
    April 17 at 8:16 AM
    Yes I will be getting a therapist very soon, i`ve just been having some insurance issues... Thanks so much for understanding, Its so draining, I just want to go!...I will try my best to stay away from them as much as possible...:-)

    Quoting lucy164:

    Your husband and everyone else is wrong.  The emotional scars left by your mother and sister don't go away.  I am in the exact situation as you.  My mother and sister are toxic to me and my well being.  I finally figured out what I have to do.  I have no contact with them what so ever.  This has given me peace and happiness.  I realize that you can't do the same right now but I would try to engage with them as little as possible until you are able to move out.  Since your husband doesn't want to hear about it, do you have a therapist?  That would be a great way for you to get support and be able to vent.

  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
    April 17 at 8:17 AM
    Thank you! :-)

    Quoting leahbeah143: Hugs it's hard for people to understand if they haven't been through it themselves

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