Depression Support Center

Anonymous
UPDATED 4/4 6PM IN RED. Long History With Depression/Anxiety, New to Group. Question about Med. Need Suggestions.
by Anonymous
March 28, 2013 at 6:17 PM

4/4 UPDATE: I WANTED TO THANK ALL YOU LADIES AGAIN, AND LET YOU KNOW THAT I SAW MY DOCTOR YESTERDAY AND SHE UP MY DOSAGE OF EFFEXOR. SHE SAID IF THAT DOES'T HELP IN A MONTH OR SO, WE CAN UP MY DOSE OF ABILIFY AS WELL. SHE DIDN'T WANT TO CHANGE BOTH AT ONE TIME, WHICH I AGREE WITH. I AM HOPING THIS HELPS. HONESTLY FINDING THIS GROUP MAKES ME FEEL A LITTLE LESS ALONE AS WELL, SO THANK YOU ALL AGAIN FOR SUCH HONEST SUPPORT.

I UPDATE: POSTED BELOW BUT DIDN'T REALIZE I AM STILL ANONYMOUS. I AM LAURA AKA NEWOLDMOMMY.

  am new to the group but not to depression/anxiety.  I am 40 years old, been married for 10 years, and we have a fantastic  3 year old little girl. I have been battling depression & anxiety since my mid 20's. I have better and worse times, but have never felt like my pre-depression state, except for once. So I have 2 questions about meds,and could really use advice, in a rough patch right now.

So over the years I have been on Zoloft, Celexa, Wellbutrin, Effexor, Paxil, Abilify, Trazadone, & valium. All help/helped for a while, then they stop. The only time I ever felt like my old self was the 1 time I was on pain med after my c/sec. I never (like 2 times a year) drink, and I have never done drugs. But when I left the hospital I was NOT on anti-depressants (went off for pregnancy), but i DID go home with a RX for 5/325 percocet. Forget physical pain,  I could live with that, but even a 1/2 of a pain pill in the am and the other 1/2 in the pm made me mentally feel "normal." Nothing I have ever been on has come close to how the small dose of pain meds made me feel. Well of course I ran out and that was that. Went back on Antidepressants/anxiety meds with the usual "less than decent feeling". I goto therapy and discussed my experience with my therapist. All I got was that is not a way to treat depression and NO I don't know of anything non-narcotic that you could try.

So, can anyone tell me:

1. Is there a depression/axiety med out there that helped you that I haven't tried?

2. Has anyone else experienced the same effect from a pain med?

I JUST want to feel like my old decently happy self. All suggestions are welcome. Thanks.

Replies

  • lancet98
    March 29, 2013 at 8:08 PM

     

    Whatever depression or anxiety you have, doesn't show in the detail and thoroughness of your reply, nor in your level of insight!   Nice work!


    Quoting Anonymous:

    Thank you SO much for taking the time to offer so much good advice and information.What i have been diagnosed with (i will assume it is accurate for now) is Major Depressive Disorder and Severe Anxiety (especially when forced to be in large rooms full of people, like big family diners). And I did forget to list one med that I believe you mentioned for the anxiety.

    Right now I am taking (and I am EXTREMELY faithful in taking my meds, same time, every single day) 1. 150mg of Effexor Er, 2. Abilify 2mg, 3. Buspar 2x a day, don't remember exact dose and not home right now, Trazadone 100mg, and Lorazapam 1mg at night. I have been on this regimine along with therapy 2x a month for a little over 6 months now.

    Well your doctor is definitely taking your concerns seriously.   You do have an anxiety medication, and overall this is a very well-informed plan of attack for more stubborn anxiety and depression.

    Changes that I cannot seem to overcome that were once not only easy but enjoyabe....(I mean I can do them now when forced, but everyone, including me, knows I am freaking out and feel like a caged animal) include things like being in a room with a lot of people (more than 4 or 5), lots of noise and hustle bustle from crowds, being "in charge" of a project or plans (I used to teach school in NYC and take hundreds of teenagers on field trips in manhattan, now I can't plan for 8 tickets to the circus for our family & my daughter's bday party with only 4 other children and their parents just about drove me very dangerous thoughts of how I could hurt myself just to escape the scene, wishing I could stay in bed for days and be left alone, wanting to hide, not ever wanting to talk on the phone to anyone....

    You felt like that and you still got this done?   You are my new hero :)   - you should be giving ME advice, LOL!

    it is painful just to speak to my husband on the phone....in person no problem, but have a phone issue. Wanting to get away, anywhere on a vacation....now that is something I LOVE to do and don't get to do because of our finances. But the idea of escaping "real life" pulls on my daily. Leaving the house alone. I want to be left alone but at home. My husband will say, go out, shop, enjoy the day, and i think 'are you crazy?" I don't want to leave the house.

    No mild variety anxiety there, that is the real thing - ouch.

    The catalysts that brought on most of these problems for me go back to 9/11. My 1st husband died in the tower while I was in lockdown with my students (3 of which lost parents that day), and then 3 months later my father (whom I love WAY more than my mom...it was just always that way, not that I don't love my mom) died very suddenly of heart failure on Easter Sunday. My dad and I have the same bday, March 1st, and Easter the year he died 2002 was on March 31st, the same date it falls on this year. So March is always an impossible month for me, and this year makes it worse. The FAMILY wants Easter diner. I want to lay in bed all day and nobody does or will admit to "getting my feeling". I am just supposed to "suck it up and move on"

    It IS hard for other people to understand.   The only way they can conceptualize what's happening to you, is by comparing it to their experience with very mild anxiety that responds completely to home remedies.

    You'd be surprised to know that sometimes the less sympathetic approach actually reduces symptoms and disability over the long haul....my aunt once told her doctor she wished the family would take better care of her when she had her anxiety and her doctor said, 'God forbid you get what you wish for'...lol....

    Some people are not very understanding because they just don't have any experience that they can relate it to.  Others do this because they sense in you a strength, and they believe you will triumph over this thing.  

    So those are my meds and those are the major issues I have, add in racing thoughts, and a mind that I can't get to shut off ever...."there is a line in a 3 doors down songs that says "and I can't get myself to go away" That is how I feel. I want tHIS me to go away.

    Um...hold up there....racing thoughts?   Yeah?

    Hmm.   Has anyone ever suggested you have some symptoms of bipolar disorder?   I don't think that would mean major changes to your prescriptions, just curious.

    I had a period of anxiety after my mother was killed and I would wake up like that in the middle of the night - I wanted to say, 'brain, would you please shut the hell up so I can get some sleep?'   It was awful.   So I did not have it as severely as you do but I can imagine what you go through.

    Animals bring me joy....we have 20 acres of land and we have dogs, cats, goats, chickens, peacocks...etc. They bring me peace and make me happy. However my oldest and 1st dog just passed away this month at 14 years old, so that is making this a bad month too. Reading books brings me joy, but focusing like I used to is hard now either from depression or meds or both. Cooking/baking, especially with my daughter now makes me happy. So I try those things as often as I can.

    I love your property (without ever seeing it, lol), that's my dream place.  

    I would recommend that you try to work in some volunteer work away from the house.   Even if it is difficult.   If you can make it closer to home, briefer in time initially, or pick something you find less anxiety producing, like working at an outdoor park or animal refuge.

    So this is basically my course of therapy and meds. If anyone has further suggestions, please offer them up.

    DOES ANYONE FIND THAT SEROQUEL AND/OR KLONAPIN HELP OR THINK THEY MIGHT HELP ME? AND WOULD IT BE IN ADDITION OR REPLACE ONEOF MY OTHER MEDS.

    My uneducated guess is that you already have abilify working for you, and that seroquel would be in the same general class as abilify, but not quite as advanced a medication.

    Seroquel and abilify are very different in HOW they do what they do, despite having similar ed results.  

    Seroquel is a 'hopper' - it sits on its target so briefly that  it can do its job and yet the nerve cells don't have time to work up any of the side effects typical of older meds before it hops off.  It's kind of brilliant.  Most  of the older meds caused side effects because they just plunked down and stayed on their target.

    Abilify on the other hand is a whole different thing - it action has the gross name of 'partial agonist', LOL.   This is a whole new approach to medications and involves adjusting to and interfering as little as possible with the brain's communication system.  

     It actually adjusts itself to one's brain chemistry.   It only blocks neurotransmitters if the neurotransmitters have gone completely out of wack and it only does this where the problem exists, no all over the brain.   Older drugs just were not sensitive like that.   THey had the same action all over the brain.

    Abilify actually adjusts.   When and where it is needed to block a target from excess messaging, it does.   When and where it should have a weakly allowing action, it does THAT.

    When it was first tested in hospitals, I remember, Steve Stahl saying there were practicaly riots in the hospital when the test period was over and people had to go back on their older meds.  

    Abilify was developed by a very small company and for years they couldn't get any American companies interested.   As a result it wound up getting tested eight ways to Sunday for almost 15 years!!!...LOL.   Finally they got Bristol Meyer Squibb interested in it and that company presented it for approval in the US.  

    It is an incredible medication founded on an entirely new concept - that a medication can adjust to the individual's chemistry.

    It also doesn't help that my husband thinks I have a wonderful life and have no reason to be unhapppy. I try to tell him, I agree. Our life is good. It is not personal. But I can't make it go away. it also doesn't help when my mom tells me that my dad would not be happy to see me this way. Again, can't help it, wish I could.

    Comments like that are so frustrating.   If you had a broken leg or your eyeball was hanging out by a thread, they'd get it, but the trouble with mental health challenges is that they are - invisible. 

     At least from my limited knowledge the prescriptions look like your doc is very well informed and doing a good job for you.   Steve Stahl, who I mentioned before, literally wrote the bible on medical treatments for more stubborn anxiety and depression.   His book is like a gigantic reference book but he does explain things very thoroughly.   I was just drooling over the latest edition of the book and trying to decide which child to sell  so I could buy it(JUST KIDDING).


     

  • ChgIsGood2012
    March 30, 2013 at 6:05 AM
    Hi Laura, I'm just wondering, do you think if you can sort out your feelings and emotions from everything that has happened, you won't have to depend on meds? And you can learn coping skills when staying in bed feels like the only way to make it? I'm not against meds, but what if you can live a med free life? You have been through some stuff. The old normal is gone. A new normal is coming, and it too, can be good. Takes work, change, tears, and all of that. You can do it.
  • SAMI_JO
    by SAMI_JO
    March 30, 2013 at 6:18 AM

     I JUST want to feel like my old decently happy self. So do I, but I haven't gotten there yet. I take Xanax, Effexor,  Hydroxyzine HCL, and Zoloft all together. I take everything but Zoloft 4 times daily. Oh and I take Lamictal twice a day for panic attacks and PTSD.

  • lancet98
    March 30, 2013 at 7:57 AM

     

    One of the most dangerous things you can possibly say.  Please leave this alone -   I've been to enough funerals already.    This lady doesn't have the usual 'blues' or 'worries'.   She has real depression and anxiety.  

    Such decisions need to be left with her and her health care team.  No one should try going off medication for depression unless their health care team is extremely confident that they will be ok.

    Depression is not always about resolving emotional conflicts.  Sometimes it's just about biochemistry.   Sad life events certainly are  tough for anyone to deal with but they aren't always the root cause of depression.

    Quoting ChgIsGood2012:

    Hi Laura, I'm just wondering, do you think if you can sort out your feelings and emotions from everything that has happened, you won't have to depend on meds? And you can learn coping skills when staying in bed feels like the only way to make it? I'm not against meds, but what if you can live a med free life? You have been through some stuff. The old normal is gone. A new normal is coming, and it too, can be good. Takes work, change, tears, and all of that. You can do it.

     

     

  • nai_ryoku
    March 30, 2013 at 8:19 AM

     I'm on a cocktail of drugs as I'm bipolar 2. I take Trilliptal, Lexapro, and Xanax. I've been having to learn coping skills through therapy and for me, if the meds I'm on can get me to the point where I don't dread the day and count the hours until bedtime, they're doing their job. My meds go so far and then it's up to me to keep working on myself. I've been through a huge list of antidepressants and so far Lexapro is a good choice for me.

  • lancet98
    March 30, 2013 at 8:39 AM

     

    Absolutely brilliant.    That is exactly it, medication is a tool and the rest comes from hard work every day

    Quoting nai_ryoku:

     I'm on a cocktail of drugs as I'm bipolar 2. I take Trilliptal, Lexapro, and Xanax. I've been having to learn coping skills through therapy and for me, if the meds I'm on can get me to the point where I don't dread the day and count the hours until bedtime, they're doing their job. My meds go so far and then it's up to me to keep working on myself. I've been through a huge list of antidepressants and so far Lexapro is a good choice for me.


     

  • Momto8kidsyay
    March 30, 2013 at 8:48 AM
    I'm looking into TMS for depression. Google it if you haven't heard of it. It is a new therapy that works very well for a lot of people. My nephew saw the psychiatrist about it and he said it gives nearly 100% relief from depression whereas meds only give 35%. He also does ECT which he says works faster. ECT has a bad name because of movies and how it used to be stronger. Nowadays the electrical charge is much smaller. He said that both simply make the electrical activity in the area of depression increase. Since the brain works on electricity, it makes sense.

    My family has a very strong history of depression and the doc said he's had other families like that where 8-10 members end up coming to him for treatment after they see the relief the first one gets.
  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster
    March 30, 2013 at 10:27 AM

    Thank you all again ladies. It is a wonderful feeling to have found this group and feel like I can talk about my feelings and issues in a safe place with people that understand. I have seen this group for months and been afraid to join or open up. I actually feel better/more secure just knowing that I am part of a group that accepts me and listens without judgement. I wish I had been brave enough to join sooner. Plan to be an active member here, and I am here for anyone that wants to talk. If you missed it earlier, I am "newoldmommy" and would be happy to friend anyone in the group. I am usually on at some point each afternoon.

    Again, all the info and advice I have gotten from this post means a lot to me.I feel like I have a safety net that I needed and didn't have. So thank you because today is honestly a little easier knowing that I have support outside of just my doctor.

  • ChgIsGood2012
    March 30, 2013 at 10:33 AM
    I'm sorry you took it that way, but that is not the message I meant to relay to OP. I also did not intentionally dismiss her diagnosis. I know depression too- the need for meds and the impact of good talk therapy. And it was a thought I wanted to share with the OP. If she doesn't agree, that is ok. I just wanted to put it out there. :-)


    Quoting lancet98: 
    One of the most dangerous things you can possibly say.  Please leave this alone -   I've been to enough funerals already.    This lady doesn't have the usual 'blues' or 'worries'.   She has real depression and anxiety.  
    Such decisions need to be left with her and her health care team.  No one should try going off medication for depression unless their health care team is extremely confident that they will be ok.
    Depression is not always about resolving emotional conflicts.  Sometimes it's just about biochemistry.   Sad life events certainly are  tough for anyone to deal with but they aren't always the root cause of depression.
    Quoting ChgIsGood2012:Hi Laura, I'm just wondering, do you think if you can sort out your feelings and emotions from everything that has happened, you won't have to depend on meds? And you can learn coping skills when staying in bed feels like the only way to make it? I'm not against meds, but what if you can live a med free life? You have been through some stuff. The old normal is gone. A new normal is coming, and it too, can be good. Takes work, change, tears, and all of that. You can do it.
     
     
  • Dawn1118
    March 30, 2013 at 12:43 PM

    You are the first person I have heard say this!  I too, find opiates work better then anything I have tried.  I, like you, take 1/2 in AM and 1/2 in PM and it keeps me feeling normal and active~  I found this out when I broke my ankle.  I have read quite a few things in this topic and have talked about this with my counselor.  Why can't we take pain meds for this if they work?  I don't see anything wrong with it.....

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