Depression Support Center

dizzy77702
I should never of become a mom, PIOG
November 18, 2012 at 7:57 PM

I have bipolar disorder, ptsd, and anxiety and while there are other mothers that can function and live normal mom lives, I am not one of them. I am always irritable and moody and short with my kids, then I feel like the worst person ever. I have been on meds since I was 13 and nothing fully helps my symptoms, I've even tried different kinds of therapy hoping that that would help. I don't work bc I would probably go off on someone for the smallest thing and I don't take direction or criticism very well. I am currently on ssdi but it doesn't pay all of my bills, I only get a small amount. Most days I am at my wits end with the house, the kids, my husband or whoever just happens to piss me off that day. No one is safe from my volatile mood swings. I try to practice mindfulness and other dbt skills and when that doesn't work I puff on my electronic cigarette and take another ativan. The meds make me so tired all the time, like I have chronic fatigue or something, I hate living this way but I've tried lots of different things to help get myself out of this rut and nothing seems to be working. I start seeing a new psychiatrist in jan so hopefully he will have some suggestions of meds I haven't tried that won't zombify me. If anyone else is going through something similar, it would be nice to know. I would also like to hear from people who have been there and now feel better, what did you do to help when you were struggling

Replies

  • Tracys2
    by Tracys2
    November 18, 2012 at 8:13 PM

    I'm sorry you are struggling so bad. A lot of people struggle with impatience- you will see in all the 80s and 90s sitcoms, the moms are known for constantly yelling- but I can almost see through the computer how hard you are struggling.

    Wish I had suggestions, I am hoping you can find someone that finds the answers to help you

  • Anonymous
    by Anonymous
    November 18, 2012 at 11:05 PM
    I feel the same way... ((Hugs))
  • mrsvixen
    November 19, 2012 at 12:35 AM
    Does your husband know how your feeling? Does your doctor?
  • reindeer-c
    November 20, 2012 at 4:26 AM

    The anxiety meds make me soooo tired too. I am so consumed with all the mental issues I have that  I feel like I am not there for my kids and husband. The guilt is overwhelming. I love my family so much but feel like I am not good enough for them because I am so messed up. It sucks....I can totally relate to how you are feeling. Hugs.

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