Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support

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Sara52
I found out I was pregnant as I was losing the baby and I don't know what to do now.
by Sara52
February 1, 2013 at 6:11 PM

How do you deal with loosing a baby you didn't even know about, until you lost the pregnancy? I wasn't suppose to be pregnant, i was/ am on the paragard its suppose to be good for 10 years. I wanted another baby, but i wanted other things first I wanted my 6 month old daughter to be a baby before we had another. Now that I know there was one and he/she died I can't seam to stop crying. I'll never know if it was a boy or girl, I'll never get to hold my baby, there is just so much i'll never know. My husband just pretends it didn't happen he just holds me and lets me cry. I don't understand why i'm crying so much I didn't know until it was gone. I tried to get it out of the toilet, but i couldn't get it and i gave up, I feel like i should have tried harder i can't get over the fact that that's where my baby went. I just don't know what to do, I feel horrible, ashamed of myself i don't want my husband to even look at me. The few family and friends i've told keeps telling me their sorry and that i'll have another baby, I don't want to replace a baby i lost and i feel that if i have another baby now, i'll just be trying to replace him/her. I'm just lost right now, and i need help making sense of what happened.

Replies

  • iSMILEheCRIES
    February 1, 2013 at 7:33 PM
    I am so sorry for your loss. Just because you didn't know about the baby doesn't mean you didn't love it honey. I am so sorry
  • Ladybugmama86
    February 1, 2013 at 7:44 PM

     I am so sorry sweetie hugs

  • chicago1
    February 1, 2013 at 8:04 PM
    When i lost my baby i didnt know i was pregnant. My situation was almost exactly like yours. i tried to get my baby out too but i couldnt. I know just how you feel ive been feeling like that for a very long time,like i didnt do enough for my baby. I shouldve done more...ive been keeping my miscarriage from people because i feel so horrible like a bad mother. Sweetie i know just how you feel i go everyday wishing none of this had happened. Please know im here for you and all of these wonderful ladies too. Feel free to message me hugs and prayers so sorry for your loss
  • Herlache
    February 1, 2013 at 10:35 PM
    I am sorry for your loss mine was 5weeks ago and I still question myself every day I still cry and am emotional everyone tells me it takes time and it is getting better but will never go away and if you ever become pg again it will not replace what you lost but be another baby to love if you ever need to talk or vent the ladies on here are the best!
  • 0Kit0
    by 0Kit0
    February 1, 2013 at 10:39 PM
    You do nothing. It was your baby,why wouldn't you feel loss. Doesn't matter when you found out. You can't reolace the child. But you keep him in your heart and move on. You just jeed time to grieve.
  • cali_angel_girl
    Amy
    February 2, 2013 at 4:19 AM

    ((hugs)) just because you didn't know about your angel baby dosen't mean you loved him/her any less hun and I am so sorry for your loss hun.

  • tlbmrf
    by tlbmrf
    February 3, 2013 at 5:43 AM

     I understand I deal with this same thing. I found out I lost a baby shortly after my hubby and I were married we did not know we were expecting and then I lost the baby at about 5-6 weeks alson.

  • echupko
    by echupko
    February 3, 2013 at 7:42 AM
    This. Hugs

    Quoting iSMILEheCRIES:

    I am so sorry for your loss. Just because you didn't know about the baby doesn't mean you didn't love it honey. I am so sorry

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