Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support

CowgirlSoldier
I sent my Angel to Heaven today.....
January 1, 2013 at 8:23 PM

I would have been 8 weeks 5 days. My second Angel went to Heaven today. I hope my first Angel was there to take this baby to see God. 

It never gets any easier. The loss is tremendous. The baby we tried so hard for can't live with us on Earth. I pray Heavenly Father gives me the blessing of someday hearing the sound of my own babies laughs and cries. I pray my day will come. 

My husband deploys soon, really soon. If we have enough time we will try again before he goes. If not we will have to wait a while until he comes back. 

I want to share this poem I found that explains how I feel in this moment. Some of you may have seen it before:

What Makes A Mother

I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today.
I asked what makes a Mother
And I know I heard him say.

A Mother has a baby
This we know is true.
But God, can you be a Mother
When your baby's not with you?

Yes, you can He replied
With confidence in His voice
I give many women babies
When they leave is not their choice.

Some I send for a lifetime
And others for a day.
And some I send to filll the womb
But there's no need to stay.

I just don't understand this, God
I want my baby here
He took a breath and cleared His throat
And then I saw a tear.

I wish I could show you
What your child is doing today.
If you could see your child smile
With other children and say

"We go to earth and learn our lessons
Of love and life and fear.
My Mommy loved me oh so much
I got to come straight here.

I feel so lucky to have a Mom
Who had so much love for me
I learned my lesson very quickly
My Mommy set me free.

I miss my Mommy oh so much
But I visit her each day.
When she goes to sleep
On her pillow is where I lay.

I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek
And whisper in her ear
"Mommy don't be sad today
I'm your baby and I'm here."

So you see my dear sweet one
Your children are OK
Your babies are here in My home
And this is where they'll stay.

They'll wait for you with me
Until your lesson is through
And on the day that you come home
They'll be at the gates for you.

So now you see what makes a Mother
It's the feeling in your heart.
It's the love you had so much of
Right from the very start!

Replies

  • ILoveMyFam
    January 1, 2013 at 8:25 PM

    So sorry for your loss.  I experienced 2 back-to-back miscarriages when trying for our little girl.  It was devastating.  Now my miracle is 6 months old and was so worth the wait.  Of course I still think of my babies I lost...but am glad we kept trying.  Progesterone helped me to finally have a successful pregnancy.  Big hugs and good luck! 

  • shonda71942
    January 1, 2013 at 8:49 PM

    I lost my angel my baby boy 12/26/12 the worst day ever i was 17 weeks i couldnt believe it was happening to me again im sitting here now eyes full of tears cus i just dont understand why this keep happening and how i miss him growing inside and feeling his little kicks but i read that poem and it made me feel a little better knowing that he is in heaven and we will meet again and he is smiling down on me "sorry for your loss and big hugs to you"

  • blessedbyGod141
    January 1, 2013 at 8:53 PM
    Made me tear! Love the poem. So sorry for your loss. Prayers to you
  • CowgirlSoldier
    January 1, 2013 at 8:54 PM

    My first baby went to Heaven at 18 weeks along. I know this baby went to Heaven in that other baby's arms. Your children are together too and they will wait for you forever until it's your time to be with them. I just have to keep reminding myself that. I hope your heart heals and I hope mine does too. 

    Quoting shonda71942:

    I lost my angel my baby boy 12/26/12 the worst day ever i was 17 weeks i couldnt believe it was happening to me again im sitting here now eyes full of tears cus i just dont understand why this keep happening and how i miss him growing inside and feeling his little kicks but i read that poem and it made me feel a little better knowing that he is in heaven and we will meet again and he is smiling down on me "sorry for your loss and big hugs to you"


  • ZsMommy
    by ZsMommy
    January 1, 2013 at 8:56 PM

    I'm so sorry for your loss.

  • ilovekeith12
    January 1, 2013 at 9:58 PM

    Im so so so sorry for your loss. I am a military wife also and that is a huge fear of mine is that DH will have to leave for a year again when time is running out for us . God bless you and will keep you and your DH is our prayers. If you need to chat while he is gone please pm me . I have done this 2 times with my DH and about 6 times with my dad i was an army brat . HUGS  All of our angels are together watching over us . I have 4 watching over me and DH . We lost our twins almost 3 weeks go .

  • JocelynsMama1
    January 1, 2013 at 10:02 PM

    I'm so sorry for your loss. good luck with concieving again soon and I hope its a sticky baby next time! I understand the stress of trying to concieve before a deployment...January is my last cycle to concieve before hubby leaves

  • CowgirlSoldier
    January 1, 2013 at 10:05 PM

    Mine too. :-( Good luck to you. I pray you and your husband get pregnant before his deployment. 

    Quoting JocelynsMama1:

    I'm so sorry for your loss. good luck with concieving again soon and I hope its a sticky baby next time! I understand the stress of trying to concieve before a deployment...January is my last cycle to concieve before hubby leaves


  • 3lilladies81
    January 1, 2013 at 10:05 PM
    I'm sorry for your loss :(
  • JocelynsMama1
    January 1, 2013 at 10:08 PM

    Thank you

    Quoting CowgirlSoldier:

    Mine too. :-( Good luck to you. I pray you and your husband get pregnant before his deployment. 

    Quoting JocelynsMama1:

    I'm so sorry for your loss. good luck with concieving again soon and I hope its a sticky baby next time! I understand the stress of trying to concieve before a deployment...January is my last cycle to concieve before hubby leaves



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