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engel
When will it feel better?
by engel
November 14, 2012 at 2:24 PM

So today I would be 7 months along with my little angel and it just feels like everything is falling apart. I cannot get a hold on my emotions today with everything going on in my life right now. I am so sick of seeing other pg women, or those with newborns knowing that mine will never be.  :(

I am to the point that I have exploded on 2 of my (formerly) best friends, telling them to stay away from me until their babies are grown. I am so tired of everyone telling me that everything happens for a reason and when god wills it will happen. It definitely will NOT happen for my angel, especially with my SO being too scared after 2 M/C's to try again. Today is just a lost kind of day and I needed to get it out before I go off on the next person that I see.  :(

Replies

  • luvbeinamommy68
    November 14, 2012 at 3:33 PM

    i wish i knew. today i am having another breakdown day. i was supposed to have my lil girl in 12 days, not almost 3 months ago. :'( it double sucks cause it was my other angels' 1yr angelversary. i had a MC at almost 8 weeks Nov. 13th 2011. my sister is in the hospital having her baby and there are a few girls that im friends with who are due in a few weeks. we are trying again though. DH knows how important it is to me.

  • amirahfae
    November 14, 2012 at 10:28 PM

    I'm so sorry. I would be 8 months along. I lost my baby in April at two months along. I was in Wal-mart yesterday in the baby section looking at a  baby memory book sobbing like a lunatic. My sister had a baby in July, our babies would have been 5 months apart. For the first two months of his life I couldn't even look at him. You feel however you want to feel. If you want to be angry be angry. If you want to be sad be sad. If you want to throw stuff at the wall then do it. It's normal to feel this way or at least that's what everyone keeps telling me. 

  • blessedmommie07
    November 14, 2012 at 10:31 PM

    I'm sorry its a tough day today.  It varies with everyone when it will feel better.  Most of the time okay but recently it has been hard.  I think it is one of the most common time in the year that many women who have lost are having a hard time because of the holiday season.  *Hugs*

  • mommyofnoah208
    November 14, 2012 at 10:42 PM
    I am sorry for your loss. Grieving has no time line and it takes time. Thinking of you
  • misskrys86
    November 15, 2012 at 6:30 PM

    I am sorry for your losses, I know how hard it can be to watch what seems like everyone else have babies.  I had an ectopic exactly a year ago, it was my first pregnancy and I never knew I could be so heartbroken.  I had to delete all my facebook friends who posted anything to do with their pregnancy and babies over the last year. I hate being envious, it never stops hurting, at least it hasn't for me, but it does get better, I've found for me personally talking to some of my friends who have lost a child, or are having trouble conceiving does ease my depression a little. Not that I'm happy their suffering too, but it's nice to know you're not alone and there is still hope.  I kept my loss a secret until just recently (most of my friends didn't even know I was ever pregnant), but the more I talked about it the more I realized a lot of them were in the same boat, I had been focusing on why this horrible thing had happened to me, but I'm starting to realize life just sucks sometimes.  I was convinced I'd have to do invitro (I lost my tube with my ectopic), and just kept telling myself no matter what I'd be a mom, even if I had to take out a $20,000 loan or find the untraditional way, I just didn't want to lose my determination, and took pride in it. I guess the best advice I can give is vent on here, or talk to friends who may be in similar situations, keep your hope and try not to stress too much. I know this was a long ramble, but hopefully it helps.  I hope your pain eases soon and will be sending baby dust your way. Good luck in this journey, you're already a stronger person, as my husband keeps telling me "You got this!"

  • Angela4boys
    November 15, 2012 at 6:59 PM
    ((Hugs)). This is a hard process, you aren't alone.
  • cali_angel_girl
    Amy
    November 15, 2012 at 10:45 PM

    ((hugs)) i'm sorry for your loss hun and that your having such a rough time. 

  • EAzizM
    by EAzizM
    November 15, 2012 at 11:18 PM

     HUGGS!!! My pregnant cousin came over yesterday with her one year old. watching him smile and laugh and play with me made me realize how hurt I really am...I cried the day I found out we lost our angel but i havent dealt with the emotions since then...HUGS again.

  • AF2011
    by AF2011
    November 16, 2012 at 12:58 AM

    I'm so sorry for your loss. There really isn't an answer to when it will feel better. I still think of my baby everyday and it's been over a year since i lost her

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