So this time last year i was pregnant. i have mixed emotions but i feel good. I no longer feel like God did me wrong. Mixed emotions cause its funny that my husband told me i was pregnant and i aruged with him that there was no way. But he wanted me to explain why i was throwing up all the time and why i no longer liked foods i use to love...LOL Our very small car had broke down and we went and brought a truck big enough for the addition we were expecting. You know get something more realiable and with space to buy the baby things we would need. I love our truck but at the time its a reminder and a little sadness on the reason we have the truck.
We have been together for 13 years. I was on and off of birth control for 10 years. So when I did get pregnant we were pretty shocked because we figured we couldn't have children. We were really okay with that. We enjoy our lives together and giving to our nieces and nephews. You know the joy of giving them back. Once I was pregnant we were pretty excited. Figured all the time we spent to build our careers and be stable to support a child it was just our next step and life and it was a joyful feeling. Having the miscarriage really changed everything.Not with us but with everyone around us. The miscarriage really brought me and him closer together. After being together so long you really don't think you could get any closer for form a better bond than with the man you have spent most of your life with.
I've accpeted that even though i didn't care if we had children before its okay for me to want them now. But its okay if I can't have them i have other options. My father's side of my family has fertility issues so i'm not blinded by the fact that children may not be on my path because of genetics. The fertility problems never really dawned on me until we got married but its been a concern of mine since I've had the miscarriage We discussed going to get check to see if we do in fact have issues. He's even shocked that I have not gotten pregnant since the miscarriage not the we've been trying to we having been not trying either.
The doctors try to tell you people get pregnant fairly easily after having a loss. I was wondering if anyone has went to see a fertility doctor to see if they had problems and what should I expect?
I am sorry for your loss. But good luck with the doctor. I am currently seeing a fertility doc for genetic issues and it really is an easy process. They draw some blood, and give you results a few weeks later. The hard part is waiting for the results. Basically the way I understand it, if it is genetic then you have a "bad case" or a "good case" and are given a % chance that it will happen again. But then again it all depends on what is wrong. Good luck and if you have any questions about the doc side of it, just let me know.
October 15, 2012 at 9:12 AM
Thanks everyone. I will keep you posted.
October 15, 2012 at 8:54 PM
I'm so sorry. :( I went to see the best OB in our area for secondary infertility (the closest fertility specialist is 90 miles away) and he ran some blood tests and looked over the extensive OB history/bbt charts I gave him and I was diagnosed with PCOS. I was put on clomid (3 months) and then metformin (3 months) before we finally got pregnant after 2+ years of trying. What kind of fertility issues does your family have, if you don't mind me asking?
October 16, 2012 at 8:49 PM
I don't mind you asking but I don't know. Don't know how to find out. Most of the ppl have passed away in my 20s or before i was born. My grandmother who is still alive but not open to sharing her reason for her fertility problems. My dad told me when I got older that my grandmom was only able to have one child before having a full hysterectomy cause of medical reasons but she never told him what they were. When I asked her about it back then....lets just say her comments were not nice. This is because she adopted my uncle but its something you not surpose to talk about. My dad said thats how older southern black women are there history is private.
My aunt who died when i was 24 only had one son and they said she couldn't have anymore. Of course my dad always joked she was so mean no one would lay with her again. My great grandmother had 19 children and 2 losses. Her other female children didn't have any children. I had a cousin who died when I was 20 she was 25. she was born with heart problems and they told her she wouldn't be able to have kids.
The people on my mom side of the family are extremely fertile. People have made comments to me about everyone in my family can have kids I shouldn't have a problem. Not knowing about my father side issues. I do have a cousin on that side him and his wife just did IUI and she miscarried at 8 weeks. I have a GYN appointment in 2 weeks hopefully she will guide me to the doctor I need to see to figure things out.