Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support

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nicholejovette
can you help me...
October 9, 2012 at 3:29 AM
hi everyone. im new here. you all seem great.

i had a miscarriage. yesterday. i dont know what to do. my family doesnt know, they cant ever know. the father could care less.

i dont know what to do. or how to deal with how im feeling. what do i do...what can i do...is there anything

Replies

  • AF2011
    by AF2011
    October 9, 2012 at 3:43 AM
    Well first of all I'm very sorry for your loss. You have came to the right place. Sadly we all have been through a loss and know what you're going through. If you ever need to cry, vent, scream, yell, or anything you can do it here. Other then that I would maybe go see a counselor or just tell what happened to someone very close to you. Hugs my dear! It will get better
  • ms_jasmine
    October 9, 2012 at 3:56 AM

     hugs honey...Im going through my 2nd right now.Cry,scream,write,do whatever makes the pain easier.I looked up quotes about my angel and cried and cried and talked about it in this group...vented...got angry,did everything.If you need to talk feel free to message me.Ive been there.

  • nicholejovette
    October 9, 2012 at 4:38 AM
    I want to scream. I'm not a violent person at all but I want to hit something, not someone. Like the father doesn't care. We had broken up right before I found out I was pregnant. I never wanted him to care about me, I only wanted him to care about his child. I felt like until he, if, signed his name on that line terminating his rights that he should care. How can you not care about your kid.... How... When I told him I lost the baby, I had to text it cause he told me not to ever call him, he said "Sorry. I'm tired. I don't want to see you" Never once did I ask to see him. But how could he be so cruel... Like he couldn't put aside our differences for two freaking seconds and show a little bit of care.... Really... I can't breathe, seriously. I have no idea what to do. I've never felt more scared and alone in my 22 years of life
  • ms_jasmine
    October 9, 2012 at 5:13 AM

    my fiance and I were seperated the first time we found out we were and he was ecstatic to be expecting another baby,so I dont know how it feels to be in your position but I can only imagine the intense pain,and how you may feel betrayed. Thats not a real man...a real man would put aside your differences to be there for moral support as the father of that baby.Scream it out girl,punch walls,couches,beds,pillows,throw your bedding all over your room.Let it out.Grief can be a poison...if you dont get it out,it festers,becomes toxic and makes you so angry and bitter on the inside.Vent away,we are all here to listen and some of us have been where you are.

    Quoting nicholejovette:

    I want to scream. I'm not a violent person at all but I want to hit something, not someone. Like the father doesn't care. We had broken up right before I found out I was pregnant. I never wanted him to care about me, I only wanted him to care about his child. I felt like until he, if, signed his name on that line terminating his rights that he should care. How can you not care about your kid.... How... When I told him I lost the baby, I had to text it cause he told me not to ever call him, he said "Sorry. I'm tired. I don't want to see you" Never once did I ask to see him. But how could he be so cruel... Like he couldn't put aside our differences for two freaking seconds and show a little bit of care.... Really... I can't breathe, seriously. I have no idea what to do. I've never felt more scared and alone in my 22 years of life

     

  • nicholejovette
    October 9, 2012 at 5:45 AM

    I know it's unhealthy for me to keep this inside. I've tried screaming into pillows and punching them, I've cried, I've yelled in my car as loud as I could until I couldn't anymore, I've blasted Taylor Swift songs (lol), but no matter what I do nothing is helping, like not even a little bit. I feel like I can't even begin to cope and heal without the father being involved. I know that makes me look weak, needy, clingy, whatever...but it's the honest truth.

  • ms_jasmine
    October 9, 2012 at 6:00 AM

     That doesnt sound clingy,it sounds reasonable...Im sorry honey...maybe write him a letter or type him an email of how you feel and what ur going thru...you dont have to send it,u can burn it if u want...or send the email.Maybe thatll help

    Quoting nicholejovette:

    I know it's unhealthy for me to keep this inside. I've tried screaming into pillows and punching them, I've cried, I've yelled in my car as loud as I could until I couldn't anymore, I've blasted Taylor Swift songs (lol), but no matter what I do nothing is helping, like not even a little bit. I feel like I can't even begin to cope and heal without the father being involved. I know that makes me look weak, needy, clingy, whatever...but it's the honest truth.

     

  • Angela4boys
    October 9, 2012 at 7:55 AM

    I am very sorry for your loss, losing a baby is a pain like no other.  At this point, all you can do is grieve.  Greive any way, and as long as you want.  This is a great place for suppofrt, we've all been though this, and know what it's like, unfortunately.  Do you have anyone at all, that knows about your situation? 

  • blessedmommie07
    October 9, 2012 at 9:33 AM

    I'm sorry for your loss.  As there anyone like a friend or someone you can confide in so you have someone who can help support you?

  • mommyofnoah208
    October 9, 2012 at 11:24 AM
    I am so sorry for your loss and lack on support. Welcome to the group and hope you find support here
  • MommaBoop922
    October 9, 2012 at 12:49 PM

    I am very sorry for your loss.  Its hard enough and its that much harder when you dont have the support you need.  All you can do is take it one day at a time and allow yourself to get through the grieving process.  If you have any friends you trust and can tell maybe they can help you get through.  Some women find peace in creating a memorial or doing something to remember their LO like lighting a candle.  In time you will find it will get better.  We are all here for support when you need it ((HUGS))

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