Miscarriage and Pregnancy Loss Support

candcsmom2008
Really no talking about it??
July 1, 2010 at 12:36 PM

I have a GF who had a M/C and I knew she had one, But when I tried to talk to her about it, she said where she comes from it is a sign of weakness to talk about it.. WHAT??

She is of Indian decent.

This just saddens me, it is not her fault!!

Replies

  • MommaBoop922
    July 1, 2010 at 12:38 PM

    Yeah, that is really sad.... but for some people talking about it is just not an option... I would just keep trying to support her however she will let you and if she ever comes around and wants to talk be there for her.  I hope she is okay and able to get through it.  Its good she has a friend like you :) 

  • candcsmom2008
    July 1, 2010 at 1:05 PM

    I am there for her and we hang out alot..She is on of the sweetest people I have ever met...I also called her mom and she gave me some insight that it is more stressed on her from her husband because he is an only child so it is all on her shoulders to care on the family name and tree. But still IT IS NOT HER FAULT!!  It just hurts me for him to place blame on something she has no control over.

  • MommaBoop922
    July 1, 2010 at 4:26 PM

    I didn't realize he was placing blame... Thats not fair at all and its really sad that he is doing that instead of being supportive... I hope she is able to work through this and not let what he says affect her too severely... Im sure partially he doesn't understand and the other half is probably culture... doesn't make it any better but its a sad reality. 

  • christine.r2624
    July 1, 2010 at 5:01 PM

    thats heartbreaking, but its how some cultures are. I personally had a very hard time talking about mine for the longest time because I was afraid others would view me as weak, but I had tons of other issues going on as well... it had nothing to do with my culture.  

  • xoNIKKIox
    July 1, 2010 at 5:56 PM

    Is she placing blame on herself--or is her DH blaming her? From what you mentioned at first, it just sounded like she didn't want to discuss her feelings/experience.

    Quoting candcsmom2008:

    I am there for her and we hang out alot..She is on of the sweetest people I have ever met...I also called her mom and she gave me some insight that it is more stressed on her from her husband because he is an only child so it is all on her shoulders to care on the family name and tree. But still IT IS NOT HER FAULT!!  It just hurts me for him to place blame on something she has no control over.


  • Snuggle_Slings
    July 5, 2010 at 2:37 PM

    I'm sorry.

    When I told people I miscarried I got "school is stressful huh?" and other things that implied it was my fault

  • mrseckstein
    July 5, 2010 at 3:04 PM

    Perhaps it's somethign her culture has taught her? GOsh hope she's OK 

  • candcsmom2008
    July 5, 2010 at 3:35 PM

    He has her convinced she should not let others know" she is unable of caring a child", he said to DH the other day..He was disgraced by her because she miscarried, I literally had to hold DH back..He was pissed. I just knew he was gonna hit him. We were at t here house and  her and I walked out and she has been here at the house with me since.... We are talking and I have been telling her about Cafemom and giving her info about M/C and such.. We also set up a memorial place at our local cemetary for her to be able to go.. She is doing better. TY ladies for all  the support...

  • candcsmom2008
    July 5, 2010 at 3:40 PM

    DH blames her, it is the culture she married into that says that a woman who can not reproduce for her DH is weak and a disgrace to the family. She is opening up and has said many times she is glad she is able to talk about it in my house..Appraently this is there 2nd M/C.. I was unaware of the other one.

    Quoting xoNIKKIox:

    Is she placing blame on herself--or is her DH blaming her? From what you mentioned at first, it just sounded like she didn't want to discuss her feelings/experience.

    Quoting candcsmom2008:

    I am there for her and we hang out alot..She is on of the sweetest people I have ever met...I also called her mom and she gave me some insight that it is more stressed on her from her husband because he is an only child so it is all on her shoulders to care on the family name and tree. But still IT IS NOT HER FAULT!!  It just hurts me for him to place blame on something she has no control over.



  • Sjulia2009
    July 6, 2010 at 8:48 AM

    There are all natural ways to heal the body, so she can have a baby. I can not remember where I saw it, only that it is out there. I had a misscarriage and I thought I was pregnant again, turned out i got my period. It was a werid bleeding too, not sure what that means.

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