Parenting Positive Kids

iHay
Negativity and rudeness.
by iHay
November 13, 2012 at 12:19 AM
What do i do about my sons negativity? He is 5 almost 6 but is behind emotionally so seems more like a 3-4 year old. I know it is partly just a phase but i dont like it lol ;) he says "no!" to everything. On top of that he says shut up which drives me nuts. Dh left to go to work sunday (he works away) and said goodbye to ds. Ds was disappointed that he was leaving i know but when dh said bye ds just shook his head and yelled no! Oye already. Oh and fyi dh is stepdaddy. Not that it really matters. Rude is rude.

Replies

  • heavensdaughter
    November 13, 2012 at 12:58 AM

     That's really tough.  I would just say gentle but consistent consequences for inappropriate behavior.  Time out or loss of toys/tv time.  Then an explanation each time about how rude behavior hurts others and can affect his relationships.  And then talk about different ways he can express himself when he is feeing angry or hurt. Then make sure and watch for him being polite, kind, or positive and praise praise praise.  Even if it's rare at first, if you praise him for it you will see it more and more!

     

  • bungas
    by bungas
    November 13, 2012 at 1:16 AM

    Hi mom there

    Your son is  not naughty, he just need your extra attention or people around him. Please give him moral stories and tell him what he did hurt others feeling. and you play discipline game with some rules about respectability . And dont forget, child need examples not only words. You are a great mom, it takes years to rear a respectful child and only short moment to fill anger and disrespect.

    Keep smiling mom and always be a positif miror for your lovely son.

    It's nice to know a great mom like you.

  • LOswald0314
    November 13, 2012 at 1:21 AM
    I agree! Lots of praise when he is not rude.

    Quoting heavensdaughter:

     That's really tough.  I would just say gentle but consistent consequences for inappropriate behavior.  Time out or loss of toys/tv time.  Then an explanation each time about how rude behavior hurts others and can affect his relationships.  And then talk about different ways he can express himself when he is feeing angry or hurt. Then make sure and watch for him being polite, kind, or positive and praise praise praise.  Even if it's rare at first, if you praise him for it you will see it more and more!


     

  • mrswillie
    November 13, 2012 at 8:56 AM

    My kids were never allowed to say shut-up. There were concequences. Have you tried a quiet time in his room so he could compose himself?

  • iHay
    by iHay
    November 13, 2012 at 9:14 AM
    Yes and time outs and putting his nose in the corner and even a couple spankings. Unfortunately my mom has a little yappy dog that barks all the time and she will say shut up to it. Not even to it but just in exasperation because nothing will get the dog to stop barking and then my dh says it when he's teasing me. He doesnt mean it and only says it when we're playing but i feel like its a losing battle with them saying it too.

    Quoting mrswillie:

    My kids were never allowed to say shut-up. There were concequences. Have you tried a quiet time in his room so he could compose himself?

  • SabrinaLC
    November 13, 2012 at 9:35 AM

    This is pretty good advice

    Quoting bungas:

    Hi mom there

    Your son is  not naughty, he just need your extra attention or people around him. Please give him moral stories and tell him what he did hurt others feeling. and you play discipline game with some rules about respectability . And dont forget, child need examples not only words. You are a great mom, it takes years to rear a respectful child and only short moment to fill anger and disrespect.

    Keep smiling mom and always be a positif miror for your lovely son.

    It's nice to know a great mom like you.


  • elasmimi
    November 13, 2012 at 9:36 AM

    I never say shut up, and would not be happy if my child did. It is probably just a stage, but he needs to learn polite ways of expressing himself. Consequences, plus don't forget lots of praise when he is behaving appropriately.

    Quoting mrswillie:

    My kids were never allowed to say shut-up. There were concequences. Have you tried a quiet time in his room so he could compose himself?


  • mrswillie
    November 13, 2012 at 9:42 AM


    Quoting elasmimi:

    I never say shut up, and would not be happy if my child did. It is probably just a stage, but he needs to learn polite ways of expressing himself. Consequences, plus don't forget lots of praise when he is behaving appropriately.

    Quoting mrswillie:

    My kids were never allowed to say shut-up. There were concequences. Have you tried a quiet time in his room so he could compose himself?


    I totally agree. At that age, many times we would send our kids to their room to compose themselves and get a better attitude. It was totally up to them when the came out. They didn't have to ask to come out, however if they did come out, and the attitude was still there, they were made to return.

  • Kmakksmom
    November 15, 2012 at 8:45 PM

    I agree with a little bit of all that was said by everyone.  Good Luck to you!

  • Meltopia529
    November 16, 2012 at 1:49 PM
    Me too.

    Quoting Kmakksmom:

    I agree with a little bit of all that was said by everyone.  Good Luck to you!

Parenting Positive Kids