My 7 year old son is in 2nd grade. He does great at school and behaves well. He follows the rules and gets along with almost everyone. When he is at home, he has been acting awful! He is disrespectful of me, yells and talks back to me. He constantly fights with his 4 year old sister. It is about stupid stuff too-today he yelled at her and blamed her because she ate some of the popcorn they were sharing. He ended up crying and throwing a fit and going to his room. I am at my wits end with him. I don't know how to effectively discipline him anymore. I can't figure out what is the best way to deal with him. We've tried time outs, taking away electronics and priveledges. We've tried talking to him and letting him know that when he yells at us and is disrespectful it hurts us. I don't know what to do now. I know what we are doing is not effective. I think that it is so bad right now that I don't enjoy spending any time with him anymore. I dread picking him up from school because I know that he is going to get angry and talk back or yell at me. I want to have a good relationship with him but at this point I don't know what to do.
October 10, 2012 at 9:58 PM
I don't have any answers -
I have a 7 year old girl in second grade and she has gone throught these same things...I have been telling myself it is because - her teacher keeps moving her farther back of the class, but my daughter wants to sit up front and center; the second grade bully knows what buttons to push on my daughter; she isn't getting enough sleep...etc...It appears to be all these things and just being 7 in 2012. They know more, learn more, and do more than kids did when I was 7... they seem so grown up it is easy to forget they are only 7...
IMO parenting is the most challenging skill to develop because children are consistently changing and you have to adapt to those changes. With that being said, I would strongly advise against telling your children what "hurts you". You're suppose to be your child's protector, but letting them know that you are so easily hurt gives them the power to be disrespectful, and believe me when I tell you, there are lots of lessons at school on how to verbally hurt someone. By "letting him know that when he yells at us and is disrespectful it hurts us" is an open invitation for this behavior to continue. Look, I want my children's love and respect, too, but if I have to beg them for it, I won't get it! Be the adult, be firm, and hold your ground. The more you try to appease them, the more they know they're in control. Tell your husband to back you by telling your son, together, that you will not put up with his attitude, and let him know what you'll do if it happens again. The key to this being effective is your ability to say something so unbelievable in addition to the consequences that he will not want to see if it will happen; such as saying you will knock his ass into next week, while the man is holding you back (lol). He will probibly do it again to test you, so make sure you do exactly what you said you would, every time he does; the consequence, not knocking him into next week (lol). In due time this phase will pass and by showing him you will not tolerate his shit will garner you his respect, forever because real men don't want a doormat of a woman in their lives, they want a loving, but strong woman; like their Mom! ; ) Hope this helps!
Vanessa; 39 years of life, wife and mother of 3 girls and 3 boys.
by agaytanOctober 11, 2012 at 9:05 AM
It is so hard to be a little boy. I have an eight year old and a soon to be eleven year old. I am always told how good and polite they are outside of school. Both of my boys are getting sent to the principal's office for various outburst, behavior they don't do at home. I feel that boys have a lot of pressure to be a certain way that they just can't handle it all the time. I just shadowed my eight year old yesterday, and to tell you the truth at 41 I had a hard time not fidgeting or squirming in my chair. If your son is doing well in school, he probably has to have an outlet for holding it all in. Try to ask him to repeat himself in a nicer way and try to have patience . Trust me it's hard!!
by elasmimiOctober 11, 2012 at 10:05 AM
If he is being good at school, only misbehaving at home, talk to his teacher. I asked my 6 y/o why she was so good at Mass in school, but so awful on Sunday with us, and she said "because I get in trouble in school" That told me I was not being consistent with discipline.
by SabrinaLCOctober 11, 2012 at 2:55 PM
My 1st grader has been doing things very similar to this. UGH! The frustration!
I wish I had some advice!
by swati88October 16, 2012 at 3:45 AM
well i think this is so hard for such a small boy!! even then some how he managed...good job