Military Families

Hi everyone! I'm a new member and need some advice :)
November 19, 2012 at 5:04 PM

I've never been a part of a group before and i'm honestly excited I joined! everyone seems so sweet by what i've read so far. A little background on me- I'm 23 years old and live in cocoa florida. I have a two year old son named Connor whom i had with my ex boyfriend. I am now married to a wonderful wonderful Air Force man. He is stationed in Hickam, HI and we recently just got married. He left for his station about a week ago. My son and I plan on moving there as well in a few months.


This is where I need advice from anyone who has been in this position or knows what to do. My sons father is on the birth certificate and he is barely in my sons life. My sons dad recently moved out of florida to another state. I've alerted him about me getting married and connor and i moving to hawaii. In order for my son and I to move to be with my husband, does my sons dad need to "approve" of it? Will the Air Force notify him as well? does he have to sign off on anything to say its okay or anything of that sort? He's not the nicest of people to me and I believe the reason my son and I would not be able to move would be because of him. I've heard mixed advice saying yes i can go and others saying no that he has to sign off on something. it makes me nervous to even think about not being able to be with my husband because of my ex. breaks my heart! My ex now tries to send connor things and try to talk a little more now that i've told him this information about us maybe leaving, kinda ironic right? I see right through it. but anyways, trying to figure things out. My ex wont sign his rights up or anything like that so hopefully things work out and somebody can help me! thank you all so much!


  • Anonymous 1
    by Anonymous 1
    November 19, 2012 at 5:08 PM
    Here we go again....
  • evrementer
    November 19, 2012 at 5:09 PM


  • evrementer
    November 19, 2012 at 5:10 PM

    i dont know what that is supposed to mean but if you didn't like waht i wrote or am writing, you didn't have to reply..or better yet even waste your time reading it.



    thanks though! :)

  • edelweiss23
    November 19, 2012 at 5:11 PM
    I didn't need consent when Moved to FL where my husband is stationed. I just had to provide 3 weeks notice that I was moving.
    If my husband got stationed out of the country, I would have to have consent.
  • evrementer
    November 19, 2012 at 5:12 PM

    oh okay. Thank you!!

  • chrlstoncharmed
    November 19, 2012 at 5:17 PM

    Welcome to the group! 

    Is your ex and ex-husband or an ex-boyfriend? Do you have a custody agreement in place? Your best course of action is to consult with an attorney to find out what your legal obligations are, if any. I would guess that if you were never married, you can give him notice and if he wants to pursue some type of legal action, the ball is in his court ... but it is costly. 

  • ArmyMechsWife
    November 19, 2012 at 8:15 PM
    Hawaii is considered OCONUS, so you would need to get the fathers permission..I just went through this, because my husband was being stationed in Korea, and in order to take my son out of the country, I had to have a letter of permission, written and signed by my sons father..
  • Peaceful.chaos
    November 19, 2012 at 9:06 PM
    The Air Force wont get involved so it's your responsibility to handle any legalities of custody before moving. I'd contact an attorney for a free consult right away. The last thing you need is to get in trouble after you've already moved there. Good luck!
  • Mom2Rylin
    November 19, 2012 at 11:06 PM

    If you were not married to your ex, and there is no custody agreement, then yes you can move WITHOUT your ex's permission. I did not need any paper signed or consent given by my ex. But if he chooses to say he wants custody, then there might be problems.

  • Mom2Rylin
    November 19, 2012 at 11:08 PM

    Oh forgot about Hawaii being OCONUS. But I was told that only if a passport was required, then u would need a signed and notarized letter of permission from him. But I didn't think Hawaii required a passport even if it is OCONUS.

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