Smarter Living

HeatherNYC
Smarter Living: Dealing with family during the holidays
December 19, 2012 at 12:00 AM

Many of us are wrapping up gifts, packing up suitcase to travel to be with family...a good thing, a thing we all are craving these days after our world has shaken been, again. But even sometimes, family can be tough to deal with.

Mamajamma writes: "I love my family. I do. Even their flaws. But we see each other at the holidays, those flaws are magnified. I try my best to deal with arrogant behavior or kids who are spoiled or those relatives that just sit there and expect the rest of us to wait on them...but it's tough. What's the best way to deal with the not-so-great parts of family gatherings?"

First and foremost, we love our families. Period. That isn't in question, but sometimes scurrying around to get stuff done while others don't lift a finger or tackling a kid who has less-than-stellar manners and demands you to do things, well, it can take the joy out of the most joyous time of year.

The main idea is to adjust your expectations. People don't change overnight. Be prepared mentally. If your mother-in-law tends to hand out nagging comments, tell yourself this year isn't going to change, but maybe have a internal game where you guess how many she doles out. Or that 12-year-old who has never heard the word "No?" Have him help you, give him little tasks to keep him busy.

These ideas won't change the behavior of folks, but at least it can help you control how you react to them. Ahead of time, plan a mantra to keep your own emotions in check when your Uncle John goes on Uninformed Political Tirade #12 of the day.

Are you gathering with family this holiday season? How do you handle tricky situations with your family?

¬©iStockphoto.com/ saw 

Replies

  • bether89
    December 19, 2012 at 12:07 AM

     The holidays are a time of close quarters and lots of family in a small area.  I remind myself to use my good manners, enjoy the company of loved ones and ignore those who forget to use their good manners.

  • Flaca43
    by Flaca43
    December 19, 2012 at 7:04 AM

     I'm lucky, my family is usually great at the holidays.

  • momofsixangels
    December 19, 2012 at 10:01 AM

    I only have my sisters now 

  • Hannahsmommy816
    December 19, 2012 at 10:36 AM

     good to keep in mind!

  • aneela
    by aneela
    December 19, 2012 at 11:33 AM

    we have  no family around...

  • Madelaine
    December 19, 2012 at 11:42 AM

    thanks!

  • wandep
    by wandep
    Pam
    December 19, 2012 at 11:50 AM
    We have a big family get together on Christmas Eve.
  • lil_mama06
    December 19, 2012 at 11:50 AM

    If someone doesn't like to be around their family's flaws and all..Maybe THEY should be the ones to stay home, or NOT have anyone come over..Life is too short to be upset by such petty stuff.. Holidays are meant to be enjoyed and who knows maybe your relatives don't think so highly of you and your kids..(general you) 

  • hugss
    by hugss
    December 19, 2012 at 12:06 PM

    It's just the four of us so far for this holiday & we love it even more so with our sons being much older ;)

  • delanna6two
    December 19, 2012 at 12:39 PM

    Sometimes things can get challenging...

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