Smarter Living

Smarter Mom: Talking about hard things
November 28, 2012 at 12:00 AM

In my neck of the woods, a lot of people are suffering. The hurricane wiped out homes, towns, lives. Granted, things like this have happened almost everywhere in every corner of the world. Yet, this is my kiddo's world, and explaining to her what has happened is on my plate lately. Mix in a few questions about God and Heaven, and this mom is dealing with some heavy and hard topics lately. 

Maybe you have been dealing with hard convos yourself lately...maybe not, but at some point, you think you do you wade into those discussions? Such a good question, and there is no right answer, but here are some to try.

 -- Use books. Check to see if there are some books, with favorite characters or not, that deal with whatever it is you are handling. Best bet is: there will be. It helps kids to read and think about a situation if someone else is going through it.

-- Listen and agree, but follow up. Sometimes all kids need is for you to hear their fears, listen to their thoughts, and agree that is can be scary. But then it is up to you to take it one step further and provide that secure "It will be okay, but it may take time and be different, but still okay" element to the conversation.

-- Be prepared to say I don't know...and share what you do know. Sometimes, these hard things bring up issues and topics that you don't know all the answers about. Tell your kids you don't know, but remind them of the things you do know (they are safe, you are there for them, tomorrow they will go to school). Remembering all of the known things makes those large unknown, perhaps uncertain parts of life more tolerable.

Have you talked about "hard things" with your kids? Share how it went!

© RTimages


  • SlightlyPerfect
    November 30, 2012 at 7:37 PM

    Aw, I'm sorry. I call my daughter Bean, though, too. :)

    Quoting Bradensmommy719:

    This.might sound bad but I have hunny explain it. He is better with words and I get emotional. with the fire this summer hunny started the conversation with bean and I could help explain some things.
    The beginning of the month I avoided the conversation about what a funeral home is cuz hunny wasn't around so I didn't go to grandpa Pete's wake. I had no words on how to explain it. Yes he does know what death is and that is happens

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