*Single Mommies*

Advice Please (Kinda Long)
August 1, 2012 at 4:48 PM

So, here is my story:
When I got pregnant with my son, I was seeing someone(not really dating exclusively, but just seeing eachother) I had been seeing him for about 2 months, and then we got into a fight, I got mad and slept with someone that I had previously hooked up with.
We made up, and got together and started seeing eachother exclusively. 
When I found out I was pregnant, he told me that he wasn't going to be able to be there for me and the baby. I took his reasonings into account but knew deep down that once the baby was born, he would be there. We kept seeing eachother. 
When I found out I was pregnant, I wondered if it was the other guy that I had slept with. But the timing didn't make sense. I even asked the doctor about it, and while she obviously couldn't tell me for sure, she said that chances were it was not my one time hook-ups baby. 
It was such an emotional time for me knowing that the man I loved couldn't be there for me and my child, and I had to deal with all of those emotions. 
 After I had the baby, he didn't look anything like his dad. He looked so much like me that I didn't really think about it. Even though I had a gnawing feeling in the back of my head that I had been wrong all along, and my one time hookup was the father of my baby, I pushed the feeling away. 
We ended up doing a paternity test, and my boyfriend was not the father. It was hard. We broke up (not even because of that) but it was so hard on my emotionally, especially with all my hormones right after having a baby.
Once I found out who the father was, I never told him. That's the advice I need.
My son is now almost 5 months old. I don't want anything from this man. Not money, Not help. Nothing. I don't want anything to do with him. I dont want him in my life. But I feel like thats being selfish to my child. It's just, I have already delt with all the emotions of telling someone I was having their baby and all of that. I've delt with coming to terms that I was going to do this all on my own, and I'm fine with it.

I love my son more than life itself, and I don't want anyone to try to take him from me (even just for weekends)
I'm scared that if I tell him, he will try. 
I don't know what to do...  


  • DDDaysh
    by DDDaysh
    August 2, 2012 at 11:03 AM

     Your son deserves the truth.  The father deserves the truth.  This isn't about you anymore.  You made your decision when you decided to sleep with him.  Now you owe it to both the father and your son to put all the information out on the table and let the legal process take it's course. 

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