i make a point to know and understand my teens, but some times they do shock me,i tell them all the time i remember, and i know what you are doing and what you will be doing, even now it is much harder to be a teen. times have changed, but teens are still the same . i look back when i was a teen there was so much to do ,and it didnt cost anything, you could go to the movies and have pop corn for a few bucks, and today you are looking at at least $15 bucks just for a movie and pop corn. my kids talk to me about this. when i here im bored, i have nothing to do,when i tell them call there friends to see if anyone wants to go to the movies im told no one has the money. so i treat each teen as who they are, my 17 year old i ask him if he wants to go rent a game that usually works or my 15 year old i ask him to fix somethingthat always work ( he needs to to bee needed) and my 14 year old i ask him if he wants to talk (hes a talker) that works for him. so yes for the main part i believe i really do know and understand my teens.
by summerdayzMay 3, 2009 at 8:25 AM
Yep, I think I really know and understand my kids because we talk all the time. I can tell them what they are going to say before they can get the words out of their mouth. LOL !
by my3babesMay 4, 2009 at 12:31 AM
Yes I really know them cause we do talk alot but there is just some things you can't talk over with your parents & you turn to friends, I know I did that ALOT as a teen so I understand their need to do that & I don't expect them to tell me everything or do everything with me but for the most part I know my kids pretty well & they know they can come & talk to me about anything & feel comfortable about it. I can always tell when somethings bothering them before they say it.
by jas_momof2May 4, 2009 at 4:17 AM
Absolutely... Even when he's moody, I can usually bring it around...
May 4, 2009 at 8:54 AM
YES! Since he was little we had great communication. Everyday after school he comes right to me and we talk about his day. I can sense his mood very easily esp if something is bothering him. He knows he can come to me no matter what and we can get through anything. His best friend who lives with us also talks to me daily. We have open discussions daily and the kids know we are there for them. Sure there are days we don't understand them but we always figure it out together.
by LyndallMay 4, 2009 at 9:05 AM
I believe so I homeschool. so we spend a lot of time together. occasionally he surprises me but mostly I know all his friends and what he does. he is uncomfortable talking about things that upset him so he was prety quite after the death of his brother and grandfather. but then a few weeks later he discusses how he felt with me.
May 4, 2009 at 9:18 AM
I think I know and understand my 13 yo. He still tells me things. He's overall a good kid (much better than I was). It helps that we were made from the same cloth. I can guess how something makes him feel and help him decide how to handle it. Even when he can't or won't voice it himself. I also have a 9 yo (10 in June) that I feel I know, but I don't understand the way he thinks. I feel bad for that. He's just like my dh was as a kid (everybody says so). But, I think my dh has forgotten what it was like to be a kid. He's very hard on him sometimes, even though he probably needs it. Part of his problem is he wants so much to be like his older brother, but he still wants to do 9 yo boy stuff. Stuck between being a little boy and a teenager.
May 4, 2009 at 11:26 AM
I used to think I knew everything about my teen and realized that was just exactly what my teen disliked is the fact she felt I was always trying to invade and know it all for her.
Clearly I understand communication with our teens is important, but being a parent is even more important over being best friends with your teens (in my opinion anyhow). I have found I had a lot better results with my 13 year old being a parent but an interested parent not leaning more as her "friend" as she doesn't want me as her "friend" and that took me awhile to accept without feeling so hurt, I mean I love my daughter, it's a hard thing to go through.
I found of all things she likes me being her parent although she does not always like how I have to discipline her or scold her for poor judgements or behaviors, but when I do have to dicipline she is a lot less mouthy.
My communication with my teen is always different depends on the day, event, happening, but I also realized while I THOUGHT I knew my teen I also make it clear to her, because she is so young (13) I have to restrict what she does on the computer it also means I must approve what she says and does on the computer... I have found very shocking things she and others have said and done on the computer, she is now no longer allowed anywhere around MySpace and she knows why, I feel it is a negative influence, and some of the things they send is just unreal...
I always talk to her that I want her to have positive influence and be a positive influence by not taking everything away, but at the same time, what they say to us, is not always everything that is going on. She has learned to trust me on events that happens at school, *clique fights amoung the girls* where I give her my advice and tell her it is up to her to use it or not. But I am also realistic, there are many things our teens do, we do not know, they don't always tell us everything, and it is our job as they are young tweens and early teens to let them know part of becoming a teen is for us to guide them to things we approve and do not approve of, and hope by the time they are 16 and we unleash them more, they will have better judgement and training from us the parents to avoid things that could affect them negatively.
by jerzeetomatoMay 4, 2009 at 11:52 AM
I know my boy pretty well....he is a lot like me so its easy most of the time to figure out what's going on with him...and we're a lot closer than he likes to let on, but I also know he does not tell me everything, and that's okay, as long as he understands he can tell me anything at anytime, no matter how angry he might think I'll get.