Moms with Teens

gabbie40
Teen Sex
July 28, 2013 at 1:06 AM
I just found out that my 14yrold is having sex and I was furious at her. So my 19 yr old niece took her to the client to see if she was pregnant or not and come to found out that she is not . My question is .What would you do If you found out that your teen is having sex .

Replies

  • AleashaJ
    July 28, 2013 at 1:08 AM

    I would encourage safe sex and put my dd on birth control

  • bizzeemom2717
    July 28, 2013 at 4:14 AM

     At 14 I would be very upset as well. I would sit her down and talk with her, make sure she also has no STI's as well as not preg. Then I would find out why she felt the need to be sexually active so early? Something is lacking emotionally in her life? Then I would find out where and when it happened and step up the supervision BIG time, she's lost her right to privacy and independence, she should be supervised at all times.

  • GleekingOut
    July 28, 2013 at 4:23 AM

    Mine would have no such thing as privacy. All privliges would be taken away - and even if she needed to pee - she would have to ask permission. In saying so; I would also arrange for counselling or something to find out why she felt the need to have sex. I would find out where/when she had sex so that that opportunity could NEVER happen again.

  • fammatthews4
    July 28, 2013 at 6:27 AM
    Exactly this.

    Quoting bizzeemom2717:

     At 14 I would be very upset as well. I would sit her down and talk with her, make sure she also has no STI's as well as not preg. Then I would find out why she felt the need to be sexually active so early? Something is lacking emotionally in her life? Then I would find out where and when it happened and step up the supervision BIG time, she's lost her right to privacy and independence, she should be supervised at all times.

  • shansa3fan
    July 28, 2013 at 8:35 AM

    Talk about safe sex and why we practice it. Put her on birth control, the one that you don't have to rely on her to keep it effective. Mirena and Depo, yes but the pill? No way will I trust her. I was in your shoes. She's 19 now and not pregnant. There's no point in carrying on about abstinance because it's over. Discuss that it's still an option though and that there's reasons why teens should not be having sex. Point out disease that could lead to sterilization and even death. Once you have sex with someone, you just had sex with absolutely everyone else they ever had sex with. And so on, and so on and so on. Good luck. I was so pissed off I could barely talk to her. After all the talks and open door talking, she didn't have sense enough to protect herself and THAT'S why you're not mature enough to handle a sexual relationship. 

  • disneymom2two
    July 28, 2013 at 8:39 AM

    I would be extremely upset if my 14 year old was having sex but I think going overboard like this would cause more reprecussions.  Independence would be cut way back -  supervised activities only but asking to pee?  I think that's a bit much.  


    Quoting GleekingOut:

    Mine would have no such thing as privacy. All privliges would be taken away - and even if she needed to pee - she would have to ask permission. In saying so; I would also arrange for counselling or something to find out why she felt the need to have sex. I would find out where/when she had sex so that that opportunity could NEVER happen again.



  • atlmom2
    by atlmom2
    July 28, 2013 at 9:05 AM
    Flip out. Ask why, and probably never let her out of adults supervision for a long time. Wayyyyyy too young.
  • luckysevenwow
    July 28, 2013 at 10:47 AM

    I'd be pissed. No recreational activities that aren't supervised by someone I trust., and a LONG talk about the repercussions of teen sex. 

  • Barabell
    July 28, 2013 at 10:54 AM

    I agree with this. I would be really concerned about why she wanted to do this so young, and I would make sure she lost independence since she's proven to make poor decisions.

    Quoting bizzeemom2717:

     At 14 I would be very upset as well. I would sit her down and talk with her, make sure she also has no STI's as well as not preg. Then I would find out why she felt the need to be sexually active so early? Something is lacking emotionally in her life? Then I would find out where and when it happened and step up the supervision BIG time, she's lost her right to privacy and independence, she should be supervised at all times.


  • Barabell
    July 28, 2013 at 10:57 AM

    Do you know who the guy is? Are you sure it's not a case of statutory rape or anything like that?

    When did she have the freedom to be sexual active without your notice? Even though I don't watch my almost 14 year old every minute, I at least know what company he's keeping throughout the day.

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