Moms with Teens

kathy95678
hello
June 23, 2013 at 6:01 PM
Im kathy a 35yr old newly single mom with 5 boys ages 15,13,6,4,2. My fiance of 7 yrs robert passed away unexpectidly may 1st of this yr. So along with my life in pieces i have a 15 yr old boy named chris. Who on most days seems determand to make my life a living hell!!! Chris is very outspoken on everything and anything.now dont get me wrong he is a awsome kid to anyone that isnt me or his brothers.It bothers me to say his behavier embarrasses me but it really does.he calls me every name you can think of and so on. His dad was like this also( robert was chris' stepdad)im afraid he will end up just like his biological,full of hate,rage,and misguided beliefs. Me and Robert tried hard to help chris.im also embarressed to say that Robert tried harder than i did.I dont know how to deal with him so i didnt. I also take full responsiblity as his mom for how he is. Now that Robert is gone he has asked who is going to be the father figure in there life he even asked about his dad. There has been no contact with his dad and they are better for it. Chris is a good boy to. He has a girlfriend who he is sweet to and he is completly respectful at her house or any house as long as its not ours.:) he is down to only 2 more yrs in school. He jokes around and loves checking himself out in the mirror. Id peg him as a normal teenage boy. Until he gets mad then its all bad. I love him and want to help him.its just harder becouse i dont even know how to fix myself at this moment. I feel like im failing him as a mom.

Replies

  • Barabell
    June 23, 2013 at 9:21 PM

    Hello, Kathy. Welcome to the group. I'm sorry about the loss of your finance.

    I think you and Chris need some family counseling. It's not OK to be verbally abused by your son. I don't know how to help with the situation besides suggestion to seek the help of a professional.

  • boys2men2soon
    June 23, 2013 at 10:29 PM

    Hi Kathy.  Welcome to the group.    My condolences on the loss of your loved one.   I understand how your life must seem overwhelming, a lot has changed for all of you.

    Now is the time to seek counseling.  Chris (and you) need to learn how to cope with the loss and the subsequent 'new roles'.    Though he is not the man of the house, his brothers will likely follow his lead, and if you allow disrespect.....they will walk all over you.    

    My Dh and I have two sons, now 23 & 19.    When they were little guys, and I had a tendency to be soft hearted, my Dh was die hard on respect.   He told me:  someday these boys will be bigger and stronger than you; and your best defense, your only control will come from plain & simple respect.    Tolerate nothing less.

  • bizzeemom2717
    June 24, 2013 at 1:01 AM
    Hugs and welcome to the group Kathy. Sorry about your loss sounds like you have a VERY full plate. I agree with the family counseling idea.

    Quoting Barabell:

    Hello, Kathy. Welcome to the group. I'm sorry about the loss of your finance.

    I think you and Chris need some family counseling. It's not OK to be verbally abused by your son. I don't know how to help with the situation besides suggestion to seek the help of a professional.

  • kathy95678
    June 24, 2013 at 2:55 AM
    Thank you all for your replys.we actually had therapy about 2 yrs ago and me and robert loved it the kids not so much.right before me and chris were gonna have a session together life happened and we never made it.after robert died i contacted the therapist we were seeing back then becouse i knew i needed the help and she already knew us so we wouldnt have to "start at the begining" shes agreed to see me. Now i just need to prep myself for the battle and honestly im afraid!


    Quoting bizzeemom2717:

    Hugs and welcome to the group Kathy. Sorry about your loss sounds like you have a VERY full plate. I agree with the family counseling idea.



    Quoting Barabell:

    Hello, Kathy. Welcome to the group. I'm sorry about the loss of your finance.

    I think you and Chris need some family counseling. It's not OK to be verbally abused by your son. I don't know how to help with the situation besides suggestion to seek the help of a professional.


  • HockeyDanceMom
    June 24, 2013 at 9:24 AM

    welcome

  • MrsBLB
    by MrsBLB
    June 24, 2013 at 9:32 AM

    Welcome Kathy.  I'm sorry for your loss.  ((HUGS))  Please don't feel like you are failing.  Family counseling would be great for y'all.  Please keep us updated, you are not alone here.

  • Barabell
    June 24, 2013 at 9:45 AM

    That's a great step. 

    hugs

    Quoting kathy95678:

    Thank you all for your replys.we actually had therapy about 2 yrs ago and me and robert loved it the kids not so much.right before me and chris were gonna have a session together life happened and we never made it.after robert died i contacted the therapist we were seeing back then becouse i knew i needed the help and she already knew us so we wouldnt have to "start at the begining" shes agreed to see me. Now i just need to prep myself for the battle and honestly im afraid!


    Quoting bizzeemom2717:

    Hugs and welcome to the group Kathy. Sorry about your loss sounds like you have a VERY full plate. I agree with the family counseling idea.



    Quoting Barabell:

    Hello, Kathy. Welcome to the group. I'm sorry about the loss of your finance.

    I think you and Chris need some family counseling. It's not OK to be verbally abused by your son. I don't know how to help with the situation besides suggestion to seek the help of a professional.



  • PurpleHazey
    June 24, 2013 at 11:11 AM

    Hi Kathy welcome to the group.

  • PurpleHazey
    June 24, 2013 at 11:16 AM

    I am so sorry for your loss, taking each day at a time with 5 boys will keep your mind very busy. I just love those teen boys because they are bursting with energy, 'boy do they keep you on your toes"

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