Moms with Teens

the3Rs
Am I being unreasonable?? (long)
by the3Rs
June 18, 2013 at 9:42 AM

My son is going to be in 9th grade - high school - in the Fall.

He has been in band since 5th grade, and 7th/8th grade band was taught by the high school band teacher.

Once he hit 7th grade, we never knew WHAT was going on.  She never sent home information letters regarding performances, dress code for those performances, how early they should be there prior to a performance, she didn't even send home any info. about a band trip they were expected to take 2 hours away - on a Sunday.

Her excuse?  They're old enough to relay that information to the parents.

I do agree (though I taught band for 13 years - middle & high school - and my principal was furious if I didn't send home an info letter prior to EVERY concert and at least 2 weeks in advance), however if SHE doesn't give them the information - or the right information - it makes it a challenge.

Throughout this past year she has skipped his weekly lesson at least 40% of the time - verified by both my son and the other members of his lesson group.  She sits in her office and never comes out - or she's just not there.  Her concerts end up not being what was advertised, they last for HOURS because she makes them restart, and she's just overall really awful.

At the end of the year - like the last couple of days of school - my son came home and told me there was going to be a band camp the 1st week of summer vacation.  He didn't know what time, or where they were meeting.  Just that it was happening.

Here's where I want to know if I'm being unreasonable:

There was NOTHING in the newsletter about this, nothing in the automated phone system that other teachers use to alert parents to activities, nothing via email, no note sent home (of course).  My son texted some other band kids who said they *think* it starts at 8:00am.

So, I drop him off at 7:50.  He texts and says he can't get in the building.  Kids are mulling around, then some teacher stops by (not the band teacher) and says it starts at 9:30.  I go back to pick him up and they see her drive up (this is around 8:15).  So, they stay, and he's texting me now at 8:40 saying she hasn't even started yet.

Am I wrong to think this is INSANE??  She has provided NO information regarding this camp, start/end times, etc.  She's late - or not?? - who knows since no one is sure when it starts - and has them just hanging out while she does GOD KNOWS WHAT.  To me this is absolutely unacceptable and I'd like to write or call her and express my concerns over her lack of organization and planning.  What would you do?

Replies

  • atlmom2
    by atlmom2
    June 18, 2013 at 9:50 AM
    In band myself. There were never letters home abour parades, concerts, competitions etc. We relayed all to parents. Our band camp was always the 2 weeks before school started, 3 weeks before for freshman. It was just known. Kids relayed it to parents.
  • Momoftwinkies
    June 18, 2013 at 9:53 AM
    She sounda lazy.
  • PinkButterfly66
    June 18, 2013 at 9:57 AM

    Why haven't you complained about her, long before now?  A teacher that doesn't show up to teach 40% of the time should be fired.

  • the3Rs
    by the3Rs
    June 18, 2013 at 10:16 AM

    I have complained - quite a bit.  She doesn't like me at all, lol.  But it has gotten us nowhere.  The principal is just as lazy as she is and doesn't like to make waves.  Regardless, she wouldn't get fired anyway because she is tenured - so unless she breaks the law - they can't get rid of her.

    This is the same teacher that gave my son an "F" for not attending a concert - which he DID attend.  That grade dropped his total GPA a few hundredths of a point below honor roll, which prevented him from being recognized at the awards ceremony for being on honor roll every quarter of his junior high career.  We had already complained about it, proved he was there and she agreed that she goofed and was going to have the report card re-run - but she didn't do it until the last day of school (this was for 3RD quarter, not 4th).

    Quoting PinkButterfly66:

    Why haven't you complained about her, long before now?  A teacher that doesn't show up to teach 40% of the time should be fired.


  • the3Rs
    by the3Rs
    June 18, 2013 at 10:18 AM

    Interesting.  I've never known a band teacher - at any level - simply not sending home information regarding performances, camps, etc.  Seems so unprofessional and lazy to me.

    Regardless, if that's the way she rolls, she should be providing the students with all of the information - but I've spoken with many, many parents - none of whom are exactly sure of anything, all with varying details.  So, she's obviously not communicating it well to the students either.

    Quoting atlmom2:

    In band myself. There were never letters home abour parades, concerts, competitions etc. We relayed all to parents. Our band camp was always the 2 weeks before school started, 3 weeks before for freshman. It was just known. Kids relayed it to parents.


  • atlmom2
    by atlmom2
    June 18, 2013 at 10:21 AM
    Mine had been the director for years and years. He was awesome.


    Quoting the3Rs:

    Interesting.  I've never known a band teacher - at any level - simply not sending home information regarding performances, camps, etc.  Seems so unprofessional and lazy to me.

    Regardless, if that's the way she rolls, she should be providing the students with all of the information - but I've spoken with many, many parents - none of whom are exactly sure of anything, all with varying details.  So, she's obviously not communicating it well to the students either.

    Quoting atlmom2:

    In band myself. There were never letters home abour parades, concerts, competitions etc. We relayed all to parents. Our band camp was always the 2 weeks before school started, 3 weeks before for freshman. It was just known. Kids relayed it to parents.



  • PinkButterfly66
    June 18, 2013 at 10:45 AM

    Take it to the school superintendant.  

    Quoting the3Rs:

    I have complained - quite a bit.  She doesn't like me at all, lol.  But it has gotten us nowhere.  The principal is just as lazy as she is and doesn't like to make waves.  Regardless, she wouldn't get fired anyway because she is tenured - so unless she breaks the law - they can't get rid of her.

    This is the same teacher that gave my son an "F" for not attending a concert - which he DID attend.  That grade dropped his total GPA a few hundredths of a point below honor roll, which prevented him from being recognized at the awards ceremony for being on honor roll every quarter of his junior high career.  We had already complained about it, proved he was there and she agreed that she goofed and was going to have the report card re-run - but she didn't do it until the last day of school (this was for 3RD quarter, not 4th).

    Quoting PinkButterfly66:

    Why haven't you complained about her, long before now?  A teacher that doesn't show up to teach 40% of the time should be fired.



  • mumsy2three
    June 18, 2013 at 11:38 AM

    My dd was not in band but she was in chorus (all of middle school and sophomore year), we (parents) never received anything about practices or performances from the teacher. The performances are listed on the school district calendar. Not sure exactly how band camp and things like that but I am sure it's similar to chorus. The info is relayed to students not the parents.

    I would discuss it directly with her when you pick your son up.

  • the3Rs
    by the3Rs
    June 18, 2013 at 11:42 AM

    If they were on our school calendar that would certainly help.  But, they're not.

    We have an automated phone system that many teachers use to inform parents of upcoming events.  Ironically, this teacher uses the system to alert us to band booster meetings - but never for actual band events.

    Quoting mumsy2three:

    My dd was not in band but she was in chorus (all of middle school and sophomore year), we (parents) never received anything about practices or performances from the teacher. The performances are listed on the school district calendar. Not sure exactly how band camp and things like that but I am sure it's similar to chorus. The info is relayed to students not the parents.

    I would discuss it directly with her when you pick your son up.


  • drfink
    by drfink
    June 18, 2013 at 1:13 PM

    Mine were never in band ,but their non sports activities we did not receive notices except for the final performance of the year...then it was basically a minute to minute breakdown.I know that the band ,choir and dance did this for the final performance because my teens were the techs and were given copies of thr handouts so they would know when the rehersals were.These teachers also emailed or called me to confirm I knew.I think it was because they were not members of the band ,choir or dance and they were male teenage techs....

     I can go to the school calendar and every practice and rehearsal is up .Theater has it's own private....parents and kids only website and  in m.s and h.s. the teachers post rehearsals ,who ,changes, info and the kids are expected to check daily.

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