Moms with Teens

FindersKeepers
Appropriate or Asking for trouble?
June 18, 2013 at 12:21 AM

My step kids go to a youth group that takes place on Friday evenings from 7pm to 11pm.   The "kids" that attend range in age from middle school to college (ages 11 to 20).   Some of the events are movies at the mall, overnight slumber parties, late night swimming and destination trips (skiing, amusement parks, ect.).   On these outings there is only one youth group pastor who is 24.   

Do you think this arragnement is appropriate?   Would you allow your 13yo to attend?

 

Do you think it is appropriate for a youth group to have kids from middle school through college doing late night and overnight activities together?
  • Only group members can vote in this poll.
  1. 23% - Yes, this is fine
  2. 59% - No, this is asking for trouble
  3. 16% - Other

Replies

  • sabrtooth1
    June 18, 2013 at 12:24 AM

    Troll alert.   Do you know how many times I have seen this SAME post--word for word?  For YEARS?   I have a VERY good memory.

  • FindersKeepers
    June 18, 2013 at 12:27 AM

     I promise that I am NOT a troll.

    These are my step kids and their mom has them go this youth group.... My DH and I think it is totally not appropriate, but their mom thinks it is fine because they religious kids are 'good kids'.

    Honestly, I was just wondering what some other moms would think


    Quoting sabrtooth1:

    Troll alert.   Do you know how many times I have seen this SAME post--word for word?  For YEARS?   I have a VERY good memory.


     

  • paganmommy4
    June 18, 2013 at 12:28 AM

    Religious kids still  have hormones

  • gdiamante
    June 18, 2013 at 12:36 AM

    We have a youth group with age ranges from middle school to high school. But you almost never see the older kids participating in it.

    I don't know that I'd have a problem, so I have to select "other." 

  • FindersKeepers
    June 18, 2013 at 1:29 AM

     When I grew up the youth groups were by school... middle school, high school and college each had their own... and to be a youth group leader you had to be at least 2 years older than the oldest kids in the group.  They wanted to avoid issues.  

    I know this will sound mean, but I honestly wonder WTH kind of weirdo college kids are still going to these things.   There are only 3 college kids, mostly high school kids and about 10 middle school.   


    Quoting gdiamante:

    We have a youth group with age ranges from middle school to high school. But you almost never see the older kids participating in it.

    I don't know that I'd have a problem, so I have to select "other." 


     

  • FindersKeepers
    June 18, 2013 at 1:30 AM

     Agree... this is too much temptation


    Quoting paganmommy4:

    Religious kids still  have hormones


     

  • GleekingOut
    June 18, 2013 at 2:04 AM


    Mine is 21 and would still go to that stuff. She's very very uncomfortable around girls her own age and prefers people on her own wave length - they normally end up being about 3 years younger than her. She has aspergers though and I expect that. Feel free to still say it's "weird" though

    Quoting FindersKeepers:

     When I grew up the youth groups were by school... middle school, high school and college each had their own... and to be a youth group leader you had to be at least 2 years older than the oldest kids in the group.  They wanted to avoid issues.  

    I know this will sound mean, but I honestly wonder WTH kind of weirdo college kids are still going to these things.   There are only 3 college kids, mostly high school kids and about 10 middle school.   


    Quoting gdiamante:

    We have a youth group with age ranges from middle school to high school. But you almost never see the older kids participating in it.

    I don't know that I'd have a problem, so I have to select "other." 





  • bizzeemom2717
    Jen
    June 18, 2013 at 3:12 AM
    No way, too big of an age gap. Also sorry but if a college boy or girl feels awkward around their own age I still don't think it's appropriate for them to hang with younger kids. Asking for trouble.
  • MomofSCMJJA
    June 18, 2013 at 3:56 AM

    I would not allow my daughter to go unless there was a female chaperone along as well if it was overnight.  There should ALWAYS be two adult chaperones. ALWAYS.  If only so there will be a second set of eyes, but also to ensure that the other ADULT is supervised as well.  When I was a scout leader our church had a policy that there always had to be two adults if there were children around.  We would not even allow parents to drop off the kids unless both leaders were pesent.  The parent had to stay until then.  From time to time I would have a den leader who didn't think they needed to since they only had a handful of boys in their den.  I would ask "If it came to it, who would take the stand in your favor if you were accused of something?  Who would be there to insist that nothing could have happened because there was no opportunity?"  When I put it that way, they usually understood better.  Even if you trust the youth pastor, I would still want to make sure there was double coverage-even if I had to volunteer myself.

  • lakerfan420
    June 18, 2013 at 4:29 AM
    How well do you know the group? I got involved with a church group around age 14. The youth services were mixed between middle school up through the college aged kids who still attended. My sister was one of those kids until she started her own family at 20, I'm 4.5 younger than her. Two of our youth leaders (who were older high school at the time) dated for years and everybody except the youth pastors (who really did care and had the youth group's best intentions at heart) knew they were sleeping together. Looking back, I can see how inappropriate that was, especially since they were supposed to be the model couple proving that teenagers could be together but delay intimacy. All that did was prove to me that even religious kids still have hormones and that they may act out on them just like secular kids. I met my dh there when I was 16, he was 20 and dating the senior pastor's daughter, who was also my age. That's how laid back the staff was. They broke up and we started dating when I was 17. We broke our promise not to sleep with each other once (we were trying the born again virgin thing) and I had my now 15 year old dd just before I turned 18. That probably didn't put your mind at ease, but again, how well do you know this group? Aside from those examples, most of the kids were really good kids. Or at least anything else was unknown to anyone else.

Moms with Teens