Moms with Teens

s2354125
What should I let my daughter and her sister talk about when they visit at jail?
May 22, 2013 at 1:41 AM

I am taking my 16 year old daughter to visit her 21 year old sister in jail who is there for one year for a hit and run DUI. I was against taking her since I didn't want her to be in that prison environment but I have decided to let her. One thing I wonder is what they can talk about in their short visiting period. Also, what should I tell my younger daughter in advance? Some say to use this as a "learning experience" for my younger daughter. What does that mean?

Replies

  • GleekingOut
    May 22, 2013 at 2:30 AM
    You don't have to 'let' them talk about anything. I believe they have the right to decide that themselves. School, friends, jobs etc. and a learning experience would be during the trip point out that jail is not a good place, it is a hard, tough environment and it is NOT a holiday.
  • boys2men2soon
    May 22, 2013 at 8:21 PM

    They can talk about whatever they choose to discuss.      Tell your 16 year old what to expect when she arrives.   What procedures she may have to go through.... the staff may search her purse and even her person (I have never visisted anyone in jail, so I don't know the details).   

    As for the learning experience:   Your DD will see that her sister has lost her freedom!  She can't come and go as she pleases, her entire day is likely on a set schedule.... she wakes, showers, eats, excercises, sleeps when she is told.   She is locked up with little or no privacy, surrounded by criminals and guarded by armed people.         That in itself should be a huge learning experience!

  • luckysevenwow
    May 23, 2013 at 12:26 AM

    They talk about whatever topic they want to talk about, just like they would do if DD wasn't locked up.

    As for the learning expirience...just going there is a life lesson.

  • s2354125
    May 23, 2013 at 11:18 PM

    I have read that seeing an older sibling or role model in that position could be a bad influence or image

  • 02nana07
    Ida
    May 23, 2013 at 11:59 PM

     I know when I was going to see my brother they wanted to do a search I said never mind I will see him when he gets out LOL.  According to the procedure there she might not want to visit when she gets there.

  • Lorelai_Nicole
    May 24, 2013 at 12:03 AM
    Make sure you know all the rules of the jail before you go. I visited my brother many times (grand theft auto, ugh) and although that was stricter because it was prison, there are still very strict rules. For his prison, for example, there were rules about what you could and could not wear. You couldn't bring your purse; only your car keys and ID, and IIRC they kept them at the desk. I was never searched, but I did have to go through a metal detector. As far as discussion topics, let them talk about whatever they want. It's not like they'll be discussing illegal stuff.
  • fammatthews4
    May 24, 2013 at 8:59 AM
    I would let them talk about whatever they want to talk about. I think just bring there and having your older daughter describing her day and lack of freedom will serve as a learning experience.
  • drfink
    by drfink
    May 24, 2013 at 2:22 PM


    Quoting s2354125:

    I have read that seeing an older sibling or role model in that position could be a bad influence or image

    only somehow if the prison is glamorous and your older daughter is enjoying her time there.Do you see and communicate with her sister...does she seem like she would like to be almost anywhere but prison? If this is the case I would think the coldness and prison atmosphere would have an opposite effect on your younger daughter.

  • drfink
    by drfink
    May 24, 2013 at 2:22 PM


    Quoting fammatthews4:

    I would let them talk about whatever they want to talk about. I think just bring there and having your older daughter describing her day and lack of freedom will serve as a learning experience.

    agree !

  • wickedstepjenn
    May 26, 2013 at 3:14 AM
    Well I'd suggest if she asked me what should she talk about things that are normal day to day. Like how the pets are how school is maybe gossip about boys.
    My birth father is in prison since I was 13 I went and visited him 3 times. Twice in jail the search wasn't too bad. You do get really checked but I suggest bringing as little as possible with you. Wear simple clothes the less metal the better on your person. Prison visit was traumatizing to me that's why I haven't visited since. Hes in a rough one and the visiting area was a caged lawn area. Some scary dudes were in there and we all were in this glorified dog run.
    Good luck with the visit.

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