Moms with Teens

daisykat
Would this make you furious?
April 25, 2013 at 10:10 PM
I think my husband has a temper problem. Here's the latest example, and tell me if you would react the same way.

Last night, my husband was adding our 16-year-old son to our auto insurance policy. He went into our son's room and asked for his driver's license. Our son asked "why?" My husband said, "No, not WHY. I don't need to explain the reasons to you. Just hand me your license." My son looked all confused and said, "But why? What's going on?" Well, my husband lost it. He responded with God f'ing dammit, give me your f'ing license. Jesus Christ, I need it for something. F'ing godammit, don't challenge me and just lie there, you should be handing me your f'ing license! Son was freaked out and gave it to him, while hubby walked away muttering nothing but curse words. He was angry again when I told him he overreacted, what is WRONG with you. More cursing until I had to walk out of the room.

This is how he's been for years. I can't stand the cursing and temper anymore. I've put up with it for so long, and I'm at the end of my rope. What he did last night just pushed me even farther to the end. Forget counseling, he thinks I need it but he's perfect. He even said that once, that he has NO emotional issues, that he is a perfectly balanced individual. What to do? We've been together 17 years. And yes, he's always had a bad temper. When we were dating I didn't see it, it was only about a year after we were married it began to surface.

Replies

  • boys2men2soon
    April 25, 2013 at 10:18 PM

    Oh yeah. I would have a BIG problem with that.    Nobody speaks to me or my kids like that.   My Dh curses, but he doesn't yell.

    I would turn the table on him.... walk into the room and say "Let me have your wallet".  If he asks why, react in the same way he did with your son.   Yell, scream, curse...but do not answer the question.   It may give him food for thought?   

    Perhaps you should video tape or record him having his little tantrums.   He may be quite surprised to actually witness how ignorant he sounds.

  • luckysevenwow
    April 25, 2013 at 10:59 PM

    I wished I had advice, but I don't cause if my husband acted that way...he'd be eating his teeth. 

  • Mrs_Nelson
    April 25, 2013 at 11:04 PM
    I agree with the video tape idea. There is a possibility that he has no idea how bad he sounds.
  • atlmom2
    by atlmom2
    April 25, 2013 at 11:12 PM
    Your husband sounds awful. Why are you with him?
    2 issues though. Your son shouldn't have said why over and over like a 2 yo.
  • daisykat
    April 25, 2013 at 11:44 PM
    Quoting atlmom2:

    Your husband sounds awful. Why are you with him?
    2 issues though. Your son shouldn't have said why over and over like a 2 yo.



    I think it was a natural reaction when his dad asked for his license. He innocently asked why. When my hubby immediately got mad, that's why my kid asked why the second time, because with hubby's reaction he was convinced he'd done something wrong and hubby was taking it away. He only asked twice. But that was his problem with it- hubby felt that the moment he asked, our son should have jumped up and gave it to him without question. I get his point but the cursing fits are getting to be a bit too much to handle. I just feel emotionally raw right now.

    I'm with him because I have children with him, there are things I love about him, like his sarcastic sense of humor, and I've been with him since I was 22 (he's 10 yrs older) and I guess he's a carbon copy of my father.
  • daisykat
    April 25, 2013 at 11:46 PM
    BUMP
  • bluelola
    April 25, 2013 at 11:47 PM

    I actually don't think her son acted like a 2 year old.  He was just asking why? It seems more like her husband was over the top.

    Sorry daisykat..... just was responding to pp. Yes, I would be upset and it sounds like it has been going on for a long time.  

  • gdiamante
    April 25, 2013 at 11:51 PM

    Videotape your husband in the next tirade. Then go with him and the recording to his doctor.

    There are health issues which can cause these kinds of personality issues, and the patient doesn't realize it's going on. Had that problem with my dad after his first bypass surgery. He became an extremely nasty person. Mom told the doctor, Dad went on Paxil, all better after that.

  • daisykat
    April 25, 2013 at 11:54 PM
    Quoting boys2men2soon:

    Oh yeah. I would have a BIG problem with that.    Nobody speaks to me or my kids like that.   My Dh curses, but he doesn't yell.

    I would turn the table on him.... walk into the room and say "Let me have your wallet".  If he asks why, react in the same way he did with your son.   Yell, scream, curse...but do not answer the question.   It may give him food for thought?   

    Perhaps you should video tape or record him having his little tantrums.   He may be quite surprised to actually witness how ignorant he sounds.




    The recording thing is a brilliant idea. I suspect I know just how he'll react, though. I did this once a few years ago when he left me a pissed off voice mail. I played it back on speaker phone so he could hear. He was like, "yeah? You know, you get mad to." And then I get the silent treatment and the death stare for the rest of the day. The other thing that drives me insane is that he talks to himself. I'll be 12 feet away in the kitchen and he'll be sitting on the couch with the tv on, muttering to himself in an angry manner. I'll interrupt and say, "Who's the mental recipient of THAT lecture?" He'll just say, "whatever," and then 2 minutes later he's doing it again.
  • gdiamante
    April 25, 2013 at 11:58 PM


    Quoting daisykat:

    Quoting boys2men2soon:

    Oh yeah. I would have a BIG problem with that.    Nobody speaks to me or my kids like that.   My Dh curses, but he doesn't yell.

    I would turn the table on him.... walk into the room and say "Let me have your wallet".  If he asks why, react in the same way he did with your son.   Yell, scream, curse...but do not answer the question.   It may give him food for thought?   

    Perhaps you should video tape or record him having his little tantrums.   He may be quite surprised to actually witness how ignorant he sounds.


    The recording thing is a brilliant idea. I suspect I know just how he'll react, though. I did this once a few years ago when he left me a pissed off voice mail. I played it back on speaker phone so he could hear. He was like, "yeah? You know, you get mad to." And then I get the silent treatment and the death stare for the rest of the day. The other thing that drives me insane is that he talks to himself. I'll be 12 feet away in the kitchen and he'll be sitting on the couch with the tv on, muttering to himself in an angry manner. I'll interrupt and say, "Who's the mental recipient of THAT lecture?" He'll just say, "whatever," and then 2 minutes later he's doing it again.

    This convinces me even more there's a mental health issue going on here.

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