Moms with Teens

parkslope
Found birth control pills in 14 yr old book bag
February 5, 2013 at 11:15 PM
I have my 14 yr old sister for two years now since our mom pass away n my sister always been boy crazy by the age of 9 n we ( our mom when she was alive n brother n myself ) have spoken to her many times about the birds n the bees we spoken to her about having respect for her self and not to let boys talk her into things she shouldn't do, with that being said it hasn't been easy for her nor I with this new adjustment in the living station n she has been giving problems with school here n there, I went in to her book bag to get something while she was in the shower n found birth control pills I'm freaked about this, I open it n she has been using it, all this behind my back n she must of got it from her school nurse..,, I just don't know what to do next 1. Scream at her because now I think she's been having intercourse n make her throw out the pills or 2. Let her keep it n talk about sex n about the pills as well? But to me if I tell her to stay with the birth control I feel like I'm saying continue having sex n just take the pills n that's what I don't want her to think I'm saying
I'm just so lost in this I have a 7 yr old n 1 yr old I wasn't ready for this now I was ready for all the craziness that comes with raising a teen girl.

Replies

  • bizzeemom2717
    Jen
    February 5, 2013 at 11:43 PM
    Talk with her, don't scream, open honest communication a must now. If she is having sex no way would I take away the birth control. She's way too young I agree, I would focus on what got her to the point of having sex with a boy at such a young age, I would also def step up the supervision so that she was supervised by an adult at ALL times so it no longer happens. Just because she started having sex does NOT mean you condone it or have to make it ok, at 14 no way
  • GleekingOut
    February 5, 2013 at 11:47 PM

    I would let her keep using the pills (because if she *does* continue to have intercourse behind your back well you really don't want a baby). BUT in saying so; I would not give her the opportunity to have sex. She's 14. No dates unless they are chaperoned by YOU. She goes to no friend's house unless you talk to the parents and confirm that they will be there the entire time, that there will be no boys, etc and if you are not satisfied tell her you WILL bring her home right then and there regardless of the embarrassment. She goes nowhere but school and home without your permission, you will now be checking all cell phones/facebook/etc and you will be having a talk (preferably in the car where she can't run away) about the pill, birth control, sex, emotions etc. give her no opportunity whatsoever to be alone with a boy, I would even make sure her window can't open to allow someone in, and take her door off the hinge and just put a curtain across it.

  • 02nana07
    Ida
    February 6, 2013 at 12:02 AM

     If she is going to have sex I would rather find pills than a positive pregnancy test.  With that said you need to talk about condoms as the pill won't protect  her against an STD.

  • christinad612
    February 6, 2013 at 12:07 AM
    Talk to her but do not take the pills away. She's young and will.continue to.have sex, wouldn't you rather her do it safely? Besides you want her to feel that she can come to you in.future. Also make her an appt with an obgyn. If she's sexually.active she needs to go.
  • graybealgirl
    February 6, 2013 at 12:11 AM



    Quoting 02nana07:

     If she is going to have sex I would rather find pills than a positive pregnancy test.  With that said you need to talk about condoms as the pill won't protect  her against an STD.


  • parkslope
    February 6, 2013 at 12:40 AM
    Thank yous ladies for your advice I needed that
    Just a few other things I forgot to say she hasn't had a cell phone in about a year ( it got taken away for cutting school) but she does have an iPod n lab top she doesn't go over friends houses only to family house, she won't open up to me she has told me many times, I feel she is looking for love in all the wrong places ( well she thinks it's love) being that our mom pass n she doesn't have a dad in her life, I'm thinking that's the reason n she been cutting school I have punish her n taken many things away from her n she goes to therapy but it seem as if nothing is working
  • GleekingOut
    February 6, 2013 at 2:29 AM

     

    No laptop except for school work IN FRONT OF YOU. and disable the internet/buying apps on the ipod :)

    Quoting parkslope:

    Thank yous ladies for your advice I needed that
    Just a few other things I forgot to say she hasn't had a cell phone in about a year ( it got taken away for cutting school) but she does have an iPod n lab top she doesn't go over friends houses only to family house, she won't open up to me she has told me many times, I feel she is looking for love in all the wrong places ( well she thinks it's love) being that our mom pass n she doesn't have a dad in her life, I'm thinking that's the reason n she been cutting school I have punish her n taken many things away from her n she goes to therapy but it seem as if nothing is working



  • suesues
    by suesues
    February 6, 2013 at 8:29 AM

    keep her on the pill and get her to the dr for a checkup and educate her about diseases

  • atlmom2
    by atlmom2
    February 6, 2013 at 8:40 AM
    Wow, way too young. Wonder how early she really did have sex. I would have her checked for std's. Bet she is not using condoms also.
  • fantasticfour
    February 6, 2013 at 9:18 AM

    One reason I don't agree with schools giving birth control out.  I don't have any advice for you, sorry.

Moms with Teens