Moms with Teens

LoveonHollySt
UPDATE - Teen Giving Up On Grades
February 5, 2013 at 4:21 PM

Before :

Ladies I need some help!!!  My 15 yr old ss just got his report card today. (not the best)  He got 2 F's in English and History, 1 A, 3 B's, and 2 C's.  The classes mentioned have been hard subjects for him in the past.  He is more of a numbers person.  With these grades and his attitude I am worried.  He looked totaly defeated with his head down when he walked in today.  How am I supposed to help him?  He refused tutoring, my help, teacher's help.  I am lost.  I need to nip this before it gets worse like I fear it will.

NOW: 

DH was finally able to get SS to open up.  He told him that he was upset around that time because that was when his Grandmother had gotten really sick and was in and out of the hospital.  (She was his primary mother figure throughout his early childhood.)  It was also around the same time when she was forced to move to an area where she had more family support due to her illness.  We were able to get him to talk to teachers and he is getting help in the subjects he was having a hard time.  I continue to check his grades on the net now that I have it and have become more involved in his school career.  I just wanted to say thank you to all who gave advice.  We are doing better now and owe it to you.

Replies

  • App123
    by App123
    February 5, 2013 at 4:26 PM

    Why is he given the option to refuse tutoring or the teacher's help?  Let him know that until the grades are up, he is getting extra help.  Also, does your high school have any trade programs that he might be interested in getting into?  Maybe if he likes the work, like math, he will excel.

  • atlmom2
    by atlmom2
    February 5, 2013 at 4:27 PM
    He has no choice but to get help. Did he do his best or just refused to study at all??
  • CrazyLife1996
    February 5, 2013 at 4:29 PM
    In my home tutoring wouldn't be a choice in this situation. We also restrict everything until the grades improve.

    Sometimes a new point of view is exactly what they need to understand the information.
  • luckysevenwow
    February 5, 2013 at 5:57 PM

    I don't know what it is about English and boys, but boys just seem to really struggle in it. My oldest boy liked numbers also, those 2 subjects were the worst for him. To the point he had to re-due a few his senior year. It wasn't for lack of effort though. Then my other son LOVED history, but was never able to remember the quantity of information (some learning disabilities).

    If you have the means, then tutoring would not be optional. You are in charge of your house and if you say he is getting it, then he is getting it. 

    Another suggestion that did help my son make it through his senior year was finding online resources to help. So if they were discussing, I don't know,  a particular time in history I would find documentaries to help him give it a visual. I do this with my younger kids that I homeschool. Same for English...look up what you are trying to find and add 'for dummies' behind it and you'd be surprised what you can find. I do this for myself in certain subjects for the younger ones. More refresher then anything, but it works.

  • Carmel63
    February 5, 2013 at 6:21 PM

    In my house the tutoring would not be a choice he would be allowed to make.

  • hollydaze1974
    February 5, 2013 at 6:34 PM
    You are mom, he cannot refused a teacher's help or tutoring unless you allow it. He may have given up, but if you give up, too, then he IS defeated. As mom, you still have control .... MAKE him accept the help being offered, electronics be gone if he gives you any lip. Mom says it, it shall be done!
    Think of the possible change in his attitude when the grade changes?

    Keep up with his grades through the teachers. With all of our technology, no parent or student should ever be surprised by a report card.
  • bluelola
    February 5, 2013 at 6:51 PM

    Most of my son's teachers email on a regular basis so we know how he is doing, if assignments have not been handed in, if his grade has slipped from an A to a B during the term.  It allows us to talk to him about why something might not have been handed in or why his grade dropped.  I agree with the other posters, refusing tutoring and/or teacher's help would not be an option.  I would take away the computer, xbox, whatever so he could concentrate on studying and bring the grade (s) up.   

  • sabrtooth1
    February 5, 2013 at 7:03 PM

    If my kid walked in with 2 F's, they would NOT be getting a Sweet16 blow out party, like you have indicated in another post.  A kid who refuses tutoring, teacher help, & parent help, would ALSO find themselves WITHOUT Driver's Ed, a permit, any electronic device, any spending money, any time with friends.  He would also be permanently cemented to a kitchen chair, while I watch him do his homework, and study for tests.  REFUSE?  Not in THIS house!

  • LoveonHollySt
    February 11, 2013 at 1:18 PM

    bump

  • fantasticfour
    February 11, 2013 at 2:22 PM

    Glad things are going better.

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