Moms with Teens

mommasboyz17
My DD and Her BFs Mom!!
December 30, 2012 at 8:40 PM
My dd is closer to her bfs mom than me she wont talk to me. She wants to go hang out over there all the time. I try to talk to her she wont open up to me. On thanksgiving she was broke up with him I found cuts on her legs yes she was cutting herself because of her breaking up with him and bullies school. i did talk to her then and told her she didnt want scars forever. She hasnt done it anymore. What should I do should I be thankful that she has someone to talk to?? Why dose it feel so horriable.

Replies

  • fantasticfour
    December 30, 2012 at 9:17 PM

    If feels bad when you feel that your kids can't talk to you and would rather talk to someone else.  Don't feel too bad though, I felt closer to my grandmother than I did my mom my entire life.  Do you and her grandmother have a good relationship?  Can you talk to her and see if she will give you the heads up if there is anything to look out for?

  • Barabell
    December 31, 2012 at 10:48 AM

    How old is your daughter?

    If I was in your place, I would put her in therapy for the cutting.

  • hopealways4019
    December 31, 2012 at 5:40 PM
    She needs to cutback how much time she spending with the opposite sex. She young and emotionally to weak. Maybe see if she wanna go get counseling? Also talk to her, tell her she young and beautiful, and some boys are silly. Eventually she will find someone who truly loves her.
  • fammatthews4
    December 31, 2012 at 6:25 PM

    I think it is important for teens to have adults to open up to even if it isn't their parents.  So yes be happy she has someone she can talk to but you should also consider counceling to get to the bottom of the cutting.

  • RubyQ
    by RubyQ
    January 1, 2013 at 12:22 PM

    I think you feel horrible because, as moms, we want to, and imagine ourselves to be, everything or 'enough' for our children. particularly when it comes to confiding in us. But the truth is, we can't be this, all the time, through all there different stages. part of growing up is new relationships with other adults--teachers, coaches, friends' parents, etc.

     Is your daughter still broken-up with this woman's son? Maybe she is still trying to befriend the mom as a way of staying close to the boy?

     Is the Mom purposely encouraging your daughter to be distant with you in any way? Like trying to get kids to end bad relationships, telling her she can't see the other mom may only make her want to be close to her more. But you can remind your daughter that someone who would willingly encourage a child to separate from their relationship with their parent most likely doesn't have their best interests at heart. At least that might give her something to think about and make her come to a good conclusion on her own.

  • tyfry7496
    January 1, 2013 at 12:41 PM
    Exactly!!!

    Quoting fammatthews4:

    I think it is important for teens to have adults to open up to even if it isn't their parents.  So yes be happy she has someone she can talk to but you should also consider counceling to get to the bottom of the cutting.

  • kaitybird
    January 2, 2013 at 10:03 PM

    Counseling on her own and maybe you sit in on a few sessions with her.  WE had to put our daughter in counseling last year as she was cutting herself and making some not so smart choices.  The sessions that I sat in on were very eye opening for me.  I heard things I was ready nor did I want to hear but I listened and I took something away from the sessions that is more valuable than anything.  I now have my daughter back and we have a great relationship.  It is far from perfect and we still have our moments, but now we talk about everything and I mean everything no matter how hard it is for my ears to hear.  We work through issues that she is having and we work to find solutions instead of what she was doing.  A journal has helped so much also as when she is angry or needs to get something out she writes in it.  We also find that helps us when things are not so easy to talk about.  This doesn't work for everyone, but it does work for us.  

    For most the issues and problems are always going to be there.  You just find a different solutions.  You also need to find the "why" are you doing this to yourself.  For us, we also made the school aware of one student that has been a problem for our daughter for over a year.  As this person's mother took it upon herself to confront my child and blame everything on my child even though her daughter is the one who is to blame for most things.  WE just found a different path other than the one that we really wanted to take.  :)

    Good luck to you and your daughter!  

     

  • drfink
    by drfink
    January 2, 2013 at 10:34 PM

     agree

    Quoting tyfry7496:

    Exactly!!!

    Quoting fammatthews4:

    I think it is important for teens to have adults to open up to even if it isn't their parents.  So yes be happy she has someone she can talk to but you should also consider counceling to get to the bottom of the cutting.

     

  • TranquilMind
    January 3, 2013 at 3:47 AM

    I'm sorry.  She needs some help if she is hurting herself.

  • PurpleHazey
    January 3, 2013 at 4:35 AM

    Welcome, I say if she is cutting go get her some help.

Moms with Teens