So she is on meds for depression, but she still acts out on occassion if she doesn't get her way. I want to be stern with her, sometimes I drop the ball. How do I get past parenting out of guilt? I feel like her unhappiness is all my fault. I know it's not, but I can't help feeling like I should have all the answers. As her parent I want her to be happy. Any advise for a mom wishing she would have done something sooner. I saw her acting out but didn't know what exactly was wrong. I feel so guilty.
December 26, 2012 at 7:14 PM
I understand , my daughter has generalized anxiety disorder,and a couple years back was diagnosed with aspergers,.this anxiety started as far back as I can remember. I always thought there was something else I can do, because when your child hurts, you feel helpless, but you are not. some of the things we did and are doing are, counseling, anxiety meds, and diet. I know her diet we have her on helps so much, it is called the gaps diet, and she loves the food. I think these things combined with support and understanding go a long way. over the past 2 years she has come so far. just love her for who she is and no nothing is your fault, some of us are just wired differently. keep trying different things and see what works for her, I know our daughter was seeing her counselor once a week for awhile, when her anxiety was high, but now she goes once every two weeks and has been seeing her for four years. anyway head up and things will get better with communication and understanding.
by sabrtooth1December 26, 2012 at 7:19 PM
Get counseling for yourself. Get family counseling, so you and your daughter ser seen together.
by lancet98December 26, 2012 at 7:19 PM
to the OP - teenage depression actually is very hard to spot - it doesn't always follow the typical picture, and teens have what is called ah...'fluid defenses', meaning their moods and reactions can change rapidly even without depression. Honestly, I was going to commend you for finding it at all.
I think a lot of us parent out of guilt at times because we want our kids to be happy. I have done it and even now, if I say no to something because it's a punishment, I feel bad but realize I am not doing my kids any favours by giving in after I have said no. I imagine it must be very difficult when a child/teen is depressed so you want them to be happy because they already suffer from depression, but it's not your fault and it's not her fault. Just keep loving her, but be her parent and set the boundaries when they need to be set.