Moms with Teens
Hi ladies,
I am not in this group because my kids are still youngens' but we are a host family to a 16 year old girl from Germany who is here learning english and going to high school for 6 months.
She is your normal surly, miserable, lazy teen;)lol But my question is.......she has a male friend that she met through the program on the plane over here. They have been in contact a few times and she has met him 2 times now to go shopping here in the city. He lives just over an hour away in a ski resort town. When she came back from an afternoon with him on Saturday she informed us she would like to spend the weekend at his place(with his host family) in the resort town. To go snowboarding she says.
Now I am completely against this. I think she is waaaaaaaaaaaaaay to young to even consider this and I have said no but sent an email to her mother after she went ballistic because I said it was inappropriate. Am I completely out of line here? I would never let my daughter do something like this. She tells me her mother will let her but I am still waiting to hear back from her.
Thanks for your input ladies:)
Replies
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First of all I would not have sent the letter to her mother. She knew when she came to be a student here she would have to follow the rules of her host parents. The answer is no. You wouldn't want to be the one responsible for sending home a knocked up kid would you?
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Quoting atlmom2:
Her parents need to ok that. Her real parents.That was my thought, too many diff cultural considerations
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No, we wouldn't allow that.
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We hosted German exchange students of the same age, and what I found out is that they really weren't interested in doing the things my dd and her friends were doing. At home, they are able to legally drink and go to clubs, which they did frequently. They also had different attitudes about sexual relationships than my dd and her friends. They acted much older, and were very bored with things like going to the movies, the mall, bowling, etc... I wasn't going to let them drink here, and I wasn't going to have them hanging out with people late and well past my dd's curfew. They actually requested to move from our home to another host where apparently they had more freedom.
I was glad they went. They were whiny and complaining. They didn't like American food. We live in So Cal, so I took them to the beach and they complained that it was hot, and they couldn't swim in salt water without goggles! We took them to Hollywood and they were bored. They had no interest in anything we suggested. Good riddance!
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your house your rules talk to her family and the school because you will be held responsible in the end
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Is it possible to make it a family trip and just go up there for the day. It may be something your whole family enjoys. -
Quoting DarlaHood:
We hosted German exchange students of the same age, and what I found out is that they really weren't interested in doing the things my dd and her friends were doing. At home, they are able to legally drink and go to clubs, which they did frequently. They also had different attitudes about sexual relationships than my dd and her friends. They acted much older, and were very bored with things like going to the movies, the mall, bowling, etc... I wasn't going to let them drink here, and I wasn't going to have them hanging out with people late and well past my dd's curfew. They actually requested to move from our home to another host where apparently they had more freedom.
I was glad they went. They were whiny and complaining. They didn't like American food. We live in So Cal, so I took them to the beach and they complained that it was hot, and they couldn't swim in salt water without goggles! We took them to Hollywood and they were bored. They had no interest in anything we suggested. Good riddance!
Yes that seems to be the attitude of my student as well. She is not at all interested in doing anything with us and complains about everything. The beach was too hot in the summer, the ski hill in town too cold. Picks at her food unless it is junk food. She is very interested in boys though. lol
She scoffed at me when I told her she had to be home at midnight. Like it was completely unreasonable of me to even ask.
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I would be unemotional and say no, my kids wouldn't be allowed to go overnight with a boy's family, and you are part of this family and our rules apply to you as well. She's on loan. If she doesn't like living with you, or she becomes abusive or unruly, a change in host family can be requested.
I would be in touch with the program and her parents if she started doing things that concerned you. The program has some liability for her safety and well being.
I always thought exchange students were polite! They are living with a host family as a guest member of the family. Wow. If they are this way with strangers, can you imagine what little pains they must have been at home with their own family? I wonder what percent of exchange students are doing this in part b/c their parents were thinking "yeah! a break from the little beast!"
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I'd say "Hell no, you're not going!" She signed up to be an exchange student, she needs to abide by the host family's rules.
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My dd was friends with sever al exchange students. It is a huge adjustment for the kids who have lots of freedoms. Put yourself in their shoes? I mean they do know rules will be stricter. We took my dd's friend to the mall of America for the weekend. She loved it, but switched host families. She did not get along with the first.
Quoting annie2244:
I would be unemotional and say no, my kids wouldn't be allowed to go overnight with a boy's family, and you are part of this family and our rules apply to you as well. She's on loan. If she doesn't like living with you, or she becomes abusive or unruly, a change in host family can be requested.
I would be in touch with the program and her parents if she started doing things that concerned you. The program has some liability for her safety and well being.
I always thought exchange students were polite! They are living with a host family as a guest member of the family. Wow. If they are this way with strangers, can you imagine what little pains they must have been at home with their own family? I wonder what percent of exchange students are doing this in part b/c their parents were thinking "yeah! a break from the little beast!"