I am not in this group because my kids are still youngens' but we are a host family to a 16 year old girl from Germany who is here learning english and going to high school for 6 months.
She is your normal surly, miserable, lazy teen;)lol But my question is.......she has a male friend that she met through the program on the plane over here. They have been in contact a few times and she has met him 2 times now to go shopping here in the city. He lives just over an hour away in a ski resort town. When she came back from an afternoon with him on Saturday she informed us she would like to spend the weekend at his place(with his host family) in the resort town. To go snowboarding she says.
Now I am completely against this. I think she is waaaaaaaaaaaaaay to young to even consider this and I have said no but sent an email to her mother after she went ballistic because I said it was inappropriate. Am I completely out of line here? I would never let my daughter do something like this. She tells me her mother will let her but I am still waiting to hear back from her.
Thanks for your input ladies:)
by atlmom2December 10, 2012 at 5:23 PM
Well I know that a lot of families in Germany are more open about that type of thing, but while in your home she should respect and abide by your rules. I wouldn't allow a 16 year old that I was responsible for to do that. I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. Smart to email her mom about it!
Kids go clubbing at 15-16 in Italy and probably Germany also. Remember they don't really have a drinking age over there. Things are way more lax than we are here about everything.
December 10, 2012 at 5:44 PM
I agree, her real mom probably will let her. As long as you contact his host family, I dn't really see what the big deal is. There really is no reason to assume the worst possible scenario.
by myoldest1999December 10, 2012 at 5:50 PMWait on her mothers response.
by tyfry7496December 10, 2012 at 6:18 PMI agree. I'd allow it as long as there is adult supervision and separate sleeping areas.
Her parents need to ok that. Her real parents.
December 10, 2012 at 6:53 PM
Plus you are responsible for someone else's child. I believe they have to abide by their hosts rules so long as they are within limits. Say that this is something that is very concerning to you because after all you wouldn't have the full rights to discipline her if things do not go well with what she does. You are there as a host to guide. You cannot do so if you are put in a uncomfortable state by the child.
Ofcourse if her parents say otherwise, its something else. But for me personally I would still not be comfortable with it. Maybe they need to find someone who is best suited to accomodate that situation if it is not you. I would not bend my house rules for a person who is living with me temporaily but again that me.
by drfinkDecember 10, 2012 at 7:45 PM
We have had a couple of friends host from several European countries.They all were surprised but every teen showed up with a good supply of condoms.They grow up in a different culture ...let her parents be the guide.Most of the kids were nice ,friendly ,homework doing kids.
by 3mom627December 10, 2012 at 8:00 PM
Wow! Sounds like you are in almost the same situation we are in with our 13 year old foster daughter. There are rules that come with her, but she chose not to follow them. It is a really tough call, because you are responsible for her. I would contact the boys parents and make them aware that you are hosting her and are responsible for her while in the US. I think after dicussing it with her mother and the boyfriend's mother, I would let her go and hope for the best. Good luck.
December 10, 2012 at 9:55 PM
Just heard from her mom. She told her mom she was only going for the day. No mention of staying overnight. Her mom has emailed her and I hear her in her room pitchin a fit now. Oh boy
December 10, 2012 at 10:14 PM
This is not just about the chance that she will have sex with this boy. I am also concerned of the party that I am sure she will go to where drugs and alcohol will no doubt be present. She has described this boy as "always wanting to make a party' and this town is known for it.
So really it's sex, drugs and alcohol I am concerned about. I don't know this girl well enough to know how she would handle herself in that situation.