Moms with Teens

Allmermommy12
Please help me with her!!!
December 5, 2012 at 12:08 PM

I have a 15 year old step-daughter who is always lying to everyone & stealing from her own family. Not to long ago she has CPS in my home 2 days in one week. The first time she went to the school and told them "My step-mom beats the hell out of me." Then CPS came in the home to investigate closed the case right away saying they know that was not happening in our home. The very next day she goes back to the school saying "I beat the hell out of her again & now I am burning her with cigarettes." CPS comes into the home again & once again closes the case. I am not abusive to my children and neither is my husband. We are strict parents and inforce the rules that you will come home do your homework & then do a few easy chores (dishes,sweep,dust,etc.) nothing that 12 & 15 year olds can not do. They also need to wash whatever clothing they may need or want for school and clean there own rooms. Is that to much to ask? They then can do whatever they want as long as we know where they are and are home before 7pm on school nights and 10 pm on weekends unless otherwise discussed before hand. She will steal any little things she can get her fingers on and has even gone to the extreme of stealing my debit card while my husband was on deployment. She blames her failing grades on the teachers saying they dont grade her homework or that they just dont like her. She skips class and we have even gotten a $250 fine because of her truancy. This she also blames on the teachers bc they hate her and dont say she is there. Someone please help me. She turns 16 at the end of the month & I have no clue what to do with her anymore. She has even told us she wants A BABY!!!! HELP! 

Replies

  • amonkeymom
    December 5, 2012 at 12:40 PM

    Welcome!  What does your husband say about his daughter's behavior?

    Maybe it's time to let her face her consequences, legally or otherwise. 

    Quoting Allmermommy12:

    I have a 15 year old step-daughter who is always lying to everyone & stealing from her own family. Not to long ago she has CPS in my home 2 days in one week. The first time she went to the school and told them "My step-mom beats the hell out of me." Then CPS came in the home to investigate closed the case right away saying they know that was not happening in our home. The very next day she goes back to the school saying "I beat the hell out of her again & now I am burning her with cigarettes." CPS comes into the home again & once again closes the case. I am not abusive to my children and neither is my husband. We are strict parents and inforce the rules that you will come home do your homework & then do a few easy chores (dishes,sweep,dust,etc.) nothing that 12 & 15 year olds can not do. They also need to wash whatever clothing they may need or want for school and clean there own rooms. Is that to much to ask? They then can do whatever they want as long as we know where they are and are home before 7pm on school nights and 10 pm on weekends unless otherwise discussed before hand. She will steal any little things she can get her fingers on and has even gone to the extreme of stealing my debit card while my husband was on deployment. She blames her failing grades on the teachers saying they dont grade her homework or that they just dont like her. She skips class and we have even gotten a $250 fine because of her truancy. This she also blames on the teachers bc they hate her and dont say she is there. Someone please help me. She turns 16 at the end of the month & I have no clue what to do with her anymore. She has even told us she wants A BABY!!!! HELP! 


  • Allmermommy12
    December 5, 2012 at 12:45 PM

    This is neither of our biologically child either but hubby has been there since she was 2 weeks old. He has tried everything with her. He has even taken her to the police station to have them talk with her. We take her phone away,her friends away & everything you can think of but nothing seems to work. We even went to the extent of telling her if she straightens up we will buy her her first car and that didnt even work. I just have no idea anymore. He is about to go on another deployment soon and I have no idea of what to do with her. Her bio mother is no help so I dont know what to do....

  • gonecrazi
    December 5, 2012 at 12:45 PM

    First off the lying must stop, next time she steals something tell her she must pay for it.Do extra chores etc.. Maybe you could try a therapist,it would give her someone to talk to about what ever is going on that is a neutral person. Good luck

  • Allmermommy12
    December 5, 2012 at 12:50 PM

    She sees a counselor once a week but just tells her a bunch of lies also.

  • drfink
    by drfink
    December 5, 2012 at 9:13 PM

    Can yall go to family therapy?I am sure part of her issues stem from her mother.If yall get to go to family therapy ask for suggestions on how to handle this poor behavior while she gets help with working out her issues.Having issues from her mom doesn't give her free reign to misbehave but she does need some help.

    One of the benefits of family therapy is yall discuss and hear what is said,

    Good luck

  • suesues
    by suesues
    December 6, 2012 at 7:11 AM

    tough love, how about going to school with her 1 day sit in every class she will hate it

  • Allmermommy12
    December 6, 2012 at 10:58 AM

    I have thought about doing that Suesus!!! & as for the family therapy they wont until she has completed 12 sessions alone.

  • vlynn.iowa
    December 6, 2012 at 3:59 PM

    I'm sorry you are going through this.  My middle child was a lier but when she got caught she was remorseful.  I agree that counseling is a must.  Has she been tested for ADD/ADHD or any of the various mental disorders?  Does she have a learning disability? Dislexia, or some other one.  Has her group of friends changed?

    Does her Dad spend time with her?  Some kids just want attention they don't care if it is positive or negative attention.

    Does she have any teachers/classes that she likes or IS doing well in?  

    I agree that she needs to make retribution to those that she stole from.  My daughter stole $10 from her brother once (money that he would have williing loaned or even given to her) and when it came out that she stole from him we let him decide the retribution.  He was really reading the bible a lot at the time and decided that a 10 fold repayment should be made for the theft.  Which is biblical.  That was a very painful lesson for her and she has never stolen again.

    I wish you luck

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