Moms with Teens

teenage daughter who will not listen and problems at school
by DU1754
December 3, 2012 at 6:39 PM

Hello everyone, I am new to this site and hope I can get some good advise.  I have a 13 year old daughter the last few months she has been doing awful in school does not want to do her homework, turn in assignments in on time, and failing tests. The worst thing is that she does not seem to care, we have taken away all her electronics and have tried to get her tutoring help.  Nothing works she will talk to me and tell me that she is really sorry and things will change, then next week we are having the same conversation again.  I just dont know what more to do, we help her and she takes advantage of it, we don't help her and she just fails......  Please any advice will be great.


  • vampjezzabell
    December 3, 2012 at 6:52 PM

    The same thing happened happened with my daughter last year in 7th grade. I spent the whole last half of the school year battling with it. Ultimately I met with all of her teachers and she wasn't allowed to leave any class before showing the teacher that she wrote down her homework and she was put on lock down while she finished the ast portion of the year. I checked over all of her homework every night no matter long it took her to do it. Things got better and this year it's way better.

    Also maybe talk to the guidance councelor at school and explain the situation and have them pull her out here and there to talk to her and see if anything is going on at school that she might not feel comfortable talking to you about. I did that, too and nothing was going on at school, but it did give her an outlet other than me.

    Hope this helps! Hang in happens to all of them. I even remember it happening it to me around that same time.

  • DU1754
    by DU1754
    December 3, 2012 at 7:00 PM

    Thanks I will try that, I am in constant contact with her teachers, and they all say that if she would just pay attention she would be fine.  They all say that she just needs to put forth the effort.  I will def. start looking at her agenda and making sure she has all her assignments written down and checking her homework every night.  It is just frustrating because she is 13 and she should take on some of her own responsibility as far as school, that is what I think.  Thanks Again

  • boys2men2soon
    December 3, 2012 at 7:49 PM

    If she isn't responsible enough to do it on her own, maybe you need to manage her time for her.   Sit her down at the kitchen table every evening and supervise her homework.      Ask her teachers to sign off that she turned it in...every day.     Stay in contact with her teachers and perhaps her guidance counselor...maybe they have some insight that you don't?    How is her social life?  Is she having problems with friends?

  • MrsBLB
    by MrsBLB
    December 3, 2012 at 7:53 PM

    Welcome to the group.  

    This is a tough one.  Hormones could be playing a factor here.  Help her as much as possible.  If she really doesn't want the help, she may have to sink before swimming again.

  • lee74
    by lee74
    December 3, 2012 at 8:01 PM

    My daughter is 15 now when she was in the 6th grade it was the worst. She went from strait a's and b's to d's and f's. We took everything from her and left her room with a mattress and clothes that was it no make-up phone computor, phone or friends. she had nothing buttime to get her work done and after talking to the teachers and keeping commmunication open with them for every good grade she got she got one thing backso basicly she had to earn everything back did I also mention that she didn't get a birthday either. I know it sounds harsh but it worked by the 2nd term we were back to A's and B's ow she's a softmore in High school and she has a boyfriend and the grades started dropping so I gave her  achoice keep dropping the grades and she will have to drop the boyfriend, that lit a fire under her but. It's a teenage thing trying to see were they fit in in school and with themselves. Good Luck Momma Stand Strong. 

  • DU1754
    by DU1754
    December 3, 2012 at 8:03 PM

    Thanks I will start doing the supervisor thing again, and her social life is great. I don't think she is having any problems with them, she just had them all over the weekend and they were fine.

  • DU1754
    by DU1754
    December 3, 2012 at 8:05 PM

    That is what I thought, like I said we have tried and tried to help her and then the same thing happens when we stop, she just gives up.  I am  afraid that she is going to have to sink to learn how to swim

  • DU1754
    by DU1754
    December 3, 2012 at 8:08 PM


    Thank you so much for that, sometimes I feel like I am all alone and don't know what to do.  I sit and cry and think that I must have done something wrong.  Like I said I have taken the electronics away, maybe I should take away the make up and other things as well and she may get the hint then. 

  • baseballmom5416
    December 3, 2012 at 8:10 PM

    i went threw the samething with my 14 year old the toward the end of her 7th grade last year.i was getting phone calls every other day.going to meetings.etc.. well i dont know why she was acting like that..she woudnt say anything.i took everything away from her,she was grounded for the part of the summer.and when school started this year she straighted up and i havent had no more promblems..oh i forgot what she was doing.she wasnt doing her homework or work at school and she was only doing this in one certain class.her language art classes.she really gave her teacher a hard time she walked out of class slammed the door threw her book off to the teacher etc..i hope you daughter gets out of this stage she is in..keep having the meetings with your teacher..i did warn my daughter that i would come to her class without her knowing it if i kept getting the phone calls..try that on her when you have the meetings with her teachers and see if she can be in the meetings with you and the teachers.i hope this helps.

  • DU1754
    by DU1754
    December 3, 2012 at 8:14 PM

    Thanks I will take that into account.  I appreciate it. 

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