Moms with Teens

JenniferSq
He has excuses for EVERYTHING!
October 8, 2012 at 8:12 PM
Man alive this kid is driving us bonkers! My 15 yo ds has nothing but excuses for why he is not doing well in school. Things like, his teachers don't like him, honors classes are suddenly too hard for my kid who has been in honors classes since middle school. He only has 2 real classes this semeseter. Honors English and honors US History, his other 2 classes are PE and weigtlifting. I think he is just not motivated to do well, he just wants to have a good time and puts little effort into his work. He will do the work but if the teacher asks for 1 page, he barely manages a half a page. This is so frustrating. He is more than capable of doing the work. He usually excells in english and history. Of course as soon as we hold him accountable he wamts to run off. Saying things like he cant wait till he can move out. just so frustrating.

Replies

  • almondpigeon
    October 10, 2012 at 8:13 PM

    i just came to this board to vent about the same thing!!  my 15 yo is honestly going to make me insane!  he has turned in to the laziest, slacker ever & has excuses for EVERYTHING!  he huffs & puffs & rolls his eyes every time i try to talk to him, he yells @ me and the other kids and i can't get him out of his room unless i threaten to cut his computer cord.  he has me in tears every day.

  • anagalia011
    October 10, 2012 at 9:08 PM

    My 15 year old son also has excuses for everything.  He will lie about everything too.  I remember going through this with his 32 year old brother.  With the age difference I have forgotten how I stopped all this nonsense.  My 15 year old also wants me to run him all over the country side.  When he is here not at his father's he is on my computer 24/7 on the weekend.  Can't get him off the computer.  Then he yells at me when I ask him a question while he is on the computer.  It goes on and on and on. 

  • sunflowers12
    October 10, 2012 at 9:18 PM
    Just tell him you can wait til he moves out too.. but til then there are rules and expectations and he will do better or your going to start taking stuff away.. I understand thou what you mean they do seem to get lazy.. but if he is having a hard time try to be sensitive to that too...
  • fantasticfour
    October 10, 2012 at 9:21 PM

    I'm with you, going through the same thing with my son, in fact just decided to remove him from driver's ed because of it.  No more chances, no more lies, no more!

  • MrsBLB
    by MrsBLB
    October 10, 2012 at 11:11 PM

    Aren't they fun???

  • Diamondblue1
    October 10, 2012 at 11:20 PM
    My son will be 17 in a couple days snd he is a senior in high school he is the same way he wasn't doing to well in school now he has to go to night school so he's in school all day i hate he put that responsibility on himself but we tried to tell him since he started high school to handle his business but he'd rather hang out with "the homies" now he's paying for it. But he's getting slmost straight a's i just hope it lasts cause it seems like he's slacking off on little stuff raising teenagers are difficult plus i have a 14 year old and a 9 and 35 weeks pregnant i need to admit myself to the crazy house. Lol
  • bizzeemom2717
    October 11, 2012 at 2:12 AM
    Does taking away privileges like his cell phone, computer or time with friends help motivate him to turn things in?
  • DarlaHood
    October 11, 2012 at 2:26 AM

    You all have very normal teens!!  So typical of most teens to get away with what they can, to prefer the social scene to work of any kind, and to hate mom and dad and want to get out. 

    Hang in there.  This too shall pass.  It really does get better.

    The more your kid has a tendency to do this, the more strict you have to be - but more importantly - the more consistent.  You can strip them down to bare minimum, and explain that bare minimum is what he's earned by doing the bare minimum when it comes to his expected jobs. 

    If he steps it up, then he can begin to earn some luxuries back.  Many times parents only think about electronics and fun.  But luxuries are having vans, converse, or nike's instead of payless shoes.  Special brands of sweatshirts, pants, shorts, socks - all are luxuries.  You only owe him weather appropriate clothes, not a cool look or his favorite brands.  If you really get serious - he will reluctantly start to comply.  It won't be easy, and it will be a fight.  But keep fighting.  When he graduates, then he can explore consequences of his poor choices.  But as an adolescent, it is our job to make sure they graduate and stay out of trouble, no matter what it takes.  Just do NOT back down on any consequence or form of discipline.  And that also means not laying down the law unless you know you can follow through.  Also parents absolutely must be on the same page or he will divide and conquer.

  • Gmgej
    by Gmgej
    October 11, 2012 at 7:47 AM

    It sounds like he is 15 and good at it! I have been through this 2x and it does get better. My middle child did the running away threat and I was sick of hearing it. It ended up in a huge fight but it never happened again. I simply told him to pack his clothes and I would drop him off, I also told him what can and will happen when he leaves the umbrella of our protection, I told him what he would do to me his dad and his brothers emotionally. He ended up crying and breaking down, he was told not to ever threaten that again and he hasn't. Remember he is getting his testerone in rushes, it fogs the brain, makes them frustrated, and brings on anger and aggression, but it kind of ebbs and flows. Good luck momma.

  • atlmom2
    by atlmom2
    October 11, 2012 at 7:55 AM
    Don't allow excuses.

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