Moms with Teens

spinmom13
How much privacy in dd room?
September 17, 2012 at 3:54 PM

 Ok,my daughter is 16 and I respect her privacy, yet when I stumble upon things likewine cooler bottles and "missing" items in her room, I feel I need to address that immediatly. Especially because she is already in counseling for depression and cutting. My counselor says that would break our trust because she would think I was snooping!!

I think I need a new counselor! I asked my dd if she had been drinking with her friends,or smoking pot and she of course said no.

Do you think I direspected her privacy. Oh and by the way I was only putting her clean clothes in her room,she didn't hide them too well,so I didn't dig through her stuff. Please tell me what you think.

Thanks Berta

Replies

  • sahlady
    by sahlady
    September 17, 2012 at 3:56 PM

    I agree - NEW COUNSELOR!!!

  • atlmom2
    by atlmom2
    September 17, 2012 at 4:09 PM

    It is your house.  You can look in her room anytime you like.  She doesn't own the house.  If you suspect something, look. 

  • mom2bell
    September 17, 2012 at 4:11 PM
    I give my daughters (14 and 16) 100 */. Privacy. But, they have not given me reason not to.
  • bizzeemom2717
    September 17, 2012 at 5:30 PM

     If my DD was struggling with depression and cutting and I found alcohol in her room, the door would come down immediately...privacy is not a right, it's an earned priviledge!

  • bizzeemom2717
    September 17, 2012 at 5:32 PM

     Oh and get a new counselor asap, your DD could be in danger, cause self harm, and the counselor could lose her license, she sounds either incompetent or there is some sort of miscommunication, I hope the latter.

  • FindersKeepers
    September 17, 2012 at 5:42 PM

    I don't snoop through the kids things, but if I see something because I was dropping off laundry, vacuuming or walking by..... then I would for sure address it.  

    I have made my dd go through her room for "missing items" bc she is the worst offender about boring things without asking and not returning them.  I haven't really had that problem with ds

  • Barabell
    September 17, 2012 at 7:46 PM

    I agree....new counselor!

    Announce that you are going to go in her room, and then I don't think it's snooping. Your house, your room. You should still be able to go in there withou breaking your daughter's trust in you.

  • drfink
    by drfink
    September 17, 2012 at 10:16 PM

    I agree with the others yall need a new counselor.Bizeemom is very correct.The counslors attitude has her priorities mixed up.

  • drfink
    by drfink
    September 17, 2012 at 10:19 PM


    Quoting Barabell:

    I agree....new counselor!

    Announce that you are going to go in her room, and then I don't think it's snooping. Your house, your room. You should still be able to go in there withou breaking your daughter's trust in you.

    Exactly ,I have seldom ever searched my kids rooms...crossing fingers so far so good...but this is exactly what I have done.Said lets go and we did.Found nothing but a close friend had been busted.

  • Shea1967
    September 18, 2012 at 12:30 AM
    Until your dd pays you rent it is your home your rules. Also if my dd had issues plus I found stuff like that while not snooping time for door off and a curtain door on. Time for new therapist too I think. I get trust but she has to earn it back and not seeing it. Buck up mom you are in the right.

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