Moms with Teens

my4littlegirls
Would you let your 16 yr old dd date a 19 year old?
September 6, 2012 at 9:32 AM

Just curious because my dd thinks she should be able to date a 19 yr old who just graduated high school.

Would you let your 16 yr old dd date a 19 yr old?
  • Only group members can vote in this poll.
  1. 17% - yes
  2. 71% - no
  3. 11% - other (please explain)

Replies

  • atlmom2
    by atlmom2
    September 7, 2012 at 3:45 PM
    Whatever the grade is 16 is 16 and 19 is 19.


    Quoting FindersKeepers:

    What if she will be 17 next month and he turned 19 two days ago?      What if she is a 17yo college student?   What if he is a 19yo senior in high school? 


    Your comments is pretty black and white.   There could be some grey area in this age group.


    Quoting missybest:


    No way!  There is not a 16 year old alive who is emotionally prepared to date a 19 year old.  What are you thinking?  She is also a minor with an adult, so to speak.  If they have sex, which is what is being set up here, he could face rape charges being with a minor.  You are the adult and BOTH your very young daughter and this very young "adult" need to be protected.




  • kaitybird
    September 7, 2012 at 7:08 PM

    Considering it could potentially get him put on the sex offender's list.  I would say no.  I know it is rough, but the world sure isn't like it use to be and people like to push things.  So for their own goods I would say NO.  

  • dobrd
    by dobrd
    September 7, 2012 at 7:37 PM

    my4littlegirls, I don't care if a 16 yr.old is mature for her age, she is still 16 yrs. old from the kneck up!! She knows nothing of a real world, especially when alone w/a man at 19 yrs. old.. He's 3 yrs. older, she isn't.. I just say not in our house.. My DD was 15, wanted to date a 22 yr. old.. I told her she gets her own apartment 1st.. If not, she waits to finish school then, could go where she wanted to go but, not before.. Not going to play under my roof before her time.. I tell her that I've been her agem she's never been mine.. Take Care, Donna....

  • fullxbusymom
    September 7, 2012 at 9:30 PM

    I don't know as I said if they were in HS together fine, if not not cool.  I married a man 3yrs older so I wouldn't have a problem with a 18yr old freshman in college dating a 20yr old junior in college.  See where does the line suddenly not matter?

    Quoting atlmom2:

    How many really repeat a grade? The majority are the grades I said. My dd's were sophomores as 16, January and May. 19 as freshman/ sophomore in college. To me, what does an adult want with a younger hs girl? 1 year difference, ok.


    Quoting fullxbusymom:

    Here the general ages are:

    14-15yrs old - Freshman in HS

    15-16yrs old - Sophomore HS

    16-17yrs old - Junior HS

    17-18yrs old - Senior HS.

    However, if you repeat a grade you will be 19yrs graduting HS and if you make the cut off by only a few days like my 13yr old does.  You will be on the younger end as he is 13yrs old as a Freshman.  So he will graduate at 17 where 95% of the graduates will be at least 18. 

    Quoting atlmom2:

    Most I know, the 16 yo is a Jr in hs and the 19 yo is a sophomore in college. How ever you cut it, it is a large age gap.





    Quoting fullxbusymom:

    Well I would be okay with it, if the said male was still in HS and so was the said female.  You can have a 19yr old senior and a 16yr old junior depending on when their birthdays fall.  So sometimes it is perfectly fine imo.  However, if the girl is in HS and boy graduated already then no I am not okay with it. 

    Quoting atlmom2:

    Even if its legal it doesn't make it right.








    Quoting fullxbusymom:

    Actually at 16 it  isn't illegal.  They are of consenting age at 16 regardless of the age of the male at that point at least in my state they are.

    Quoting kirbymom:

    I would say no. First of all, it is illegal. I would not want anyone being charged with statatory rape if I could prevent that kind of a situation.  Second, a I am not comfortable with a person who is supposed to be done with the high school scene and moving up in the world towards college and work and making their life about finding a career and getting themselves situated as a functioning adult and then turning around and heading back to where they just headed away from. We are supposed to be going forward in our life's adventures. And I know that a 19 yr old and a 16 yr old are going to be on the same page in life. Why would we parents add to what amounts to two people who think differently and by al rights should, because of the direction each one is taking in their respective lives. That is, imho, asking for trouble. Trouble that could be prevented from ever even happening. 











  • my4littlegirls
    September 7, 2012 at 9:42 PM
    We basically told her once she is 18 she can date him. Also, my dh put it as date a 13 yr old boy, see how it feels. She didn't like that answer but she got the point. They were both born on the same date only 3 yrs apart so it's not a close issue.

    Last I heard he moved on now thankfully. It doesn't help with her other issues but it will help some though
  • atlmom2
    by atlmom2
    September 7, 2012 at 9:59 PM
    At 18 an adult yes, they can date who they want. Luckily my dd's date qa year older or a year younger only. Perfect to me. Dh is a year younger than me. We started dating when we were 18 and 19.
  • schoenlyfam6
    September 7, 2012 at 11:18 PM

    My daughter is 16.... I wouldn't allow it, until after high school...

    Then again I don't think she would even do that... then again... she's 16.. It's weird enough saying she's 16.

  • rebeccasmly
    September 7, 2012 at 11:26 PM
    Instinct says no but I dated a guy nearly 4 years older than I when I was 14-15 years old. I did lie about his age to my parents though because I knew they wouldn't allow it. So I know we had a good relationship and we're still friends now 20+ years later. I'm not sure exactly what I would say.
  • ame4c
    by ame4c
    September 8, 2012 at 5:59 AM


    Quoting kirbymom:

    I would say no. First of all, it is illegal. I would not want anyone being charged with statatory rape if I could prevent that kind of a situation.  Second, a I am not comfortable with a person who is supposed to be done with the high school scene and moving up in the world towards college and work and making their life about finding a career and getting themselves situated as a functioning adult and then turning around and heading back to where they just headed away from. We are supposed to be going forward in our life's adventures. And I know that a 19 yr old and a 16 yr old are going to be on the same page in life. Why would we parents add to what amounts to two people who think differently and by al rights should, because of the direction each one is taking in their respective lives. That is, imho, asking for trouble. Trouble that could be prevented from ever even happening. 

    Not that I would allow them to date, but just an FYI, it is not illegal for them to DATE.  It is only illegal for them to have sex and in order for the charge of statutory rape to stick, you have to PROVE they had sex.  If neither is talking and she is not prego, then it's going to be hard to prove.

  • ame4c
    by ame4c
    September 8, 2012 at 6:05 AM


    Quoting my4littlegirls:

    We basically told her once she is 18 she can date him. Also, my dh put it as date a 13 yr old boy, see how it feels. She didn't like that answer but she got the point. They were both born on the same date only 3 yrs apart so it's not a close issue.

    Last I heard he moved on now thankfully. It doesn't help with her other issues but it will help some though

    Ha ha.. that is funny.  My SO and I are exactly 5 yrs apart (born on the same day).  However with that said, I would not allow them to date until she was 18 either, for the simple reason your DD is not acting mature enough to handle a mature relationship.  In fact, if she were my dd, she wouldn't be dating at all.  I don't think it's an age issue at all I think it's her maturity level and how she is behaving at the moment.

    Oh and she would have been paying for her own phone after she broke the 1st one.

Moms with Teens