Moms with Teens

my4littlegirls
Would you let your 16 yr old dd date a 19 year old?
September 6, 2012 at 9:32 AM

Just curious because my dd thinks she should be able to date a 19 yr old who just graduated high school.

Would you let your 16 yr old dd date a 19 yr old?
  • Only group members can vote in this poll.
  1. 17% - yes
  2. 71% - no
  3. 11% - other (please explain)

Replies

  • wakymom
    by wakymom
    September 6, 2012 at 9:40 AM

    It would depend. How mature is she? Were they friends before he graduated? If she's pretty mature and responsible for her age and they had already been friends, I might not be happy, but I wouldn't try to say "No way!".

     

     

     

     

     

  • friendlymom5
    September 6, 2012 at 9:40 AM
    Yes, I would allow it.
  • my4littlegirls
    September 6, 2012 at 9:52 AM

    I was told by his "aunt" that I'm friends with that my dd is the first girl he treated right. He has a ton of problems. She also has been very disobiedient lately too. She just smashed her brand new phone thats under a 2 yr contract because she was mad. My dh is to the point that she will have to go get her own phone and account because we shouldn't have to pay for her breaking phones (3rd one in a year)

    Quoting wakymom:

    It would depend. How mature is she? Were they friends before he graduated? If she's pretty mature and responsible for her age and they had already been friends, I might not be happy, but I wouldn't try to say "No way!".

     

     

     

     

     


  • wakymom
    by wakymom
    September 6, 2012 at 9:53 AM

     Um, yeah, in that case, I'd be trying to discourage it.

    Quoting my4littlegirls:

    I was told by his "aunt" that I'm friends with that my dd is the first girl he treated right. He has a ton of problems. She also has been very disobiedient lately too. She just smashed her brand new phone thats under a 2 yr contract because she was mad. My dh is to the point that she will have to go get her own phone and account because we shouldn't have to pay for her breaking phones (3rd one in a year)

    Quoting wakymom:

    It would depend. How mature is she? Were they friends before he graduated? If she's pretty mature and responsible for her age and they had already been friends, I might not be happy, but I wouldn't try to say "No way!".

     

     

     

     

     


     

     

     

     

     

     

  • boys2men2soon
    September 6, 2012 at 10:53 AM

    It would depend on the maturity level of both.   Three years isn't that much of a difference...

  • fammatthews4
    September 6, 2012 at 10:55 AM
    Honestly I think this is a situational decision. In your case maybe not. In fact in your case I don't think the ages are the issue your daughters behavior is. Until she can act in a more responsible way she shouldn't be dating anyone.
  • momoffive07
    September 6, 2012 at 11:07 AM

    i would not allow my daughter to. 

  • kirbymom
    September 6, 2012 at 11:14 AM

    I would say no. First of all, it is illegal. I would not want anyone being charged with statatory rape if I could prevent that kind of a situation.  Second, a I am not comfortable with a person who is supposed to be done with the high school scene and moving up in the world towards college and work and making their life about finding a career and getting themselves situated as a functioning adult and then turning around and heading back to where they just headed away from. We are supposed to be going forward in our life's adventures. And I know that a 19 yr old and a 16 yr old are going to be on the same page in life. Why would we parents add to what amounts to two people who think differently and by al rights should, because of the direction each one is taking in their respective lives. That is, imho, asking for trouble. Trouble that could be prevented from ever even happening. 

  • andersongirl562
    September 6, 2012 at 11:17 AM
    I do t know about allow but since trying to stop it is going to push them into sneaking around I would place parameters and limitations do that I had some sort of control. I would also put my kid on birth control.
  • dandylynes
    September 6, 2012 at 11:33 AM

    Like others said before, it's a situational thing and it doesn't seem your daughter is mature enough to handle it.  Purposely breaking 3 phones is a no-go for sure.

    But, on the other hand, if she wants to see him, she will and just be sneaky about it.  Whereas if you allowed it, you could also have a little control over it.

    I agree with a PP, if you haven't already put her on birth control.

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