Moms with Teens

Cafe Kristin
How to get them to be more serious about school?
July 27, 2012 at 11:35 AM

I got a lot of great responses here about talking to your kids about the dangers of alcohol for my friend whose kids will be starting high school this year (thank you!), and I know she is also really wanting to find good ways to motivate her kids to get more serious about their education.

So, I thought I'd ask all you ladies: What are some tips for getting your kids to take school more seriously without being the annoying, nagging mom?!

Thanks so much in advance! I look forward to reading your responses!

Replies

  • boys2men2soon
    July 27, 2012 at 11:59 AM

    Get excited!   Take an interest in helping them choose classes, including electives.   Talk about their classes and what they are learning.   Do not just offer to read their papers to make corrections....discuss the content, take an interest.   If they feel what they are learning is interesting and useful to those not in school, they will be more interested.

    I have learned so much (and remembered a lot) from my sons during HS.    It is fun to discuss different theories and ideas.

  • lucky2Beeme
    July 27, 2012 at 12:09 PM

    We wrote up contracts with our boys. In them we stated that school work and homework comes before everything. That grades must have a 1 for effort(meaning they are trying their hardest) All assignments must be turned in and on time. IF they are not, my sons would return the uniform of the sport they were playing. We used sports because that was their passion. Having contracts worked great for us !

  • Cafe Kristin
    July 27, 2012 at 12:16 PM

    Excellent advice. Thank you!

    Quoting boys2men2soon:

    Get excited!   Take an interest in helping them choose classes, including electives.   Talk about their classes and what they are learning.   Do not just offer to read their papers to make corrections....discuss the content, take an interest.   If they feel what they are learning is interesting and useful to those not in school, they will be more interested.

    I have learned so much (and remembered a lot) from my sons during HS.    It is fun to discuss different theories and ideas.


  • Cafe Kristin
    July 27, 2012 at 12:16 PM

    I love this idea! Thanks so much!

    Quoting lucky2Beeme:

    We wrote up contracts with our boys. In them we stated that school work and homework comes before everything. That grades must have a 1 for effort(meaning they are trying their hardest) All assignments must be turned in and on time. IF they are not, my sons would return the uniform of the sport they were playing. We used sports because that was their passion. Having contracts worked great for us !


  • fantasticfour
    July 27, 2012 at 12:23 PM

    Good luck.  I'm still working on that one.

  • tyfry7496
    July 27, 2012 at 9:31 PM

     I have no idea. I have been wondering the same thing. I do place more responsibility for school on my son. He has to learn to be responsible for his own actions. I will be keeping an eye on this post.

  • bizzeemom2717
    Jen
    July 28, 2012 at 2:13 AM
    My kids are both involved in extra curricular/athletics. DS is in college now and DD is going to be a freshman in HS. Both know/knew that school comes first and good grades are nec to participate in sports.
  • annie2244
    July 28, 2012 at 1:00 PM

    We have contracts too that take away privileges (tv, cell, internet, friend time) if they have overdue assignments or a standing grade below a B-. And there's no screen time on school nights. And we get tutors as needed. We would never take away sports though. Every kid needs an hour of exercise/day, and sports is an easy way to get that in.

    And we make sure they know what life costs and what jobs pay, and know that they are either in mom + dad paid college or are living financially on their own at 18,  so they have a clear plan in their mind for higher ed and career options.

    And they see mom and dad reading, talking about our careers, engaging with them about career and higher ed paths and engaging with them about what they're learning, and cheering on any work well done.

    After that, it's up to them. Their life! I make it hard for them to screw around and easy for them to get ahead. But after all that is set up, if they still want to be mediocre and uninspired, in the end it is up to them.

    I would never leave it up to them before they graduate hs. Some kids are just too immature and undisciplined at 10, 14 or 16 still. I would never let their own lack of maturity damage their future. Up until age 18 I will have bumper guards on the degree to which they can shoot themselves in the foot - bumper guards in the form of contracts, privileges withdrawn, house rules that limit time wasters, and money spent on tutors. Some kids never need these bumper guards, some bump up against the bumpers only occasionally each year. Others (my oldest) is very slow to learn to cruise down her scholastic lane without need of them, but each year needs them less. 

  • Not_A_Native
    July 29, 2012 at 1:43 AM

    Take them on college tours - let them find out themselves what type of grades are necessary to attend the good colleges, that will get them good jobs.  Encourage them to research pay scales for different types of careers, how much it costs to live (rent, insurance, car, car insurance, food, utilities, cell, cable, gasoline and so on).  And how much they can expect to make after how long in different careers.  Encourage summer "college weeks" (some even include college credit) where they stay at a college, attend classes, and so on (a couple that mine have attended have been Washington Business Week and NSLC).

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