Moms with Teens

Nashville_queen
OMG, I need advice quick
December 18, 2011 at 4:48 PM
My 14 yr old had my phone today while I was taking a nap. While she had the phone she accessed a porn site. So when I went to text someone it was there. I questioned her she said it was a pop up from YouTube. After I shot that story down she said she googled it. After I told her she wouldn't go straight to the movie from googled she confessed. I asked her why was she looking at something like that. She said they be talking about them on the school bus and she wanted to watch one. I need help moms, I know porn is to much for a 14 yr old, but I also know what it's like to be curious at 14. I need advice quick, I told her we would talk later.

Replies

  • boys2men2soon
    December 18, 2011 at 5:33 PM

    Ummm, Wow?  This is unchartered waters for me.  

    Okay, I think I would tell her that porn is grown adults with little self respect who perform various sexual acts with lots of people in front of a camera.   Most porn stars use drugs to achieve the desired effects.  Explain that there is nothing romantic or loving about that type of sex.   If she watched a video, her curiosity should be appeased, and she is probably disgusted.

    When I was that age, I remember my friend and I being very curious about the adult male anatomy.  Her parents owned several 7"11 stores and her Mom caught us looking at a Playgirl.    She laughed and said it was normal and it was okay to look...but don't touch!  She let us look at the magazine.

  • drfink
    by drfink
    December 18, 2011 at 6:10 PM


    Quoting boys2men2soon:

    Ummm, Wow?  This is unchartered waters for me.  

    Okay, I think I would tell her that porn is grown adults with little self respect who perform various sexual acts with lots of people in front of a camera.   Most porn stars use drugs to achieve the desired effects.  Explain that there is nothing romantic or loving about that type of sex.   If she watched a video, her curiosity should be appeased, and she is probably disgusted.

    When I was that age, I remember my friend and I being very curious about the adult male anatomy.  Her parents owned several 7"11 stores and her Mom caught us looking at a Playgirl.    She laughed and said it was normal and it was okay to look...but don't touch!  She let us look at the magazine.

    Agree ,curiosity is powerful.I agree have a chat with her but don't go overboard for now.Keep a subtle eye out on her electronics and if it mostly stops it was just a curious teen moment.

  • PurpleHazey
    December 18, 2011 at 7:14 PM


    Quoting drfink:

     

    Quoting boys2men2soon:

    Ummm, Wow?  This is unchartered waters for me.  

    Okay, I think I would tell her that porn is grown adults with little self respect who perform various sexual acts with lots of people in front of a camera.   Most porn stars use drugs to achieve the desired effects.  Explain that there is nothing romantic or loving about that type of sex.   If she watched a video, her curiosity should be appeased, and she is probably disgusted.

    When I was that age, I remember my friend and I being very curious about the adult male anatomy.  Her parents owned several 7"11 stores and her Mom caught us looking at a Playgirl.    She laughed and said it was normal and it was okay to look...but don't touch!  She let us look at the magazine.

    Agree ,curiosity is powerful.I agree have a chat with her but don't go overboard for now.Keep a subtle eye out on her electronics and if it mostly stops it was just a curious teen moment.

    Yes this, I ran into this with my boys but never my daughters it was bad enough with my boys so I am not sure how I would handle it with my girls.

  • wagners7
    December 18, 2011 at 7:29 PM
    I think it is a normal part of being curious for both boys and girls. monitor things but keep it in perspective. loving respectful relationships when we are grown enough to handle them is ultimately what we expect when we grow up. let him/her know what your hopes for them are and that they make the kinds of choices that lead them to that.
  • bizzeemom2717
    December 18, 2011 at 7:40 PM
    Agree with advice above. Also warn of computer viruses. My DS was about same age and "just clicked on a link" and accidently downloaded a terrible virus on our computer.
  • alik1983
    December 18, 2011 at 8:35 PM

    WOW - not sure how I would handle it if my 14 year old did that.  I do agree that it's curiosity that's getting to her. I think, if it were me, depending on what kind of "porn" she was watching, I would let her know that porn is different from "making love" and that a lot of times porn is improper.  Talk about it with her and let her know the difference between porn/raw sex vs. making love with someone who deserves her.  My daughter and her friends were grossed out during their "women's health" class when they had to watch a live birth.  That was probably the best birth control she got. 

  • MrsBLB
    by MrsBLB
    December 18, 2011 at 8:43 PM

    I agree with all of the above.  Let us know how things go...

  • Landonsmom312
    December 18, 2011 at 8:45 PM

    wow, thats a lot for a 14 yr old to take in... you are definately doing the right thing by talking w her bout it. If not, its too much for her to process without the proper knowledge. Depending on how hard core the video was, you could explain thats what 2 adult people do when they are married and in love. I have a 13 yr old daughter and I have found out that they know a lot more than i thought or even could imagine. . . Its crazy how things have changed even since I was a teen in the 90's.....explain that women shouldnt give themselves to just anyone or the first boy who claims to "love" them. Let her know that she is too pretty and smart to be worried with that stuff now. . . go

  • kykyo
    by kykyo
    December 18, 2011 at 8:46 PM
    Alot ppl expect this thing from boys but girls are just as curious and the way world is today it is hard for them because kids are younger and younger talking about sex now adays. I guess teach her your values and explain best you can about bad things that can come of it. If you want her wait till she alot older to experience sex then explain all the good things about waiting, even if it may or may not be what you did. It about choices we make and I think it important for kids to know that and consequences for our actions. Hope this some help, good luck. ;). If you think it one time thing then maybe you may not wanna focus too much on it, you are the best person to judge that since she your girl. ;)

    Quoting wagners7:

    I think it is a normal part of being curious for both boys and girls. monitor things but keep it in perspective. loving respectful relationships when we are grown enough to handle them is ultimately what we expect when we grow up. let him/her know what your hopes for them are and that they make the kinds of choices that lead them to that.
  • fantasticfour
    December 18, 2011 at 8:58 PM

    She was honest with you and I think because she was honest and told you what the deal was, you should probably go a little easy on her.

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